The V-Day movement is an international campaign to raise awareness of violence against women. In the process, it demonizes men by portraying them as potential rapists and abusers and women as helpless victims.
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In a 2005 survey of 2,500 University of Florida and University of South Carolina students, 22% reported being victims of physical assaults by their dates. Of those who had experienced incidents of partner violence, 32% of women reported being the perpetrators. Only 24% of the men did. In cases of psychological abuse such as belittling a partner or preventing him/her from seeing family and friends, 57% of women reported being the perpetrator compared to 50% of the men. Men aren’t always the villains in cases of abuse.
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The time has come for a counter-movement. As a society, we should realize that most men are good people. A friend of mine suggested that we repackage Valentine’s Day as Valor Day. It would be a day to honor not only men who have performed heroic deeds, but also to recognize the contributions of ordinary guys who work hard, support families and produce things that benefit society.
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Next door to me, a construction crew has been working hard on a townhouse complex since early summer. It was an old military housing complex that had become decrepit, so the government decided to replace it. Men came and bulldozed the old townhouses and cleared the rubble. I recall how precisely and carefully the backhoe operators loaded the rubble gently and quietly into dump trucks. Men came to compact the soil and re-grade the land, working in the hot summer sun often until dark. They poured, leveled and polished the slabs the homes would be placed on. Men excavated and laid pipe, once despite snow. The men poured asphalt and smoothed it into parking lots. They built the more distant townhouses. Those homes them are already occupied with lights on at night and cars in the parking lot. Men are now building the homes closest to where I live. From early morning until dusk, they labor six days a week framing and building them. They continued when it was windy with temperatures in the 20s. The two telescopic handlers run all day lifting materials to the second storeys of the houses. The men working up there unload the materials and continue building with them. I’m always impressed by how hard they work, (By the way, the work crews are American. Americans will do these jobs and work diligently at them). These men not only support families, but also help our nation. The townhouses they are building will house the families of the Army personnel who care for our wounded troops at a military hospital.
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Whether on construction sites, in factories, in retail facilities or in offices, men work to support their families and to provide products and services to us all. During their time off, those who have wives and children, try to be good husbands and fathers. There is valor in that willingness to work hard, to work long hours and to work in harsh or dangerous conditions.
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Valentine’s Day should not be an occasion on which to emphasize the bad things a minority of men do. It should be a time when men and women value each other. A woman can appreciate her good, hard working mate by cooking his favorite meal, buying him a gift and a card that lets him know how much he is appreciated.
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Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 02/11/07, all rights reserved
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