David Brooks is absolutely correct when he writes “But they never quite marry, or if they do, the marriage falls apart, with horrible consequences for their children. This is the real force behind the rise of women without men.” (“The Elusive Altar,” 1/18/07, NYTimes).
Unlike the NYTimes analyses to which he responded, and which were shredded as ideological trash in less than 48 hours (Michael Medved, “Journalistic Malpractice in ‘Marriage is Dead’ Report,” www.Townhall.com, 1/18/07) Brooks writes from a solid empirical base — approximately 37% of children born today are born to women not currently married, 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 85% of mothers receive physical custody, and between 67% and 93% of divorces are initiated by wives for the simple reason that they get all the marbles in divorce: children, child support, alimony, and a walking ATM machine (a.k.a. ex-husband) who on occasion “visits” — but does not parent — the children.
So, all this brings us to the question: Should children grow up in the company of men?
While the NYTimes thinks not, the children of divorce think so. In now more than a half dozen empirical research studies, young adult children of divorce report that they missed their fathers when they were growing up and in one study 70% wanted equal shared parenting while most of the remaining 30% wanted something close to it.
In short, while the self-absorbed women of the NYTimes may not miss men, their children do, and — on this matter — the voices of the children of divorce and the never married should prevail over the self-absorbed voices of the women David Brooks so articulately derides.
Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Florida International University in Miami.
