Pooping for peace in Portland: Antiwar protestor gets down and dirty

(*Warning. The normally high standards of this column have been temporarily lowered in order to deal with an odious subject matter.)

Just when you think that band of washed up hippie leftists and America-hating reprobates known as the “peace” movement can’t get any more offensive, along comes one individual to lower the standards for human behavior to absolute rock bottom.

According to the March 23 Portland Tribune of Portland, Oregon, an otherwise “well-behaved, well-intentioned” peace march in that fair city was marred by some rather unsavory behavior. It seems that– Well, maybe it’s better to read it in the Tribune editorial’s own words:

“Perhaps the most disturbing scene of the afternoon . . . involved the man who pulled down his pants in front of women and children and defecated on a . . . U.S. flag.”

Holy crap! And let’s hope that was “the most disturbing scene of the afternoon.” But there’s more because this wasn’t just any U.S. flag; it was a burning U.S. flag. That’s right. The flag had already been lit afire, though we don’t know if it was by the well-intentioned pooper for peace or some other well-intentioned person who happened to be against the war but whose patriotism we should not question.

Anyway, the Portland Tribune editorial about the unsavory act was headlined “Rudeness mars peace message.” Rudeness? Rudeness is when you chew with your mouth open, or burp at the dinner table, or ask for something without saying “please.” Crapping on a burning American flag in public is to rudeness what a bunker-busting bomb is to swatting flies. (Speaking of flies, there must have been quite a few drawn to the site of this well-intentioned, pacifist act of protest.)

Talk about defining deviancy down. Why, back in a more innocent time, when protestors wished to express their discontent with the capitalist, warmongering, military-industrial complex, burning an American flag was about as offensive as it could get. Now, the day may have come when if such an act doesn’t include the extra oomph of emptying one’s bowels onto the hated symbol, the protest will seem as innocuous as a girl scout jamboree.

There was no mention in the Tribune editorial of an arrest in connection with the excretory protest. Isn’t defecating in public against the law? The cops should have been all over this guy like stink on– Well, never mind. But honestly, where’s a cop when you need one? What were they doing, standing around shooting the sh__?

Sorry. Please see the warning at the beginning of this column.

In the meantime, as the peace activists sink to new lows here at home, so do the terrorist enemies over in Iraq. Last week a couple of Iraqi insurgents — who the shatting peace lover in Portland probably views as the equivalent of our Founding Fathers — used two children as decoys to get through a checkpoint in Iraq. The insurgents then parked the car at a market, got a safe distance away and detonated a bomb that was on board, blowing it and everything nearby to smithereens. Did I mention that they left the children in the car when they made their getaway?

But the shat-for-brains who demonstrate for peace all over America and other parts of the world see no particular threat from such monstrous evil and don’t think it’s worth fighting. They’ve got more important things to be worried about, like global warming and trying to get marijuana legalized.

Peace movement? More like a piece of sh__.

Greg Strange provides conservative commentary with plenty of acerbic wit on the people, politics, events and absurdities of our time. See more at his website: http://www.greg-strange.com/

This entry was posted on Monday, March 26th, 2007 at 9:02 am and is filed under Vox Populi. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. | 5 views | Trackback | Print this page |

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