Nancy Pelosi, Queen of Hubris

The women’s libbers have been saying for years that once the Matriarchy came into power, the maternal instinct would prevail and we would become beneficiaries of a kinder, gentler society. With the naming of Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House of Representatives, we can now put that claim to the test.
 

The reconvening of Congress is generally a low-key affair held on a dreary Washington winter afternoon. But last week the Democrats decided to take advantage of the occasion to shed Pelosi’s dowdy image as San Fran Nan, reestablish her moral authority as a mother, and re-invent her as a political celebrity.
 

One media account cast the 4-day extravaganza as a Hollywood re-staging of Charlton Heston descending from the mount to seek the deliverance of his Chosen People:
 

“The whirlwind agenda, from Jan. 2 to Jan. 5, can be broken down into several themes: The early years in the life of Nancy D’Alesandro Pelosi in her hometown of Baltimore, about an hour north of Washington; her college years in Washington; her Italian roots; her devotion to San Francisco; her official duties as speaker of the 435-member House, combined with her job as a Democratic Party fundraiser, and her awareness that her ascension to the post represents a breakthrough for American women.” [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/12/16/MNGLIN0UP91.DTL]
 

On Tuesday things went pretty much according to plan. Pelosi confidently posed for the photo-ops as she visited her old Baltimore hang-outs, where she had grown up as the daughter of former mayor Thomas D’Alesandro.
 

The next day, however, a different image emerged. Feted at a Women’s Tea-turned-power-rally, Pelosi crowed, “In more than 200 years of history, there was an established pecking order – and I cut in line.” (Translation: “Sure, I played dirty, but the evil Patriarchy made me do it.”)
 

Then the estrogen reflex took over. Proclaiming herself “the most powerful woman in America,” Pelosi bent her arm like a weight-lifter. Then she screamed to the ecstatic ladies clutching their teacup saucers, “All right, let’s hear it for the power.”
 

Memo to staff: That comment was off-script. The event wasn’t supposed to come across as Xena the Warrior-Princess Comes to Washington.
 

The script for Thursday was crafted to soften Nancy’s pro-abortion voting record. After all, partial-birth abortions don’t fit with the cultivated image of tender motherhood. So she and multi-millionaire husband Paul started off the day by going to a prayer service at a nearby Catholic church.
 

But then a bunch of disgruntled extras showed up carrying signs that read, “You can’t be a Catholic and pro-abortion.” Someone be sure to switch the camera angle.
 

At noon things the Nancy-fest swung into high gear with the swearing-in at the House of Representatives. Once the vote tally was announced, Mrs. Pelosi ascended the Speaker’s podium with six grandchildren in tow. ABC news anchor Charles Gibson gushed, “It seemed the ultimate in multi-tasking: Taking care of the children and the country.”
 

The emotional high point of the coronation – er, ceremony – came during remarks on her selection as the first female Speaker of the House: “Never losing faith, we worked to redeem the promise of America, that all men and women are created equal. For our daughters and granddaughters, today we have broken the marble ceiling.”
 

At that moment the camera revealed an impassioned and wildly-gesturing Pelosi surrounded by her five grandsons and one granddaughter. Not only was the gender mix completely out of whack, but worse, her granddaughter was seen gently cradling Nancy’s six-week old grandson. Right there on national TV.
 

Then the long-awaited moment – the newly-named Speaker of the House curled her fist and flexed her right bicep, he-man style. All that was missing was a halter top, G-string, and body oil.
 

Atta-girl, Nancy!
 

The festivities wrapped up on Friday with more toasts and macho arm-flexes. Portraying herself as the dutiful Catholic homemaker who decided to clean up the House, Pelosi thanked her family for helping her move “from the kitchen to the Congress.”
 

And daughter Alexandra performed admirably as best supporting actress, revealing her hard-charging mom had once made Halloween costumes by hand and hosted birthday parties where children built life-size gingerbread houses. Amazing, but true.
 

We can all take quiet comfort in the events of last week.
 

We know a Real Mom will be minding the House for the next couple years. We see that Nancy’s hard right-left combination knocked the wind out of Hillary, leaving her gasping for air as America’s second most powerful woman. And from now on, we’ll hopefully be spared from those vain and boastful male politicians who engage in their power-hungry antics.