I have on numerous occasions stated my admiration for the English fatherhood group Fathers 4 Justice, its tactics, its activists (including F4J sympathizer David “Spiderman” Chick, pictured above), and Matt O’Connor, its controversial founder. To learn more, click here, here, here, here, here, and here. In 2005 there was a split between O’Connor and the American Fathers 4 Justice, led by Minnesota activist Jamil Jabr. At the time I wrote Matt the following letter:
“Dear Matt:“Jamil may get pissed off at me for writing this but I have some brief thoughts I’d like to share with you.
“Needless to say I am disappointed over the events of the past week regarding F4J in England and in the US. I have defended F4J’s actions countless times in the media, both on my radio show and on other shows, as well as in newspapers. Until now I have always defended your allegedly ‘dictatorial’ leadership style, and I still believe that F4J would not have come to prominence without it. Given my experience in the US, I believe I understand why you felt you had to do things the way you did.
“I assume that the U.K. fathers’ movement three years ago was like the movement in the US, with many competent and well-meaning people in it, but in the end far more getting said than getting done. To do what you did, at least in the U.S., would probably require someone willing to scrap the nice, inclusive, big tent approach and instead select a handful of guys who could be made into a disciplined force by ‘dictatorial’ means.
“As I’ve seen, unfortunately sometimes rhetoric about open discussions, debates and democratic organization as simply code words for ‘talk and do nothing’ or ‘attack those who actually do something because it didn’t include us.’ I’ve always admired you for having the guts to do things the way you knew they had to be done.“However, while Matt O’Connor is a hero that does not make him a saint, nor does it mean he’s always right. Out of ignorance I will refrain from discussing the details of the UK split. However, in the US I find it hard to believe that Jamil has acted inappropriately or has not done what was in the movement’s best interests. Unless I’m really dumb, Jamil is a sincere and committed activist trying to do a very difficult job. Matt, I know that you have worked under tremendous pressure for the past several years. Without going into particulars, I would urge that you rethink the situation regarding F4J in the US.
“At the time Matt didn’t buy it. Though I’m sure Matt has long since forgotten about my letter, it appears that over the past couple years our views on the subject have converged.
Recently O’Connor sent out the following announcement on behalf of Fathers 4 Justice:
“Dear friends,
“As you may or may not be aware, I have recently made efforts to resolve a dispute with our colleagues in the US.“In the course of the last six years of my life I have learnt to value the ‘f’ word. No, not the one normally associated with my rich Anglo-Saxon vocabulary, but the word forgiveness.
“In this time I’ll admit to making mistakes and letting people down on occasion. But, regardless of spin or media stereotyping, I remain true to what I started.
“In the last few years my family have been pilloried and I have been on the receiving end of death threats and media disembowelment. I have taken some fairly unpleasant flack from both friends and foe, but I remain strong, standing and pushing our movement towards its objectives. (more…)
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