John Murtari: Man, Son, Father…Peace-loving Activist
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The Christmas newsletters John Murtari sent to close family and friends the last several
years bear witness to a warm and loving family life. Murtari cared for his ailing elderly
mother (now passed) with the devotion of a good Catholic son, and dreamed of guiding
his son with the same attention and time. In those newsletters, posted to his website
AKidsRight.org, John writes about his marriage, his son, and the divorce he tried to avoid
but couldn’t.
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Early on he wrote the minimal court-ordered visitation time with his son should be short-lived. By the next Christmas he said things weren’t going so well. Each year he wrote with growing concern for the lack of justice in family court and mentioned his increasing involvement in the family law reform movement. By 2005 he joked it was the first year in a long time he hadn’t spent a night in jail. Through it all Murtari maintained a positive outlook.
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As he sits in the Onondaga County Justice Center now, he continues to speak in terms of peace and forgiveness. With a feeding tube going down his throat to keep him alive he thinks of others first, asking his supporters to be kind when they write or act on his behalf.
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Murtari stopped eating and drinking in an act of passive resistance when he reported to jail to serve a 6-month sentence for failure to pay child support. “Support is not just financial,” he said, “it’s emotional, physical, mental…parenting encompasses more than just paying money.” “I want to parent my child. I have a right to parent my child. He’s been moved states away and it costs a lot to maintain our relationship.”
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Murtari’s travel expenses have not been calculated into his child support order, which was wrongly set to begin with by using a former salary, a practice called imputing income. Many parents get thrown into child support arrears when their income is imputed, and they simply can’t ever catch up. The system we have in place now has no room for parents who get ill or disabled, or lose a job unexpectantly.
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From jail John writes:
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My sincere appreciation for what so many have done on my behalf. I amvery, very grateful! It's no exaggeration to say you made a hugedifference in my future quality of life. Now that I feel a bit betterlet me share some thoughts. (Full history athttp://www.AKidsRight.Org/support_jm.htm) . Our Goal -------- We are mothers and fathers that want our human right to raise andnurture our own kids to be recognized and protected. We decide whatis in our "child's best interest." We are good, average, and poorparents -- but always growing with our kids. We are FIT & EQUALuntil a criminal court finds us guility of being a demonstrated threatto our kids. A unanimous verdict from a jury of our peers -- parents. . Don't try this at home ----------------------- Let's consider this a unique event in response to gross and repeatedinjustice. Some have called it a foolish act. There can be a fine linebetween bravery and stupidity. I get very close to that border andhope to avoid future visits! . I went into this a very healthy person, 5'8" and 155 pounds. Lastweek I was down to 127 pounds and have had vital signs thatvaried from almost normal, to very low blood pressure, to a weakand irregular pulse, to a resting heart rate of over 120 as thedehydration became severe. My blood sugar dropped to as low as43, but then actually climbed back to the 80s. The Doctors told methe body was tapping reserves of muscle. I was blessed with agood set of internal organs and they were degrading in textbook order! . Where things are now --------------------- They started feeding me with a Nasal/Gastric tube on the 10thday (last Thursday). Today is Sunday (Aug. 13th) and I'm on aregular feeding routine. Three times a day with 2 cans of CarnationInstant Breakfast (250 ml/each). . You can still eat with a NG tube and the Doc recommended I takesome juice/milk via mouth also. They still bring me a full tray ofregular food, but I do not eat any of that. The tube is annoying,sleeping is difficult, and it hurts with every swallow. . NonViolent Action ------------------ For a while it seemed to be a game of 'chicken' with jail staff.Doctors told me there would be no intervention unless therewas a medical emergency. All I could think of was kidney failure,heart failure, or loss of consciousness. I was scared, but howcould I back down?. NonViolent Action (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil.htm), Faith,Love, and Personal Sacrifice. I was confronted by everything Ihad said to many of you, to myself, my friends, and most of all to myson, Domenic. . All I could do was pray and hope for good things and place more trustin the loving God I say I believe in.. Your actions turned the tide. The rally on Wednesday, the newspaperstories on Thursday morning and a schedulled in-jail press interview-- made good things happen. Again, I am so grateful! . Out of Sync ------------ Most people were so great and positive in their messages. They talkedabout "Our Goal" and the great love they have for their kids. . But some people still preferred to send a nasty message and gripeabout the Judge, or show their disgust for lawyers, or the angerthey have towards women or men.. Can we leave that behind? It is not needed and only hurts us more.. What's Next ------------- There may be a court date next week. A chance for freedom ormore of the same. Again, please accept my thanks! . Our long range goal is still to arrange a meeting with SenatorClinton and with mothers and fathers hurt by the Nation'sdifferent Family Law systems.See http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr/.
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New articles:
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Inmate from Lyons gets feeding tube
By JIM MILLER, Finger Lakes Times, 8/15/06
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Inmate: I don’t recommend…this.
Protesting child custody laws, John Murtari stopped eating 10 days ago
By Sue Weibezahl, Post Standard, 8/12/06
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Earlier articles:
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Post Standard – August 10 – Jailed Activist Refusing Food
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Finger Lake Times – August 10 – Lyons Man Refuses Food, Water
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Past posts on John Murtari
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John on video previously:
| The Start of an effort using NonViolentAction. (2:30) | |
| Why go to Jail? The Need for a Jury. (1:00) | |
| The Importance of Family. (:40) |
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I'm a sun and nature loving, 50-something, laid back, forward thinking, liberal anti-feminist egalitarian, san francisco bay area native, single mom of 4 and yia yia to 2. I've been active in the equal parenting movement since 2002. Known as the purple Queen of Equality, I once blogged as the Feminist4Fathers. Find me now on sharedparentingworks.org and jugsforjustice.org. | More from Teri Stoddard
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August 16th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
The Antipeonage Act Website fully supports John Mutari and wishes him the best of luck!
August 17th, 2006 at 5:30 am
[...] previous post on John Murtari . . I’d like to thank Mike McManus for his column on shared parenting and joint custody: . The Need for Shared Parenting . by Mike McManus . John Murtari, 49, is sitting in a Syracuse jail for two weeks as I write, and has refused to eat or drink to protest “gross and repeated injustice” by the court system in a custody battle over access to his son, Domenic, 13. . From the state’s perspective, he is a deadbeat dad, who owes $60,000 in child support. . However, the initial support level was not based on his income, but the $70,000 he once earned as a software engineer for a defense firm. When the company filed false reports, he says he blew the whistle and was fired the next day. . Though president of his own software firm, his earnings are half of what he used to make. The first injustice is that his child support level was set far too high. Second, the court allowed his wife to move to Colorado, in spite of his protest. She’s studying for a third college degree, which she could have pursued in New York State. Why should any court allow a divorced parent to move so far away that child visitation by the parent left behind is almost impossible? . If Domenic visited him, John had to fly to Colorado, pick him up, bring him back, and then return with him to Colorado. Three round trip tickets cost $1,000 per visit. But the court would not allow him to deduct that from his child support payments. That’s a third injustice. . Fourth, he repeatedly filed for modifications of his child support level, and was denied. He was assigned a public defender who told him, “John, just pay the money. You’ll see your son when he is 18.” . John has been paying $50 a month, which is skimpy. However, he estimates he has spent $60,000 in support of his son, but none of it counts in the court’s eyes. In the last seven years, he flew out four times a year for visits, and picked him up for vacations in New York twice a year. “How many of those could I have traded away – and not lost our relationship?” he asks. . So he sits today in debtor’s prison, to call attention to the plight of divorced parents denied regular access to their children. John told me before going to jail that he would not eat or drink and would force the prison to keep him alive with a feeding tube. For ten days the jail refused to do so. His weight dropped from 155 pounds to 127. His blood pressure fell to a dangerous level. . Stories appeared in local newspapers, and a feeding tube was inserted. He asserts, “This is not suicide wish or hunger strike. My goal is not to hurt myself but to make them expend an uncomfortable amount of effort to keep me in custody.” . There has to be a better answer and there is. It is called “shared parenting,” or “joint custody,” which is granted in only 16 percent of cases. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, “A major advantage of joint custody may be its ability to address the high rate of current father absence subsequent to divorce. Joint custody has been correlated with increased father involvement.” . Second, “Joint custody versus sole maternal custody was associated with adolescent’s positive adjustment. Several studies found that increased and reliable visitation by the noncustodial parent (usually the father) predicted positive adjustment of children.” . Feminists oppose joint custody on grounds that child support will be reduced. However, “the consensus of studies” found that “child support is either increased” or not significantly different. A fourth benefit is that there is “decreased re-litigation” with shared parenting, and less conflict between spouses in general. . Thus, research proves what common sense would suggest. Shared parenting results in greater father involvement, more financial support, less litigation and happier children. . David Levy, an attorney who is President of the Children’s Rights Council, reports another great impact of joint custody. States with the greatest amount of joint custody enjoyed a big drop in divorce rates. The six states with the most joint custody are, in order, Montana, Kansas, Connecticut, Idaho, Rhode Island, and Alaska. The states with the highest decline in divorce in the 1990s were Alaska, Kansas, Connecticut, Illinois, Montana and Idaho. . Why? . “If a parent knows that he or she will have to interact with the child’s other parent while the child is growing up, there is less incentive to divorce,” says Levy. . Here’s a political issue for this political season. . Candidates for governor or state legislatures: why not fight for more joint custody to support kids and lower divorce rates? . END TXT Copyright (c) 2006 Michael J. McManus . [...]
September 8th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
[...] John Murtari Live on the Laurie Reilly Show . This Sunday, September 10, 10:00 AM . LISTEN LIVE online, AND CALL IN WITH QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS! . 810 WGY, Albany, New York . 1-800-TALK-WGY (1-800-825-5949) . (or *WGY on your Cingular or Verizon Wireless Phone) . WGY is now broadcasting two distinct signals. Their current analog signal (WGY-AM) and a high-definition digital signal (WGY-HD). You’ll hear the same great 810 WGY programming on both signals. . Background information on John Murtari HERE, in other posts on this blog and HERE. [...]