I followed a link from Little Green Footballs to an extremely vile and divisive article from Seattle reporter Ken Schram titled Just Born The ‘Right’ Way?
In it he sites a study from American Political Science Association that claims, “Political attitudes and behavior are the result of both environmental and genetic factorsâ€ÂÂ. One may argue that this is nonsense, but taken on its face it makes a fairly good argument with plenty of “science†to back up the claim.
Given that, Mr. Schram uses this study to prove his point that being conservative is “merely a matter of having been dumped in the shallow end of the gene pool.†Nothing in the study ever even remotely suggests that liberals are genetically superior to conservatives. Mr. Schram just extrapolates on the genetic difference claim to fit his preconceived bias. In other words he uses the study to hurl the usual insults at the inbred, red-state Christers.
So I decided to have a little fun and re-write his article with a few, slight variations and email them (with a polite introduction) to Schram to see if he can take it like he dishes it out. Read his article first and then see if you can spot the changes in my version:
Dear Mr. Schram,
I just read your commentary, “Just Born The ‘Right’ Way?â€ÂÂ
I was just wondering how anyone who read the neutral study you reference could come up with the biased, ad hominem, and derogatory article you penned (“shallow end of the gene pool†indeed).
So, in the interest of fair play, I have re-written your article from my unique perspective: I’m a California libertarian who is forced by the loony left to vote Republican since the only Democrat I’d vote for is Zell Miller. I’m agnostic and I don’t give a rat’s ass about gay marriage. I also support the war in Iraq. So, Mr. Schram, try cramming me into your Conservative Box.
Enjoy my article that will post at “The Daily Cause†blog (www.mensnewsdaily.com/blog/channel1/).
Thanks and have a great day, Pete Mayer
MY VERSION: Okay. Now I get it.
And because I do, I now have a better understanding for the likes of Howard Dean, Michael Moore, Dick Durbin, Barbara Boxer, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and even Hillary Clinton.
They can’t help themselves.
According to a new study published in the American Political Science Review, being politically liberal is, in part, a matter or genetics.
I’ve long wondered how an otherwise seemingly rational person could adhere so strictly to utopian ideologies like socialism and communism; how they could be so consistently willing to smother a sense of individual achievement and well-being.
It’s merely a matter of having been dumped in the shallow end of the gene pool.
They’re sorta like the puppy who piddles in the middle of the floor [or like a certain former president who couldn’t keep his pants zipped up around interns]: They just don’t know any better.
To be sure, the study says that how someone is raised may determine their political party affiliation, but it’s genetics that appears to set one on a philosophically liberal course.
To me, that helps explain why open discussion of issuesâ€â€Âas opposed to name calling rhetoricâ€â€Âthreatens their intellect, or why they are reluctant to go to war even if it is obvious that the enemy wishes that every single American were, well… dead.
It’s not that liberals mean to favor the criminals, terrorists, or the just plane lazy over the ever-increasing middle class.
And it’s not that they’d rather save one Kangaroo Rat than let a farmer till the soil and earn a decent living.
Because it’s not really their fault.
They’re just born that way.
Pete Mayer
P.S. For all the superior genetics that you must possess you sure look unhappy and even angry in your picture. I have found that you enlightened, superior intellects tend to be that way: angry, self-righteous, guilt ridden… but what would a knuckle-dragger like me know, right?
Well, that sure was fun. I think I like this whole “write emails to liberals who piss me off†meme.
