As of today, two of the biggest panic-inducers for the theory of man-made global warming are Al Gore and Nancy Pelosi.

If we don’t do something, and now, we’re doomed. Forget about that coming ice age you heard about in elementary school — this time the wannabe scientists, and just plain “scientists” are right. We know this because they tell us so. Forget for a moment one of my new favorite quote, which is in William F. Buckley’s book “Miles Gone By,” and cited a writer for National Review back in the 50’s whose name escapes me, who wrote, “Scientists are often people who first build, and then buy, the Brooklyn Bridge.”

When discussing human-induced global warming, many detractors of the theory often point out the hypocrisy that we often see in those who spread the fear of environmental catastrophe if we don’t dramatically but back on fossil fuel emissions.

The hypocrisy is there, to be sure. You know Al Gore’s story on global warming. We made it through the eight years Gore was actually in a position of power where he could do something about this, but instead got nothing but Al’s wife, Tipper, going around slapping warning labels on everything except where they really belonged — on Gore’s boss’s pants.

Gore says he believes that global warming is a threat greater than terrorism, but doesn’t dump his family’s large stock holdings in Occidental Petroleum or sell one or more of those homes; a 10,000-square-foot, 20-room, eight-bathroom (”yes, but they’re ‘econo-flush toilets”) home in Nashville, and a 4,000-square-foot home in Arlington, Va., and a third place in Carthage, Tenn. Gore’s self-described “carbon neutral” lifestyle also includes a private jet to fly around promoting his film “An Inconvenient Truth.” God help us if Al Gore falls off the “carbon neutral” wagon — he’ll suck up more energy than a black hole full of Oreck vacuums and the rest of us will be reading his apocalyptic warnings by candlelight.

Then there’s Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House who pledged last month to stop global warming. Pelosi has said that she needs a personal shuttle — A private Boeing 757 to be exact — to go between Washington, DC and her home in California, which would cost John Q. Taxpayer $300,000 a pop. Oddly enough, one of Pelosi’s top contributors is Occidental Petroleum. The last time I checked, Occidental hadn’t forgone the oil biz to go into Tofu peddling and hybrid vehicle manufacturing.

I’m not writing this as much to dispute what Gore, Pelosi, et al, are saying as much as to offer them advice that is well known in the advertising community: If you’re pitching Nike on a daily basis don’t get caught wearing Adidas — especially Adidas that burn energy at a furious pace but never get anywhere, like Michael Moore trying to do a sit-up.

Could it be that these people aren’t willing to give up their hog-wild-users-of-energy lifestyles because they know their “theory” is full of more crap than a Woodstock Port-O-San?

There’s one certainty about politicians and other egomaniacs: They value their own skins above all else. That’s why they’re always the first into the bunker when the siren sounds — a bunker built with your money but that you’ll never gain access to. If these people believed there was indeed any truth to their dire warnings and that all our lives were in danger, they might be at least a little more inclined to walk the talk.

If Gore, Pelosi and the rest really do believe in what they’re saying, then they’re resting the hope of saving civilization on controlling what the rest of us do, and history books will ironically record that those who were the most vocal about saving the drowning planet were the very people throwing it anvils. Either way, they come off looking like asses. But what else would we expect from the party of the donkey?

The energy-crazed lifestyles led by proponents of the global warming theory is the worst enemy to their cause, and is the best indicator yet that this “danger” is agenda, and not fact, driven.

By the way, we often hear, “We need to…” It’s important to remember the definition of the word “we” in the liberal dictionary:

We: (pronounced “wee”). Plural pronoun meaning “everybody but me.”

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