John Murtari update:
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The last couple of days have been terribly hard on John Murtari. The feeding tube is wearing his throat raw. He told his cousin Cheryl who visited him in jail, that it hurts so much he tries to keep himself from swallowing. He hasn’t been able to sleep, except for Tuesday night when they removed the tube for fear of perforation.  It was due to be reinserted Wednesday.
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John told Cheryl that he could feel his muscles changing shape as his body drew from them to stay alive. “I could see the weight loss in his face,” she said, “and he was hoarse.” “It breaks my heart,” she continued, “John is a really great dad. It never should have gotten to this point.”
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She said, “He wants to thank everyone who cares about this cause. It’s wonderful how so many people who’ve never met John are working together on this.” And she added, “A man like him couldn’t need it more. He has so little, and so little family.”
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previous post on John Murtari
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I’d like to thank Mike McManus for his column on shared parenting and joint custody:
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The Need for Shared Parenting
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by Mike McManus
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John Murtari, 49, is sitting in a Syracuse jail for two weeks as I write,
and has refused to eat or drink to protest “gross and repeated injustice”
by the court system in a custody battle over access to his son, Domenic, 13.
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From the state’s perspective, he is a deadbeat dad, who owes $60,000 in
child support.
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However, the initial support level was not based on his income, but the
$70,000 he once earned as a software engineer for a defense firm. When the
company filed false reports, he says he blew the whistle and was fired the
next day.
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Though president of his own software firm, his earnings are half of what he
used to make. The first injustice is that his child support level was set
far too high. Second, the court allowed his wife to move to Colorado, in
spite of his protest. She’s studying for a third college degree, which she
could have pursued in New York State. Why should any court allow a divorced
parent to move so far away that child visitation by the parent left behind
is almost impossible?
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If Domenic visited him, John had to fly to Colorado, pick him up, bring him
back, and then return with him to Colorado. Three round trip tickets cost
$1,000 per visit. But the court would not allow him to deduct that from his
child support payments. That’s a third injustice.
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Fourth, he repeatedly filed for modifications of his child support level,
and was denied. He was assigned a public defender who told him, “John, just
pay the money. You’ll see your son when he is 18.”
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John has been paying $50 a month, which is skimpy. However, he estimates he has spent $60,000 in support of his son, but none of it counts in the
court’s eyes. In the last seven years, he flew out four times a year for
visits, and picked him up for vacations in New York twice a year.
“How many of those could I have traded away – and not lost our
relationship?” he asks.
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So he sits today in debtor’s prison, to call attention to the plight of
divorced parents denied regular access to their children. John told me
before going to jail that he would not eat or drink and would force the
prison to keep him alive with a feeding tube. For ten days the jail refused
to do so. His weight dropped from 155 pounds to 127. His blood pressure fell
to a dangerous level.
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Stories appeared in local newspapers, and a feeding tube was inserted. He
asserts, “This is not suicide wish or hunger strike. My goal is not to hurt
myself but to make them expend an uncomfortable amount of effort to keep me in custody.”
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There has to be a better answer and there is. It is called “shared
parenting,” or “joint custody,” which is granted in only 16 percent of
cases. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, “A
major advantage of joint custody may be its ability to address the high rate
of current father absence subsequent to divorce. Joint custody has been
correlated with increased father involvement.”
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Second, “Joint custody versus sole maternal custody was associated with
adolescent’s positive adjustment. Several studies found that increased and
reliable visitation by the noncustodial parent (usually the father)
predicted positive adjustment of children.”
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Feminists oppose joint custody on grounds that child support will be
reduced. However, “the consensus of studies” found that “child support is
either increased” or not significantly different. A fourth benefit is that
there is “decreased re-litigation” with shared parenting, and less conflict
between spouses in general.
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Thus, research proves what common sense would suggest. Shared parenting
results in greater father involvement, more financial support, less
litigation and happier children.
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David Levy, an attorney who is President of the Children’s Rights Council,
reports another great impact of joint custody. States with the greatest
amount of joint custody enjoyed a big drop in divorce rates. The six states
with the most joint custody are, in order, Montana, Kansas, Connecticut,
Idaho, Rhode Island, and Alaska. The states with the highest decline in
divorce in the 1990s were Alaska, Kansas, Connecticut, Illinois, Montana and
Idaho.
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Why?
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“If a parent knows that he or she will have to interact with the child’s
other parent while the child is growing up, there is less incentive to
divorce,” says Levy.
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Here’s a political issue for this political season.
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Candidates for governor or state legislatures: why not fight for more joint
custody to support kids and lower divorce rates?
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END TXT Copyright (c) 2006 Michael J. McManus
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Thanks Mike!
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Congratulations Dennis on one year of podcasting!
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I’d like to once again thank Dennis Gray at 101UsesForBabyWipes for allowing me to borrow some airtime.  Dennis, who is married with a young son, produces a popular podcast about parenting.  We recently chatted, this time about John Murtari, passive resister, and the continuing need for family law reform. EPISODE #147 (33 mins in)
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We first talked about family law reform last November. EPISODE #114 (19 mins in). I had no idea it was his 14th show and I was his first interview. What a pro.
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Dennis has also interviewed Dan Hogan, Executive Director of Fathers & Families and Karl Hindle, Emily’s Dad. I highly recommend his show. It’s a great mix of news for parents and music. (I love the Cake Withdrawal show with all the birthday greetings!)
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Congratulations on one year of podcasting!
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Thanks Dennis!
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Happy Birthday Evan!
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