After a night of panty-less debauchery Britney Spears collapsed at the SkankPalace nightclub. An ambulance dispatched the pop diva to the Mary Magdalene Medical Center.
A spokesperson for the pop diva explained:
Ms Spears has been working real hard on her new album, and we thought it prudent to call for an ambulance to take her to Mary Magdalene hospital where she can rest in peace and privacy.
The paramedics didn’t realize that their patient was the world famous pop princess, until the slit in her dress exposed her vagina in all its bald glory.
Paramedic Tony Jackson gushed to CNN:
Ohmygawd! I instantly recognized Britney’s vagina. Dude, her private parts are all over my computer desktop!
Britney was unable to relax in the hospital bed, until an orderly hooked her up to an I.V. filled with Jack Daniels. That relaxed her a bit, but she was still tossing and turning.
Finally and E.R. doctor located a chair used for gynecological exams, and Britney immediately fell asleep with her legs splayed wide open.
Mary Magdalene Medical Center issued this press release:
Ms. Spears is wide open to our treatment; she is doing great and will soon be released.
