NASA’s Plan For Crazy Astronauts Perfect For Britney Spears
Does NASA have plans if an astronaut goes bonkers in space? You can bet your Tang they do, NASA is prepared for any contingency.
From WTKR.Com:
“The Associated Press has obtained a copy of NASA’s written procedures for dealing with a suicidal or psychotic astronaut in space.The documents say crewmates should bind the astronaut’s wrists and ankles with duct tape, tie the person down with a bungee cord, and hit him with a tranquilizer, if necessary. The instructions also say crewmates should talk to the astronaut who’s being restrained and explain what they’re doing.”
Watching Britney self-destruct in front of the cameras, I realized that NASA’s plan for unstable astronauts is the pop diva’s only hope for salvation.
We cant’ rely on Britney addressing her demons; in the last week she’s been in and out of rehab more often than Oprah Winfrey reaches for a bon bon.
The pop tart needs to be tied up with duct tape so she can’t attack a photographer’s car with an oversized umbrella or cut off somebody’s hair.
An intervention needs to take place right now; two burly wrestlers need to bind Britney with duct tape and bungee cords and take her to a place far away from the spotlight.
If this isn’t done immediately, Britney is liable to don some Depends and go on a cross country tour flashing her bald vagina, or what’s even worse her bald head.
I write a weekly column for a small town newspaper in Virginia, and I also write for several Web sites. Please leave a comment or send me an email at: rreyes4966@aol.com | More from Robert Paul Reyes
Stumble It!
February 24th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I’m glad NASA is prepared!
I wish Britney would get out of the spotlight for a while… I think attention over-stimulates her. She doesn’t seem to know how to help herself.
February 24th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
If its a male astronuat restrained that way, the press would hail it a success. If a female, the whole crew would be charged with aggravated abuse and the press would bay for blood.