Dear Dead Deer: One of Santa’s Best and Brightest a Victim of Bestiality
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As if the news is not already foul enough, a recent case in Wisconsin drags the bar a few notches lower.
Bryan James Hathaway, a 20-year-old Wisconsin man with an apparent out-of-control fondness for venison, has been charged with engaging a deer in an affair of the flesh. It’s called bestiality and is against the law, even in that liberal wasteland known as Wisconsin.
Hathaway, of course, has hired an attorney who is advancing a very unique defense: Because the deer in question was dead at the time, his lawyer argues, Hathaway should not face a misdemeanor rap of sexual gratification with an animal.
By the same warped logic, since the deer is unable to testify otherwise, it must be assumed that the sexual encounter was consensual!
Other relevant facts: The deer was about three years old in animal terms, making it 21 in human terms—clearly not a case of sex with a minor.
By the way, in case there was any question: Wisconsin is a blue state!
John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable! | More from John Lillpop
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November 18th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Dear oh dear. Life can be pretty lonely out there on the range. If only he’d taken the time to get to know the deer. Talk to it. A relationship with a corpse, even if it is dear to you, is a bit of a dead loss. Still maybe he saw a future in it more rewarding than modern boy/girl ones.
November 18th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
Or was it just a one night fling?
November 19th, 2006 at 3:52 am
No pregnancy, no deer support and no family financial rape….
What’s the problem ?
November 19th, 2006 at 8:49 am
By the same warped logic, since the deer is unable to testify otherwise, it must be assumed that the sexual encounter was consensual!
Living deer can’t talk (give consent), either. So all sex with doe’s is rape. Even by bucks. Any sex between a male and a female (of any species) is rape. Han’t you lerned up nuttin’ yet?
November 20th, 2006 at 8:19 am
The article fails to mention that this fellow was convicted of shooting his neighbors’ horse in order to have sex with it. A murdering bestial necrophiliac..can’t say I support the man in his endeavors. But, I gotta admit, he’s ummm…interesting. Wonder how the hell he ever got started on such weird stuff? I just know that somewhere, somehow, his dad caused it. Perhaps junior witnessed his dad “stuffing” the turkey before the dinner.
November 20th, 2006 at 10:01 am
I wish he’d tried it with a live bear, it would’ve made all of this moot.