Common Sense v. Amber Shooting War.
At the other blog, it seems our beloved Yakov is in the midst of defending himself against, Amber “The Bloody Menarche Flag of Tehran” Pawlik. I don’t want to take sides in it, although Yakov’s claim that she is romantically involved with possibly 1 to 43,000 Mullahs sounds tenable under the grammatical circumstances. Let’s look to Amber’s dad for guidance on the matter. He believes that this “tiff” is really a romantic spat.
This is a conversation between father and daughter last night.
Amber: “I’m not going out with Common Sense, he’s a creep.”
Dad: “That’s insane! CS is a great hero of the common man and defender of the people.”
A: “Gee, that’s so like every dad. They all want their girls to grow up and marry Yakov Bok.”
D: “Can you blame us? Having him live the rest of his life on my couch is a dream of mine. His cologne makes the house smell like downtown Ann Arbor.”
A: “That’s marijuana, dad, not cologne.”
D: “Whatever.”
A: “But dad I can’t marry him, he called me a dingleberry and a twit.”
D: “Now, Amber, what about those intellectual test results from the fifth grade?”
A: “I know, I know. But, dad, I’m sorry, I can’t marry him. He’s a pornographer.”
D: “Honey, everyone has a vice or five.”
A: “He called me up on the phone and asked to sleep over-”
D: “So? He only asked because he loves you.”
A: “He asked me to sleep over and have unprotected b-tt sex with him! What kind of person calls a girl and says something like that anyway?”
D: [With pride in his voice] “Common Sense, Amber, Common Sense. I love that guy. Maybe once he moves in we can pick up some stray over the weekends together. I can’t wait to have another red-blooded American male in the house with us.”
A: “Okay dad, I’ll go look at some dresses.”
D: “Fine, just make sure you respect Yakov and buy the cheapest thing on the rack.”
A: “I will daddy.”
D: “Say, Amber, who’s your daddy?”
A: “That’s a good one. Common Sense, dad, Common Sense.”
D: “Great, just make sure to submit when he asks you too.”
The End–Yakov lived happily in the living room ever after.