Gay Fuel

Specialty Spirits is marketing a carbonated energy drink specifically targeting gay consumers—not that there’s anything wrong with that. Ingredients: elderberry juice, caffeine, ginseng and three Brazilian herbs that are supposed to make you sexually stimulated. They also claim that 5% of the profits go to HIV/AIDS organizations. Isn’t that a bit of a conflict of interest? I mean, maybe they’d be better off if it made you less sexually stimulated.

David Syner, COO of Gay fuel, “believes he can steal away some of Red Bull’s share-even among heterosexual drinkers-though he admits his best opportunities lie in less macho societies in, say, Europe.” Yeah, I’m sure it will be all the rage in France.

Anyway, this got me thinking of some other products that could be marketed for gays:

1) The 2006 Gala: The first car made exclusively for the discerning gay driver. Looks surprisingly similar to the Toyota RAV4.

2) Fag Cigarettes: Marketed in the UK where “blowing a Fag” takes on a whole new meaning. Available in regular and “King Size”.

3) Gay Soap: With 10 different moisturizers and PH balanced you’ll never want to drop this soap.

4) Gay Water: Water so pure you’ll want to drink it straight, so you better add a twist of lime.

5) Gay Salami: When your lover says let’s play “hide the salami” you’ll have only the finest meat to offer. Available in regular and “King Size”.

Well, my ADHD is kickin’ in so I’ll end the list with that.