Can Women Have “Real Friends” Anymore?
I’d like to take a little time out from talking about global current events and other political goings-on to make one little observation that’s slowly becoming a full-fledged domestic annoyance — It’s becoming painfully obvious that women can’t be friends with each other anymore.
Sure there are still some out there, and if you’re a woman and has a friend who has never used what you thought was a friendship in order to simply sell you something, embrace the relationship as a rare treat.
It’s a sad thing really. The days of women getting together for a cup of tea, chats about how the kids are doing in school and the innocent swapping of recipes are almost over. Sure, women still do those things, but now you can be pretty sure that if a woman wants to get together with another woman it’s with one purpose in mind: to sell her something she probably doesn’t need but will feel obligated to buy or risk losing the “friendship.”
Nowadays, the schools are even on board, and are turning kids away from being students, and toward being door-to-door salespeople. The parents usually pick up the ball and run with it, taking the catalog to their place of business and expecting everybody at work to turn their kid into “Salesperson of the year” at Johnsonville Elementary.
What a mixed message — We instruct our kids, “Don’t to talk to strangers”, but then financially desperate educators come around and add the caveat, “Unless you’re peddling cookie dough and magazines.”
There is respite, however. There is one group of women who have refused to cave into this “selling your soul for ten bucks” mentality, and they are lesbians.
I have yet to see a lesbian selling Avon, rubber stamps, photo albums, cookies, scarves, or anything else. They can have real friends. Lesbians can still get together for a cup of coffee, discuss how to achieve the ultimate Mullet haircut, catch an episode of “Ellen” in syndication, clean-and-jerk the lawn tractor, and spend the rest of the evening pleasuring each other with kitchen appliances and by the end of it all, still not made one single sales pitch. I respect that.
I’m sure it will happen eventually, and it will be all downhill for the lesbian population once it does. Mark my words lesbians, someday you’ll all be sitting around, thanking God that you’re the last group of women to still have true friends, and just then somebody will whip out a catalog, announce the new line of Martina Navratilova dildo’s, and ask you to RSVP to her “Vibin’ Up” party next week.
I personally like the opposite sales technique. The one which is practiced by the women whose sales experience until that day consisted of posting “Bingo Tonight” signs on telephone poles. They have the sales approach of a one-legged prostitute with too much facial hair and bad teeth, “You probably don’t want this, but…” These are the ladies who are essentially Willy Loman in a skirt and pumps, and who more often than not felt pressured into peddling stuff to their friends in an effort to recover some of the losses incurred after buying all the junk their friends sold them.
It must be incredibly frustrating to be a woman in this day and age. If another woman wants to be your friend, it’s because she only wants to sell you something, and if a man wants to be your friend, he wants sex. If I were a woman, I’d end up a hopeless recluse — spending my days and nights out of human contact, save for my trusted, loyal dog, who would be playfully running around the living room, jumping on my lap, and licking my face as I scratch him behind the ears. He’d be my only true friend.
Then he’d whip out an Amway catalog.
———-
Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com
| More from Doug Powers
Stumble It!
January 8th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Lose Weight Now Ask Me How?
Ask For a Free Makover?
Pampered Chef?
Avon Calling…
There is a theme to these ads for the junk women sell each other. They make you fat and ugly, or correct the years of getting fat and ugly.
Seriously, feminism has manifested in womens lowered ability to have the kinds of deep and sincere friendships the (allegedly) long for. Any man who has or had a nagging and controlling wife (those terms REALLY mean something more then old stand up comedy routines used to portray)can imagine 2 of those women trying to get along with each other. Unless they are prepared to totally change the M.O., there isnt a chance in hell they can get along. Most women will agree that they have an easier time getting along w/ men. Can it be that difficult then, gals, to imagine that men have been putting up with the same crap that other gals will not, because , well, we gotta? Or do you treat men completely differently than you do women?
If not, ask yourselves then why you get along better w/ men while acting the same as you do w/ the women who cant stand you.
January 8th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
“I have yet to see a lesbian selling Avon, rubber stamps,……” Gee whiz, I have seen some edifices built on shifting sands but this one has to get a prize. Doug, are you having a bad day, my otherwise carefully crafting intelligent friend? Come over and have a cuppa with me. Better still, a beer ot three.
How about turning your hand to writing a bit of fiction. (Ohh, you have already). Well, try the lesbian Avon Lady who seduces a stay-at-home-mum with down-under lipstick. Call it, ‘Put a smile on’ or ‘Have I got something different for You’. It could at least be erotic. You know you have the talent.
January 8th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
[...] I know Norbizness is just going to show up and make fun of me for paying more attention to MND, but they have quite the comic treasure in Doug Powers, who also has a column at WND which places him along side such luminaries as Chuch Norris and that guy who writes the unintentionally hilarious options for their polls, plus he claims to have worked on laugh.com, which is very prestigious, or at least vaguely associated with George Carlin, so who are we to ignore him? Besides, he is pretty funny! I’d like to take a little time out from talking about global current events and other political goings-on to make one little observation that’s slowly becoming a full-fledged domestic annoyance — It’s becoming painfully obvious that women can’t be friends with each other anymore. [...]
January 9th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Okay, I’m convinced now that Doug Powers is one of the only men on the entire earth that truly understands women.
What a great piece Doug. You have very eloquently and with tremendous insite, warmed this woman’s heart, and probably every woman that has read this with great hope.
You are so right Doug. MY last true “girlfriend” was when I was eleven years old. She remains today probably the ONLY girlfriend that truly likes me.
All girls look on each other as competition, it’s half genetic, and half from all the conditioning, and it SUCKS. No, it’s worse than that—it HURTS!
Also, it’s gets real hard with guys, when you are talking to them about something seriuous (business or whatever) and they are not listening to a word you say. You could be giving them the cure to cancer, and they would be thinking about sex.
It’s not that they can help it….but it can be frustrating in business. VERY.
I so envy the comaraderie of men. And women will be the first to turn on you. And when women get together they talk about such meaningless things. Like, “I’m having a tupperware party.”
Great, I don’t do tupperware, but if you want to come over and discuss the future of stem cell research and where it might lead,…(oh sure)
They hate me.
Time and time again, you long for the freindship of your own sex, and if you are halfway “pretty” they will take one look at you, and you are doomed. “Pretty” does not go down well with smart.(Unless you just report the news)
Look how much trouble Ann Coulter has gotten.
My best friends have always been men. I adore them.
God…see what you did to me? This sounds like dear ABBY! That’s what you get for striking such a nerve.
Anyway, I never thought I’d read such a piece, anywhere, EVER…but then again, I’m not surprised it was you that wrote it.
I loved it Doug. Of course, I’m a woman so that’s explains it. (Sorry guys, he is right)
And yes, I am that recluse woman, with two trusted dogs, and four parakeets.
Oh, I do have one new “rat” outside, who must be a man, because I can’t get rid of him.
If it was a woman, she would have already bit me.
January 9th, 2007 at 3:01 am
A Key Reason why American Women can’t be friends with each other is because Feminism has taught them to act like Men and to be competitors against each other.
But the deeper reason lies in the fact that a Woman loses her innate identity and innate power when she does this. I call this her “Invisible Power” and I wrote up an article based on this that you can check out here.
http://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/11/26/how-feminism-degrades-a-woman%e2%80%99s-body-and-soul-part-2/
January 9th, 2007 at 5:54 am
Feminism hasn’t taught women to act like men, galactilove. It has encouraged the darkest side of women to come out. It is no use trying to claim that the behaviour that women are so apt to display these days has any resemblance to masculine behaviour. That’s just a sneaky way to blame men. Again.
January 9th, 2007 at 6:08 am
Doug, you’re exactly right. This is why women love gay men. They don’t feel pressured to buy anything (or give anything). Normal women should really hate feminists for causing this.
January 9th, 2007 at 10:57 am
I have had the same 2 ‘best girlfriends’ for 23 years, I have been blessed with these frienships.
They are rare. My 2 cent is that, I ‘know’ what females are capable of, I struggle daily with my ‘dark’ side. Females don’t trust each other. It’s hard to tell the good from the bad. Unfortunately you can’t tell the bad til you have a knife sticking out your back.
January 9th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
None of my women friends have tried to sell me anything for all the years I can remember.
Teri