As we move through 2007, a harsh reality is sinking in. There are only 21 months until the man his fiercest detractors call the “Hitler of the new millennium” willingly leaves office. This will happen only after fulfilling his maximum number of years as president, as decreed by constitutional amendment, and his successor is sworn in after a democratic non-violent election. You know, just the way it happened with Hitler.

There are still plenty “Bush is Hitler” products taking up warehouse space, and since the end of Bush’s term is drawing near, it’s time for…

The Big “Bush is Hitler” closeout sale!

That’s right, we’re overstocked! In a short time, the man who is indiscernible from the dictator who murdered millions of people will be out of office, and we’ve got too much inventory! Everything must go! Buy some for posterity to show your descendents for generations to come that you lived through one of the most oppressive regimes in world history while at the same time imparting a valuable lesson to the children by trivializing actual historical horrors.

Clothing, wall decor and accessories! We’ve got them all, and at cut-rate prices!

“Bush on swastika” — show your friends you have absolutely no working knowledge of past events or sense of historical scope. Only $12.99:

“The trifecta,” Bush, Blair and Hitler – Tell the world, “I know who the three most evil men in history are” for only $9.99. Saddam Hussein was wearing one of these babies under his jacket when he was hanged:

If it’s wall decor you’re after, you can spruce up any room with this poster featuring Bush and Hitler, artfully crafted and captured in similar poses by a creative genius with a stunning amount of free time. “Goose Step Collage,” is a steal at only $15.99. Your dorm room or mother’s basement motif will never be the same:

Want to demonstrate how Bush has scribbled out our rights one by one? The laminated placemat featuring a defaced Constitution and Bush sporting a Hitler mustache and devil horns artfully drawn with MS Paint will tell your dinner guests, ”I’ve had enough of the Bush administration listening to my sensitive telephone conversations with debt collectors, student loan officers and that co-worker from the fast food place begging me to cover his shift for him.” Set of eight for just $39.99.

All this shopping must be making you thirsty. How about washing it all down with a cold glass of Absolut Evil? Only $29.99. (Please demagogue responsibly)

There’s only a short time left in Bush’s regime, and supplies are limited, so order now! Just call 1-888-BushSatan. That’s 1-888-BushSatan.

And, if you’re one of the next 666 callers ordering, you’ll get this commemorative “Same shit, different asshole” sign absolutely free! Anti-Bush dignitaries at “Rock Against Bush” concerts carried signs just like these:

Yes! That’s right! Signs just like this were at the very shows which featured celebrities of the music industry arriving in private jets, staying in five-star hotel suites, riding in limousines and taking a stage unimpeded to say whatever they wanted to stand united and demonstrate the sheer oppression of the Hitleresque Bush administration. This piece of anti-Bush history is yours free with any order!

Call now, but remember, Bush might be listening, so just say “I’d like an order of Kung Pao Chicken delivered to…” We’ll know what it means.

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