Was Narcissus a Narcissist?: The Ancient Myth and Dissociative Identity Disorder

2007-01-01
By

Author’s note: A sketch leading to this essay was published in Exquisite Corpse and that sketch appears elsewhere on my blog.

The ancient Greek myth of Narcissus — he who fell in love with his own reflection in a river and pined to death from unrequited love — has, of course, come down to us as a parable about vanity. His name is synonymous with conceit. However, I believe that there are other, equally plausible, modern interpretations of the meaning of Narcissus.

In the version of this tale described by Pausanias, Narcissus fell in love with an image HE DID NOT KNOW WAS HIMSELF. Believing he saw a “beautiful waterspirit,” he was disappointed because the loved one fled when he tried to kiss it/him. Thus, in this version of the myth, it was not love of self but a delusion of otherness that caused Narcissus to pine to death from what he imagined was unrequited love. Pausanias comments incredulously that, “it is utter stupidity to imagine that a man old enough to fall in love was incapable of distinguishing a man from a man’s reflection.”

Perhaps not. The failure to recognize oneself, or parts of oneself, is a symptom of several illnesses. In dissociative identity disorder — formerly known as multiple personality disorder — it is the defining symptom. This very rare mental illness is, of course, easily sensationalized and readily lends itself to drama. Most of the public is familiar with it through the Joan Woodward movie The Three Faces of Eve and the best-selling book and equally famous made-for-TV film starring Sally Field, Sybil.

According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Fourth Edition Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, “the essential feature of Dissociative Identity Disorder is the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently take control of behavior.” The sufferer’s conviction that her/his own personality states belong to another is strikingly akin to Narcissus’s belief that his reflection is another person.

Narcissus’s delusion of “otherness” may also be also analogous to physical illnesses of the autoimmune system in which the “biochemical substances in your blood that normally protect you from infection, attack a part of your body” because it “believes” those parts to be foreign. The fatal heartbreak which killed Narcissus could be seen as his soul’s “attack” upon a self which could not recognize itself.

The crisis of the Narcissus story as depicted in Ovid’s Metamorphoses, is diametrically opposed to that in the legend known to Pausanias. In Ovid’s masterpiece, Tiresias prophesies that, “if he but fail to recognize himself, a long life he may have.”

Even here, however, Narcissus fits the diagnosis of narcissist quite imperfectly. The diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder include a tendency to “exaggerate achievements and talents” and to “require excessive admiration,” as well as being “envious of others.” Ovid’s Narcissus does not exaggerate his own beauty but knows correctly that he is beautiful. Far from “requiring excessive admiration,” he is annoyed by the admiration he gets. Knowing himself so loved and admired, he is hardly “envious of others.”

Narcissus does meet one of the diagnostic criterion for narcissism. He certainly “lacks empathy for others,” as shown by his cold rejection of Echo. She “strives to wind her arms around his neck. He flies from her and as he leaves her says “Take off your hands! you shall not fold your arms around me. Better death than such a one should ever caress me!” Similarly cruel rebuffs of other suitors of both sexes lead Nemesis to put the curse on him which causes him to fall in love with his own reflection.

At his moment of epiphany, Ovid’s Narcissus recognizes himself, telling himself that, “this that holds your eyes is nothing save the image of yourself reflected back to you.” This knowledge plunges him deep into despair for Narcissus cannot be content with admiring himself, hugging and touching his own body, and masturbating while viewing his own loveliness. He wants that special sense of intimacy that comes from loving and being loved by another.

Pausinias knew the tragedy of Narcissus as stemming from a crazy kind of ignorance; Ovid described it as the fruit of sad self-knowledge. However, neither depicted with exactitude what we now call a “narcissist.”

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  • http://lovability.org amfortas

    If only we could know ourselves simply by looking in a mirror. That is part of the delusion. It was the rejection of Echo that was his undoing as we need another person to see those aspects of our selves that we cannot see. Its a bit like seeing behind one’s own ears.

    The purpose of life is to know one’s self, our soul. The soul is a landscape and our vantage point allows us sight of just a part. We need a trusted and loved ‘other’ to show us things that we cannot see unaided. And our vista needs to be shared.

    It is more easily explained diagrammatically using a JoHari Window. Easy to see but I will try to explain. Draw a square with a vertical and a horizontal line across the centre. These are cursers; they can be moved left and right, up and down.

    Label to top of the square ‘What I know about me. Label the left side ‘What you know about me’. Each has a + and a – for knowing and not knowing. So along the top there is a plus on the left and a minus on the right. At the side the plus is above the cursor, the minus below.

    Here’s the trick. I can move my vertical cursor but you move my horizontal one.

    We now have four size changable sections. Top Left – knowledge of me common to both of us. Top Right – My blind spots, I can’t see them but you can. Bottom left – my secrets: I know them but you don’t. Bottom right, totally unknown to either of us.

    When we are born, the cursors are at the top and left so the whole square shows that I don’t know anything about me and neither do you. I am totally unknown. The cursors are moved as life progresses. At the end of life, to win the game of life, the cursors have to be fully at the bottom and the right, instead of top and left.

    To know myself fully, I have to rely on ‘another’ to move the horizontal cursor, show me to myself. But I can prevent that if I choose. I can not-let them move the horizontal cursor beyong my comfort point and therefore have them know me more fully, but at the cost of not knowing myself. It happens epiphenominally.

    The trusted and loved ‘other’ is usually a parent, at first, later a chosen opposite sex partner.

    If I prevent them from lowering the cursor so that they cannot access the lower left section, there will always be an area of the square, lower right, that remains unknown even to me. I do this by being secretive.

    On ‘my’ left side of the square there are things I don’t want them to know about me, things that I do know. I keep secrets. I stop the cursor descending. I do this because I fear rejection or betrayal. If they knew what I know about me, I fear that they would reject me or betray me. I have to trust them Completely. I have to rely upon them loving me. But I don’t.

    Now, you reading this, fill in the character of the person and how they respond to another. Its relatively easy.

    The ‘dissociated’ ‘other’ self, the contents of the bottom right box, isn’t another ‘personality’ at all, as many pseudopsychobabblers imagine, but simply a scary unknown, a part of ourselves that is never allowed to get out to see the light of day. So it forces its way through, seemingly independantly.

    The Narcissist is desperately seeking someone to fully trust. With that other someone, trusted, loving, we can know the full four dimensionality of ourselves, rather than be stuck with only a part, a two dimensional image instead of the real thing.

  • http://lovability.org amfortas

    If only we could know ourselves simply by looking in a mirror. That is part of the delusion. It was the rejection of Echo that was his undoing as we need another person to see those aspects of our selves that we cannot see. Its a bit like seeing behind one’s own ears.

    The purpose of life is to know one’s self, our soul. The soul is a landscape and our vantage point allows us sight of just a part. We need a trusted and loved ‘other’ to show us things that we cannot see unaided. And our vista needs to be shared.

    It is more easily explained diagrammatically using a JoHari Window. Easy to see but I will try to explain. Draw a square with a vertical and a horizontal line across the centre. These are cursers; they can be moved left and right, up and down.

    Label to top of the square ‘What I know about me. Label the left side ‘What you know about me’. Each has a + and a – for knowing and not knowing. So along the top there is a plus on the left and a minus on the right. At the side the plus is above the cursor, the minus below.

    Here’s the trick. I can move my vertical cursor but you move my horizontal one.

    We now have four size changable sections. Top Left – knowledge of me common to both of us. Top Right – My blind spots, I can’t see them but you can. Bottom left – my secrets: I know them but you don’t. Bottom right, totally unknown to either of us.

    When we are born, the cursors are at the top and left so the whole square shows that I don’t know anything about me and neither do you. I am totally unknown. The cursors are moved as life progresses. At the end of life, to win the game of life, the cursors have to be fully at the bottom and the right, instead of top and left.

    To know myself fully, I have to rely on ‘another’ to move the horizontal cursor, show me to myself. But I can prevent that if I choose. I can not-let them move the horizontal cursor beyong my comfort point and therefore have them know me more fully, but at the cost of not knowing myself. It happens epiphenominally.

    The trusted and loved ‘other’ is usually a parent, at first, later a chosen opposite sex partner.

    If I prevent them from lowering the cursor so that they cannot access the lower left section, there will always be an area of the square, lower right, that remains unknown even to me. I do this by being secretive.

    On ‘my’ left side of the square there are things I don’t want them to know about me, things that I do know. I keep secrets. I stop the cursor descending. I do this because I fear rejection or betrayal. If they knew what I know about me, I fear that they would reject me or betray me. I have to trust them Completely. I have to rely upon them loving me. But I don’t.

    Now, you reading this, fill in the character of the person and how they respond to another. Its relatively easy.

    The ‘dissociated’ ‘other’ self, the contents of the bottom right box, isn’t another ‘personality’ at all, as many pseudopsychobabblers imagine, but simply a scary unknown, a part of ourselves that is never allowed to get out to see the light of day. So it forces its way through, seemingly independantly.

    The Narcissist is desperately seeking someone to fully trust. With that other someone, trusted, loving, we can know the full four dimensionality of ourselves, rather than be stuck with only a part, a two dimensional image instead of the real thing.

  • http://lovability.org amfortas

    If only we could know ourselves simply by looking in a mirror. That is part of the delusion. It was the rejection of Echo that was his undoing as we need another person to see those aspects of our selves that we cannot see. Its a bit like seeing behind one’s own ears.

    The purpose of life is to know one’s self, our soul. The soul is a landscape and our vantage point allows us sight of just a part. We need a trusted and loved ‘other’ to show us things that we cannot see unaided. And our vista needs to be shared.

    It is more easily explained diagrammatically using a JoHari Window. Easy to see but I will try to explain. Draw a square with a vertical and a horizontal line across the centre. These are cursers; they can be moved left and right, up and down.

    Label to top of the square ‘What I know about me. Label the left side ‘What you know about me’. Each has a + and a – for knowing and not knowing. So along the top there is a plus on the left and a minus on the right. At the side the plus is above the cursor, the minus below.

    Here’s the trick. I can move my vertical cursor but you move my horizontal one.

    We now have four size changable sections. Top Left – knowledge of me common to both of us. Top Right – My blind spots, I can’t see them but you can. Bottom left – my secrets: I know them but you don’t. Bottom right, totally unknown to either of us.

    When we are born, the cursors are at the top and left so the whole square shows that I don’t know anything about me and neither do you. I am totally unknown. The cursors are moved as life progresses. At the end of life, to win the game of life, the cursors have to be fully at the bottom and the right, instead of top and left.

    To know myself fully, I have to rely on ‘another’ to move the horizontal cursor, show me to myself. But I can prevent that if I choose. I can not-let them move the horizontal cursor beyong my comfort point and therefore have them know me more fully, but at the cost of not knowing myself. It happens epiphenominally.

    The trusted and loved ‘other’ is usually a parent, at first, later a chosen opposite sex partner.

    If I prevent them from lowering the cursor so that they cannot access the lower left section, there will always be an area of the square, lower right, that remains unknown even to me. I do this by being secretive.

    On ‘my’ left side of the square there are things I don’t want them to know about me, things that I do know. I keep secrets. I stop the cursor descending. I do this because I fear rejection or betrayal. If they knew what I know about me, I fear that they would reject me or betray me. I have to trust them Completely. I have to rely upon them loving me. But I don’t.

    Now, you reading this, fill in the character of the person and how they respond to another. Its relatively easy.

    The ‘dissociated’ ‘other’ self, the contents of the bottom right box, isn’t another ‘personality’ at all, as many pseudopsychobabblers imagine, but simply a scary unknown, a part of ourselves that is never allowed to get out to see the light of day. So it forces its way through, seemingly independantly.

    The Narcissist is desperately seeking someone to fully trust. With that other someone, trusted, loving, we can know the full four dimensionality of ourselves, rather than be stuck with only a part, a two dimensional image instead of the real thing.

  • chas

    The only way to a woman’s heart is to agree with her about how wonderful she is.

  • chas

    The only way to a woman’s heart is to agree with her about how wonderful she is.

  • chas

    The only way to a woman’s heart is to agree with her about how wonderful she is.






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