The Apocalyptic Paroxysm of Numbers And Crazy Men

 Nobody’s Opinion;  Iran’s nutcase, Ahmadinejad, who dresses like he hangs out on Martha’s Vineyard (for all we know, he has been there) instead of the religious cleric that he claims to be, has announced today that the apocalyptic end of time will come on August 22, 2006.

That gives me only thirteen days to see Yosemite, the Redwood Trees, and Las Vegas: write the two novels I’ve been thinking about, get my product into all sports parks, and redecorate my house: throw away all the junk in the basement, build a bunker in the backyard, and stock it with enough food to last two months: see the ocean again, learn how to skydive, and go whitewater rafting down the Colorado River…and if there’s any time left, visit the Castles in Europe.

Okay, it’s official. This insane man wants to end the world, despite the warnings of Pat Buchanan to the contrary.

It seems in 874 A.D., some imam named Mahdi jumped down into a well and is still there. He will only be released when the time is right by an “apocalyptic” moment, in which he will jump out of the well and save the Earth by converting us all into Shiite Islamists. Ahmadinejad believes he has been chosen to do this deed. He is going to release Mahdi from the well, with probably a nuclear weapon.

He has not said where this well is.

This sounds pretty much like the second coming of Jesus, except Jesus will be coming down from the sky.

You would think these two religions would get together on this.

Okay, bad idea. But this particular number, 22, has got me worried because something has been happening to millions of people all over the planet for years now that is really crazy.

In fact, it happens to me all the time. There are whole websites trying to explain it, but like trying to find the reason men always go to war when it’s obviously a really stupid way to settle disagreements, it cannot be explained, although many give it a good try.

What is that you ask? Millions see the numbers 2.22 or 1.11, on a clock, every day, when they just happen to look up.  Or they see these numbers just anywhere during the day. I tend to get them on my lotto tickets,(which means I lose) but people have said they can see them anywhere and on just about anything you can think of…even divorce papers, bingo cards, and dog tags.   

Hey, I’m not making this up. There have been whole radio talk shows done on this subject, and to those of us that it happens to, it can drive you crazy, because if your not superstitious like this nobody, (I have never avoided a black cat in my life.) having something so bizarre go on in your life which you have absolutely no control over, not unlike foreign insane leaders with nukes, is not fun.

Now, people have always been suspicious. Ball players have their lucky bats. Nadia Comaneci had her teddy bears to bring her luck on the balance beams. Hillary had séances with Eleanor Roosevelt when they told her to go be quiet, and Nancy Reagan would hire astrologers to forecast her husband’s day. We can only wonder what President Bush does to feel lucky.

Obviously, he needs to find something.

The number 13 was always considered so unlucky, that for many years the 13^th floor was left off of high rise buildings.

But 22, that number is special because according to numerology it is the highest number in the universe…the master number. And 11 is right under it. And as David Ickes said tonight on Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, 22 equals two 11’s.

This could get serious.

Once I even saw the number 22 on the inside of my refrigerator, which I took as a warning against apocalyptic cravings of ice cream.

And even though we want to think it’s a good sign, these numbers, historically speaking, have usually meant bad things to many people. (See Nobody Knows)

But that’s not the point. It seems that logically, numbers mean whatever meaning that the individual places on them, and in this instance Ahmadinejad believes that August the twenty-second was the night when his lord Muhammad flew to “the farthest mosque,” which was Jerusalem, and then flew up to heaven, and then back again.

Of course, he faked this whole thing, but you cannot tell the believers that.

The best we can hope for is that when doomsday comes, Muhammad will be so busy fooling around with his virgins that he won’t see Jesus coming down from the sky to get him.

I plan on sleeping the whole day, just in case.

 

Nobody’s Perfect;  Okay… I doubt very seriously if this guy is going to nuke everyone in 13 days. Nevertheless, the fact that he believes in this Islamic insanity is reason enough to maybe look for some good signs, like…like….give me a second….uh…

Nobody’s Knows;  Here’s a little list of historical events on the 22th and 11th of the months just for fun, and remember, some of us need a life.

9/11/2001        World Trade Center destroyed.

12/22/2001      Shoe bomber tries to destroy plane

1/22/1973        Roe VS Wade decision

11/22/1963      Kennedy shot in Dallas

12/11/1941      U.S. declares war on Italy and Germany

8/22/1998        Drudge report on Monica Lewinsky

4/22/2000        Janet Reno takes Elian

7/22/1979        Saddam accuses council members of crimes (poor guys)

6/22/1941        Operation Barbarossa, Germans invade Russia

9/22/1861        The town of Osceola, MO, was sacked by Jayhawkers.

2/22/1862         Quantrill’s raid of Independence, MO

4/22/1940        Germans bomb Norwegian towns in air blitz

Well, you could find many, many more…but on the other hand:

On a 22^nd day in December the Berlin wall fell, and on the 11^th of November, (1918) an armistice was signed with Germany to end WWI.

Nobody Cares;  Hey, I’m not superstitious, just observing. Anybody got more to add? Seeing number? Is someone trying to tell us something?

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 at 3:22 am and is filed under Vox Populi. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. | 9 views | Trackback | Print this page |

I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in your yucky brown, one rink up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life;drummer/singer/keyboards---but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing...depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents...but that really doesn't make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS...which I have more of than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined, mostly political. Hopefully other nobodys will put their opinions on my site. But if you are a sombody...you're more than welcomed to help out. I will try to prove that sometimes nobody knows the answers, sometimes nobody cares, sometimes nobody wins, and most importantly...NOBODY is perfect. Please bear this in mind when you read my thoughts. I don't mean to offend nobody, it's all in good fun. | More from Joyanna Adams