And I though I was a bad singer…
Admittedly, I was scrounging up some grub in the kitchen during halftime at Tuesday’s Orange Bowl game between Oklahoma and USC. At some point though, I thought I heard what I thought was a cat being slaughtered with a belt sander. I went back into the living room. Turns out it was only Ashlee Simpson singing… or… something.
The audio and video of Simpson’s illustrious performance proves two things: 1) Simpson’s much better off when she’s lip synching, and, 2) William Hung sounds like Luciano Pavarotti compared to Ashlee’s primal death wail.
Even Yoko Ono woke up and said “What is that crap?”
Hopefully this is the catalyst to bring back marching bands to football intermissions. In either case, it doesn’t really matter to those of us who spend halftime in the beer and/or bathroom line.
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January 6th, 2005 at 9:57 pm
My friend ‘Mic’ told me about your blog around 4 weeks ago. There is not a day goes by that you do not have me laughin’ so hard that I’m cryin’! I only hope the libs keep going with their wackiness so we can keep rackin’ up the W’s in elections! At this rate Republicans will not only continue to win the White House but will hold every seat in congress, every governorship, and every state legislature in just a few short election cycles!
January 7th, 2005 at 12:13 am
Regarding the whole half-time fiasco. . .I have often questioned the marketing morons who repeatedly throw up some sort of pop show that is so far away from your average football viewer. Seriously, is there any connection between the gridiron culture and the poptart fluff?
Maybe these are attempts to make bowls into father-daughter events or to bridge the gap between a rugged athletic event and the gay culture. You know, a little roughness. . .a little hairstyle. . .and all sides can come together on the tight pants.
January 7th, 2005 at 7:51 am
Thanks for “Mic” for spreading the word, and thanks to everybody for reading!
It’s a lot of fun to put this thing together, and makes coming up with column ideas quite easy when there is a pool of dozens of ideas scribbled down during the course of the week from which to choose a topic.
January 7th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Doug,
I enjoy reading your various sites and columns. It’s kinda tough keeping up with you, you’re all over Mr. Gore’s internet!
Anyway, I was curious…just because the halftime announcer called Ashlee Simpson a ’superstar’, does that make her a superstar? I’ll decide if she’s a superstar for myself thank you very much. (She’s not!)
Much like Mic, I’m sick of these silly acts showing up at football games!! If you really want to entertain me, how about getting some liberal politicians and actors on the field and have them run some plays against the Baltimore Ravens defense?!?! Could you envision Michael Moore & Ted Kennedy leading on a power sweep left, with Bab’s running the ball?? Sic ‘em Ray!
BTW, I’m not sure linking to the audio/video of the Asshead Simpson disaster is such a great idea either. You may lose some readers!
January 8th, 2005 at 6:03 am
I didn’t catch the “Superstar” comment, but maybe it was because it was drowned out by the chorus of booes. Ashlee Simpson’s a “superstar” the way there will be some person you’ve never seen before hosting an infomercial, and at the bottom of the screen, it will list their name along with the title “famous television personality” or “international celebrity.”