The NFL Disses Britney Spears
From MSNBC News Services:
An appearance in a Super Bowl commercial would have been a major showcase for a disgraced pop star eager to make a comeback.
Some folks were predicting the coming of the Apocalypse after Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction in 2004. Imagine what hysteria would erupt if Britney flashes her vagina anytime during the Super Bowl festivities. The image conscious NFL doesn’t want anything to do with the pantyless bimbo; it doesn’t want to be responsible for setting off riots.
I love the NFL’s explanation for turning down the scandalous pop tart: “Besides, we already have Paris Hilton.” That’s like a network turning down Roseanne Barr to host a talk show because she’s too loud and obnoxious, with the explanation: Besides, we’re already negotiating with Rosie O’Donnell.
Britney Spears might be welcome at a gynecologists’ convention, but the NFL would be more comfortable with Charles Manson hanging out with L.L. Cool J and the gang.
I write a weekly column for a small town newspaper in Virginia, and I also write for several Web sites. Please leave a comment or send me an email at: rreyes4966@aol.com | More from Robert Paul Reyes
Stumble It!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:07 am
It didn’t take you too long to come up with another essay about Britney, did it?
Lol, she was rejected… that must have been another hit to her ego. Pretty soon she is going to start thinking that maybe she is not “all that”!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:41 am
The term “pop tart” makes me hungry!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:48 am
Me too! I want to eat Brit, I mean eat a Kellogg’s Pop Tart.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:51 am
…. or both, lol!
January 17th, 2007 at 5:16 am
I think we just ruined everyone’s appetite for breakfast.
January 17th, 2007 at 7:10 am
Dammit! Robert… I’ll never look at a pop tart the same way again….
TMOTS
January 17th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Ahhhhhh, the sheer POWER of the vagina!
You guys are hooked. Brittany, knows that even intelligent men cannot get their wired minds off that pure visual shot.
She has conquered all of you….in less than a minute.
I’m am SO glad that the vision of a penis does not take over the “woman’s” mind, breaking up brain synapses, causing hours of visual wasteful deserts of sexual excitement.
Not that sex isn’t a good thing…but, tell me, how many of you guys actually think you are going to get into that box of goodies?
I bet every one…HA! I’m SO glad I’m not a man.
She is the pop tart, you are the toasters.
Now you know why the feminists say “burn baby burn.”
January 17th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I don’t care where your from, Joyanna’s post is darn funny!
But Joyanna, you know if Mel Gibson was wearing a kilt, you may attempt a wee peek at the little fella…
Meanwhile, nevermind the North Koreans have No Dong.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Joyanna, I strongly disagree with you! One peek at Britney’s goodies did not succeed in conquering me. Damn, you really made me mad! You messed up my mind so much. I will try to forget what you said, and continue with the Britney research for my next Britney essay.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Hmmm, I don’t know, the sight of a man’s penis to me is a little exciting, lol! But probably not in the same way as men are aroused by woman’s body parts
January 17th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I believe we need to take notes about the whole Britney affair. Let’s remind us, she was created by mass-media in the hope of becoming a Pop-Star. She’s artificial all over.
Now, she’s litteraly self destructing. I would love to see the impact she will made on the very mass-media that created her. The crater will be fun to visit.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Sorry to say Joyanna (actually I am not…) but I haven’t even seen a pic of her cooch.. or is that couch yet… and don’t plan on it in the forseeable future either.
TMOTS
January 17th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Joyanna
If Mel Gibson had exposed himself, under a kilt, he would have been arrested. Most of us can cruise through, say Safeway, and realize that most of the Vaginas passing by would not “do it”for us… Britiny looked terrible, bad lighting, bad angle, looked, well, distorted.
She should have quit while the rest of us gave her the benefit of the doubt, now that we know… yuk, … some men starving will eat out of a dumpster, the rest of us have better taste, don’t lump us all together, Joyanna, … SD
January 18th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
“She’s too much of a train wreck. Besides, we already have Paris Hilton”
You mean the same Miss Hilton of the infamous sex tape, who changes boyfriends faster than an 8th grade head cheerleader? And who, in the opinion of many, is more of a slag than Britney will ever be (who, btw was probably trying to live up to Paris’ expections when she did the crotch shots – she was hanging out with HER at the time). What’s up with the choirboy NFL?
January 18th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Hey guys, thanks for letting me have fun! Now, If I saw Mel Gibson..exposed…I swear, I would still look at his face. Then I’d turn red and cover my eyes. I WOULD NOT LOOK!
I would too scared.
Which is not logical, but then, any of you that have read me…know that sometimes I’m like that.
And Robert!…don’t be mad at me! I said something really nice about you in my “Bindi” piece…check it out!
Why, I adore ALL men, and in the words of ZZ top….I’m a sucker for
“Every girl’s crazy bout a sharp dressed man.”
Actually, I love REALLY love men with brains. That’s the top of the list, I mean, I had a crush for years on Tom Baker for God’s sake. When I finally met him, I couldn’t talk. He talked to me for 30 minutes and I couldn’t tell you what he said.
I had to drunk just to go up to him. Oh my God..this means I let my libido overtake my logic!
I was acting just like Robert!
Nooooo never. Obviously,he stunned me with his sonic screwdriver.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Joyanna proves a point. “I swear, I would still look at his face. Then I’d turn red and cover my eyes. I WOULD NOT LOOK!”
The sight of a man’s penis causes severe trauma. Mental scarring and PTSD. Old women faint, young girls scream, dogs howl, ice cream vendors lose control of their trucks which go crashing down the road running over prams. No wonder its illegal. Mel in his flip-kilt would be arrested and sure as hell wouldn’t get off by apologising to any passing Rabbi.
It is different for women. It is said that the cheering from the Stadium when Janet flashed her boob was heard across the Atlantic. They can – and do – flash pretty well everything they have at the click of a camera shutter.
I remain untraumatised, like TMOTS. I haven’t seen Britany’s privates either. But I do not succumb to randomised fear, Joyanna. I fear nothing. I am a man! I would look.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:43 am
Guys, I bet this has a marketing angle to it. Her agent probably has an “in” with some CEO at Time Warner cable and has been told that “smell-a-vision” is right around the corner and is an add on to HDTV…
January 19th, 2007 at 2:18 am
Joyanna to Mel Gibson: Is that a gun under your kilt, or are you just happy to see me?
Mel Gibson: Why do you want to know, are you a Jew? It’s a bottle of Jack Daniels! Are you sure you aren’t a Jew?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Amfortas wrote:
“I remain untraumatised, like TMOTS. I haven’t seen Britany’s privates either.”
What a coincidence, the only two men in the Western world who haven’t seen Brit’s coochie are fans of MND
January 19th, 2007 at 2:32 am
After getting divorced Britney has: Puked on her latest boy toy; passed out drunk in a nightclub, exposed her nether regions and become best pals with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, the two biggest skanks in Hollyweird.
My God, what’s left to do? #1 and #2 in public?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:58 am
She could become an Episcopalian vicarette, Robert, then when she does the #2 you could write an article titled ‘Holy Sh*t’.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:04 am
And if she does #1 in public, my essay would be entitled: Britney Pisses Everyone Off With Her Latest Antic