OJ Simpson’s Hypothetical Cell Mate Writes Book About How He Would Hypothetically Rape Him
The shocking news that O.J. Simpson is going public with a book and interview about how he could have hypothetically killed Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman in 1995 has drawn scorn and revulsion from many who are convinced the former football star is benefitting financially from a murder he actually did commit.
And in another strange twist, TNOYF has learned that a prisoner at the California State Penetentiary, Cletis Tallywhacker, is penning a short novela about how he would have hypothetically raped O.J. Simpson if he had been his hypothetical cellmate.
Simpson’s Novel is titled If I Did It while Tallywhacker’s book is called If I Could Get Me Some Hall Of Fame Running Back Booty.
According to prison officials, Tallywhacker has long been obsessed with Simpson, and killed several other prisoners in rage when O.J. was acquitted and his hopes for intimacy with him were dashed. They are hoping that the book is an outlet.
“There’s no harm in our prisoners playing out their fantasies in writing,” said Prison Warden Hal Souder. “And I’m thrilled that Mr. Tallywhacker has accurately depicted our guards ignoring Mr. Simpson’s pleas for help. Hypothetically, of course.”
Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of The Nose On Your Face which offers “News so fake, you’ll swear it came from the mainstream media.â€
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Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of "The Nose On Your Face" (www.TheNoseOnYourFace.com) which offers conservative, political satire. And fake news. And sometimes fake satire. At other times they provide satirical news. And fake political satire. Not to mention actual, real satire that is political in nature. And conservative. However, at no time do they offer Nutella. | More from Buckley F. Williams
Stumble It!
November 17th, 2006 at 10:54 am
We can only hope we will see that book one day…
November 17th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
Holy smoke! I’m going to wake up from this whacky dream, I just know it!
THIS IS INSANITY.
But it’s a pretty good reflection of the increasingly psychotic soul of this suffering nation.
November 18th, 2006 at 1:26 am
So, has everyone bought a copy of Scott Peterson’s newest literary offering, “Wind and Tide Currents of San Francisco Bay”?
It should be on the top of your Christman list!
November 18th, 2006 at 5:55 am
I have to believe that we are near the tipping point for this sort of incomprehensible schlock. A pushback needs to occur. If not, then really the next logical step would have to be a live, sponsored, Greta Van Sustern hosted, reality rape & murder show.