How floaters complicate the question of homelessness

I possess a delightful cassette entitled “Homespun Tales.” In this collection of legends and folktales, one story stands out because it has a smack of authenticity or at least of truth slightly embellished. It is “The Crack of Dawn” presented by Donald Davis. It purports to tell the story of his dear Aunt Laura. She had never married and lived with her mother until the latter’s death. Then she became what Davis’ father referred to as a “floater.” Aunt Laura would live for about three months with Davis’ family, then go to on sister’s house for another lengthy visit, then to a second sister’s home, then her third sister’s abode, and finally back to the Davis family. She is said to have repeated this cycle until her own death.

She was never a parasite but always earned her keep (at least partially) through household chores at each home. In the Davis home, at least, she also did some childcare and he always looked forward to, and enjoyed, her visits.

One chore she assigned herself was that of washing the dishes. Davis’ mother had a sink and would let the water run out from the stopper after cleaning eating utensils. Aunt Laura insisted, “That’s a waste of water” and took over the task. She put a tub in the sink, washed the dishes, and then used the dirty water to water plants. Davis recalled her going down the back steps to pour the water on the flowerbed and said, “It always looked to me like it was doing more harm than good.”

However, Aunt Laura did more good than harm be floating around between family members. She brought them company and relief from some household tasks but without staying so long she wore out her welcome.

It so happens that I was recently acquainted with another, but very different, “floater,” Two men lived in the apartment next door to me. One was an older gentleman living on disability I’ll call “Bob.” The other was a 35-year-old man who looked and acted much younger than his age. He was often in front of the house playing with toy trucks. A handsome man, he often went shirtless, displaying a hairless chest with sharply chiseled pecs and a tight belly.

“Scott” as I’ll call him – and I came to learn that he never used his real name anyway – had no job. I soon learned that he had been living with Bob for over a year and a half without paying rent. Were they a gay couple? Bob easily acknowledged that he was gay but said Scott was “straight as a die. He sometimes tells people I’m his uncle so they won’t think I’m his boyfriend.”

Scott certainly appeared to have a strong heterosexual component to his sexuality, whether or not he was primarily straight. Every time I saw him, he flirted outlandishly with me despite the fact that I’m old enough to be his mother. When I visited their apartment, I saw that he and Bob slept in separate rooms.

But why, I wondered, was Bob letting him live in his home without paying even partial rent? I was told that Bob wanted to help Scott who had bi-polar disorder and a drinking problem. It did not seem like Scott was doing enough to earn his keep although I know he sometimes did laundry.

The two of them had fights and Bob kicked Scott out of the apartment. Scott would live with friends for a few days or a week and then Bob would take him back.

I told Bob I thought there was more to his relationship with Scott than he had let on. “Yes, we’ve fooled around,” he replied. Then more of the truth tumbled out.

Scott had either left or been kicked out of his family’s home when he was 15. He had started prostituting himself to men. He had worked regular jobs on occasion. As he is an especially strong man, they were usually construction or moving jobs. He had never had his own home but had lived in one friend and/or client’s home and then another’s.

From another source I heard that Scott is bisexual and typically flirts with women regardless of age or appearance.

Scott had little in common with Donald Davis’ dear Aunt Laura who appears to have been an old-fashioned celibate. However, they were both floaters, living in other people’s homes.

Floaters complicate the issue of homelessness. They do not have homes of their own. However, they are not what we generally think of as “homeless” since they need not resort to sleeping out in the open or even to shelters. Indeed, they may even live in quite comfortable surroundings.

Are floaters counted as homeless? Acting Executive Director of the National Coalition for the Homeless Michael Stoops answers, “We consider ‘floaters’ to be homeless, but the federal government does not.” He continues that his organization is lobbying to persuade the federal government to change its definition of the homeless to include them.

I’m with Washington, D.C. on this one. Floaters are not homeless even if they do not have their own homes. Unlike being exposed to the elements as one sleeps on a street grate or park bench, their lifestyle has something to recommend in the way of variation and interest. Those like Aunt Laura may also do quite a bit of good in other people’s residences.

However, it is sadly true that a floater can easily slide into homelessness. On occasion, Scott has not been able to find a friend/customer and has been genuinely homeless. He is aging out of the appearance that allows him to stay with other people. As another friend said, “The streets have a lot of handsome hunks that turned into toothless drunks.” I hope Scott and others like him realize that floating may not last forever before they fall with a crash into the dirty and disheveled life of the true homeless.