Ask Gonzo
Well, actually, “Ask Amy…”
Every now and again I get someone saying “Gonz, did you read this bitch” to one of the many “Advice Columnists” out there. Usually, it’s not a big deal. This one pisses me off.
She is written:
Dear Amy: I am a single mom of two small children, one being an infant. A few months after I had my baby, my employer cut back on employee wages.
I basically had no choice but to quit because I didn’t make enough money to make up for paying for child care and gas. Shortly after, my ex was ordered to pay child support, but the amount he had to pay was based on the income from the job I no longer had.
When I contacted the agency to inform them of my unemployment, I was told that my ex would have to pay more if they recalculated the support payment.
In hopes of finding another job, I told them to leave things as they were.
Now, almost a year later, I have had no luck finding work — either there are not enough hours or the pay isn’t enough, plus I really enjoy staying at home with my baby, and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up yet. I am really struggling financially at this point.
My ex sees the kids maybe two hours a week, if that, and he doesn’t buy anything for them even if he knows it’s something they need. In his eyes that small amount of support he gives should pay for everything.
My question is, would it be wrong or selfish of me to have the child support recalculated?
— Unsure
Well, of course, Amy’s answer is predictably woman-firsting.
Well, Gonzo has a different answer.
Dear Unsure;
No, it wouldn’t be either wrong or selfish of you – it’d be both. Not to mention lazy and worthless.
So – let me get things straight – you quit a job for no income, rather than have some, and have fucked around on getting a job, Have turned down honest work, and think it’s your ex’s job to pay extra for money you are supposed to be in stewardship for for your children?
Two words, Unsure: Deadbeat Mom. Another Word: Parasite.
Here’s the black and white – you are unable to support your children. And unwilling to get a job. So the best thing to do would be to give custody to the person who does wotrk and can support them – which would be your ex. And if you don’t think of them first, and keep thinking of yourself (”I really enjoy staying at home with my baby, and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up yet.“) it makes you a bad mother.
Get a job. Or give up your kids. I’m sure, if you approach it right, you’ll be allowed to be the caregiver during the day; you’ll just have to surrender that control which you are probably a freak over, and the club with which to beat him with.
That is, if you think you can do at least that job.
Grow up. Being divorcing your ex – or not marrying him – says “I don’t need you.” If that isn’t the case, it’s time to suck it up, be the adult, and admit it. If you’re this “Strong and independent woman who doesn’t need a man” not attaching to his wallet like a remora is part of it.
| More from The Gonzman
Stumble It!
