Scratch Where it Itches
I
There was a gal named Ida Mae :
When she was seventeen,
She went to Atlantic City
To become a Beauty Queen.
She could sing just like an Angel,
An’ her figger shore did please-
But then she started scratchin’
Like an ol’ houn’ dog with fleas !
Chorus
Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !
II
Oh, it musta been contagious ,
Or somethin’ in the air –
‘Cause all of them Contestants
Started itchin’ everywhere !
They had to stop the Pageant :
All the Judges hollered “Whoa !â€ÂÂ
When lovely Miss America
Scratched herself from head to toe !
Chorus
Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !
III
There’s a moral to this story-
Now that we’ve had our fun :
Folks are pretty much the same
After all is said and done,
There’s times you can’t be subtle-
When you gotta be direct:
When you gotta scratch even though it ain’t
Politically correct !
Chorus
You gotta scratch where it itches :
Right down in your britches-
You gotta scratch where it itches,
An’ not where it looks the best !
