Should Large-Sized Clothing Carry Tags With An Obesity Helpline Number?
From The Daily Telegraph:
LARGE-sized clothing should carry tags with an obesity helpline number, a British Medical Journal report has said.
The report, compiled by a group of public health professionals, has recommended the phone numbers be placed on tags on women’s garments sized 16 and above, and on those with a waist measurement of more than 100 centimetres for men.
This is an excellent idea, chubby women will be reminded they need help everytime they struggle to get into their designer jeans.
The large-sized jeans should also have a large sign in the rear end that reads: If you see me at McDonald’s or Burger King please call 800-FAT-COPS to report me.
Plus-size apparel should also be equipped with a gizmo that beeps everytime the rotund person backs up.
Instead of a cool designer logo, clothes for big people should have a trademark depicting Rosie O’Donnell munching on a hamburger.
And it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make all clothing for the horizontally-challenged in red only. That way we would see them coming from a distance, and be prepared to give them a wide berth.
Finally, pants for the obese should be rigged to emit a “farting” noise whenever the overweight individual bends over.
I’m just kidding. I’m just trying to show what a ridiculous idea the British came up with. Stout persons aren’t children, they don’t need clothing with a name tag, or with an obesity helpline number.
I write a weekly column for a small town newspaper in Virginia, and I also write for several Web sites. Please leave a comment or send me an email at: rreyes4966@aol.com | More from Robert Paul Reyes
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December 18th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Health professionals, eh?
Whenever I read something that contains a phrase like “health professionals,” “nutritional experts,” “relational counsellors,” “humanitarian groups,” “peace activists,” and “researchers from the University of …” I instinctively remember that I’d like a gun for Christmas.
December 18th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
I am so glad you were only kidding, I thought at first that you were a really cruel person! I agree that putting a phone number on anyone’s clothes would be unneccesary. I’m sure that they are well aware of their size, and putting that on their tags would be downright offensive!
December 19th, 2006 at 4:37 am
A person’s size is absolutely, positively, NONE of the government’s business!!!
Last time I checked, 100 centimeters is only 39 inches. Many men are larger than that, we still have pants stocked in the regular stores up to waist size 44 inches. Especially those of us who are over 6 feet. We can diet and work off the fat, and still have thigh muscle requiring us to wear loose fit pants of waist size 48 inches.
Sounds like the British Nanny State is making the Body Mass Index mistake of not telling the difference between fat and muscle.
They ever start digging coal again in Wales, they will have a bunch of Welshmen with waists over 100 centimeters, just from the muscle required to do such job! I wonder if the guys who work in warehouses and as longshoremen on the docks look like that?
I see ILWU types here in Seattle and they look like they have a BMI of 175 without one ounce of fat!
The regular stores used to stock pants up to waist size 50 inches, but I suspect that Levi Strauss, Dockers and other clothing manufacturers decided they can make more profit by forcing the big men to go to big and tall shops.
Now Wal*Mart, here is where you can use your vaunted purchasing power to force your suppliers to spread out the size range of their clothing lines to fit a larger portion of your customers.
They say you are evil. Fine, lets put some of that evil to good use!
December 19th, 2006 at 6:48 am
The Blah Governmant in Britain is exceptional at making up things to demean and control people. Last month it was civil servants teaching nursery rhymes to parents who didn’t know any. Next month it will introduce penis measurement. Those below 5 inches will get an extra inch from the Government when they fill out a 75 page form. 7 – 8 inchers will have an electronic collar around their ankles to see where they go, and above nine inches will get a peerage so everyone can peer at them. If you have one only 3 to 4 inches long, you get a seat on the back benches in the House of Commons; 2-3 inches, the front bench; no dick at all and you are in the Cabinet.