Eat Meat

Perhaps you’ve heard of the latest craze: Lab-grown meat.

I, for one, cannot wait till I can sink my teeth into my next chicken McNugget from a cultured specimen that has been stretched, stacked and chopped properly. Yum.
No mess no slaughter. Why bother with the trouble and burdensome task of growing Chickens or Cows just to decapitate them—just grow the meat parts and the arduous task is done. No plucking feathers, no skinning, no killing; you can just grow the parts separately in the hermetic environment of a factory. Much like bread or cheese.

At first I eschewed the thought munching lab-grown flesh, but after much introspection I concluded that this would indeed revolutionize the way we eat meat. Just think—replace the bad Omegas with good Omegas (I really have no idea what the hell that means, but it sounds good) and viola: meat that is actually good for you.

This, of course, would pose a conundrum for the vegetarian/vegan crowd:

“It won’t appeal to someone who gave up meat because they think it’s morally wrong to eat flesh or someone who doesn’t want to eat anything unnatural,” Kerry Bennett of the UK Vegetarian Society told the Guardian newspaper.

So bread, tofu, wine, beer, cheese, noodles, and those tasty Jell-O cups are out, right Kelly? How ‘bout chowin’ down on some guilt-free salmon steaks for a change—it would do your constipated system good—me thinks.

[thanks to Cadet Happy at IMAO.US for the info]