Former Detainee Details American Torture Techniques
Former Abu Ghraib detainee Mouayad Yasin Hassan has come forward recently to talk about his time
in that controversial prison. Hassan was captured in Baghdad in 2004 and declared an “enemy combatant” by U.S. forces. Hassan claims that he was not able to contact a lawyer, assemble bombs or continue killing infidels for the entire year and a half of his imprisonment.
“It was horrible,” recalled a tearful Hassan. “The televisions in that hellhole only received basic cable, plus they were not of the flat-screen variety. What’s worse, they replayed a program called The View over and over and over. Why does that large woman feel the need to break into show-tunes at every opportunity?” Â
Lawyers for Hassan plan to sue the United States government over the ordeal.
“You just can’t get that time back,” said Hassan’s ACLU-appointed attorney Drab Futar. “We will be suing for back-bombings, inability to inflict pain and suffering and loss of employment. Mr. Hassan’s former organization could not hold his position open, so now he is in quite a bind. How do you explain away that eighteen-month gap on his resume? It’s very difficult.”
Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of "The Nose On Your Face" (www.TheNoseOnYourFace.com) which offers conservative, political satire. And fake news. And sometimes fake satire. At other times they provide satirical news. And fake political satire. Not to mention actual, real satire that is political in nature. And conservative. However, at no time do they offer Nutella. | More from Buckley F. Williams
Stumble It!
November 14th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
The ACLU requests that you make a correction on the spelling of the appointed attorney’s name or face the removal of all of you rights to religious expression.
The correct spelling is Fubar, not Futar.
May Darwin’s peace be upon you.
November 14th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
You had me going there for a minute. ROFL. Let’s get Leaky Leahy on the case!
November 14th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
LOL. Sadly true, sadly true. I was listening in a couple of weeks ago to one of these New York “lawyers” who represented these terrorists, who was protesting, in all seriousness, the sort of torture these terrorists were subjected to, to include, and he laid great emphasis on this, the occasional with-holding of mail (for several days!)
November 14th, 2006 at 5:19 pm
Withholding of mail? Ask any military person stationed oversaeas how long it takes to get their mail. The ACLU wants these animals treated better than the soldiers guarding them. Could we please reduce the number of prisoners taken, it would certainly help with the whole detainee issue.
November 14th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
The left is on the verge of rendering all satire meaningless.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Next we need Lyndie England to provide them with dominatrix services! And for Khalid Sheik Mohammed, he need not take any shower, we can waterboard him whenever he needs to get clean!
He should be feeling quite refreshed after that.
November 14th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Amen to all previous comments!:>)
November 16th, 2006 at 5:49 am
The left is on the verge of rendering all satire meaningless.
Case in point: Pelosi and the Dems are going to run the most ethical Congress in history.