Bob Crane and the burdens of masculinity

Bob was ‘workin it’, living a fairly tawdry existance from what I’ve seen, nothing special and nothing to admire from a gender point of view. Whatever he was getting, it was not for me or in my name. Likely he had no need to find, out of exploitation of his good looks, gamesmanship and fame, that there is more to life than exploitive quantatative sex. Doubtless most of his conquests knew he was not marriage material and were looking for a little fantasy or two of their own. Excess appetites are not just a mans issue. I’m not unfamiliar with men and women at the fringes in this regard and can say there are plenty of gals who ride that dragon now that fertility can be controlled at will. Groupies is a woman thing and shows of male wealth and influence set the female heart afflutter, conquest is a male hunting and collecting thing and they are equally as bad as an exploitation thing that both genders frequently play. Likely most never have real compatible love throughout their life time as it’s just an intoxicant and it’s most intense effects wear off over time. If lust cannot be replaced over time with respect, commitment and responsibility then the relationship is doomed. I know a fair amount of married swingers but I still have no real understanding or feel of how they pull it off other than compartmentalizing their naughty little kinks and afterwards they close the door on that particular chapter and go home back to their mutual responsibilities together satisfied on whatever level they find important to them. As one of them said to me, “what she does elsewhere is just play, we go home happily together’.
Tres twisted….

Miss Scarlet in the bedroom with the rope…

From what I have read it sounds like Bob Crane had tired of the life he was living and wanted to change. This may have been the reason he was killed, some hanger on couldn’t stand the fact that Crane and what was left of his “stardom” was going to no longer be around to provide women for this leach. If this is was true, then I feel bad for Bob Crane and I think the cops had the right guy just not enough evidence to convict. I think this cowards name was Carpenter, can’t remember at the moment his first name.

Mixing the factual character with the fictional and asking questions of both calls for care.

His fictional ‘Hogan’ was a good foil for the fear that many men experienced in war. Making comedy from a situation and having the character not only overcome his condition but reign supreme over his oppressors is a reflection on and turning of the fantasy of revenge for the feeling of inability when completely controlled.

I see no reason in an age of ‘Eeekwaliteee’ for women to be protected from capture in war. Nor preventing them fighting on the front line. I hear – and agree with – the argument that in wartime a male soldier might be inclined to unreasonably risk himself more to aid a female colleague, and recommend all-woman battalions. There are none of course, because women have stopped well short of demanding equal responsibility. Equality means something different to women. Whooda thunk!

As for Crane’s womanising and boasting about it, more fool him. Adolescent boys have a high hormonal drive without the experience and wisdom. One does not envy them, admire them (as if, for goodness sake) etc as you suggest. These growing boys and their boasts are tolerated, just. They are different from grown men. Most adult men do not womanise. They may well act a little forwardly sometimes but when women do this it is ‘flirting’ and excused. Women even write books about how to do it, to encourage one another. Men have a different standard applied. Whooda thunk!

Women expose an ignorance of men – as you seem to be doing Denise. “All men are little boys”. All men are the same”. “Men just want one thing”. These are the mantras that 14 year old girls pick up in the schoolyard from their (one year) older sistas and use them as excuses for never having to bother themselves with understanding. Adolescent boys are all they know. Such forever little girls end up in their middle years asking silly questions about men to try to shame them. Covers their self-shame. Just like Hogan.

Whooda Thunk!

I fail to understand the overt or subtle complaints that ‘men only want one thing’. If not for that there would be no purpose or point to any of the rest of it, the purpose of which is actually, women only wanting one thing…

Yep, groupies never seek sex and conquest…never.

It’s not the same thing. Women fantasize about their kids and someone to raise them. There is no natural incentive for women to have multiple partners that are uninvolved in providing or maintaining security. Unsecured women and children will die in a natural world. Men can be promiscuous and there is no penalty in nature as up until recently a cuckhold will do just fine for providing for the raising someone elses brat. For the most part, gals likely don’t care who the daddy is as long as offspring are the result and support for it flows easily. Whatever else is obtained, and no matter the talent offered, sex as an independant purely recreational act is not the same imperitive to a woman as it is to a man, and it’s coerced participation is likely a survival mechanism what with liklyhood of venereal disease and morbidity and mortality of primitive childbirth. It’s for liberals to try and change uncomfortable reality and for the conservative to deal with reality and optimise result in the here and now.
We get back to the basics with regard to sex as an act: For one the goal, for the other a tool

A woman in my town yesterday went to Long’s drugs, no bra, breasts that defy gravity (age 42, never had a kid and freaky looking reasts, like a cartoon in Plaboy Magazinne. Or, like an over-done boob job but no boob job and don’t ask me how I know.) She was bragging to me about it and she was funny telling the story too. I like her but she is “out there” compared to most women or men. I think it’s her honesty and brazenness that lets some of us give her a pass. Unlike other women who do the same thing, more subtly and deny it , she just lays it out in the open, … dress in a provactive manner to excite others and to feel a sense of power. She admits it and laughs about it. It’s just a game, drama. AND it’s sexual harassment. Sexual harassment in American culture is what men say to women or how men act. Men are more visual, sexually, generally, and for women to play to that is something easy to deny. ( I have read far too many women’s magazines to be told that women are not playing sex games with men, often, and I have spent far too much time around women to think that the magazines got it wrong)

She said she was “horny” but didn’t have a particular guy in mind, just thought she should get some rubbers – because she might need them. She did admit to self doubts when younger about her ability to attract men, but this day she enjoyed asking the Pharmacist, and a guy or two she recognized and even a stranger – “Can you tell/show me where the rubbers are?” She was intentionally asking a few guys to see how they reacted to her nipples sticking out and her breast being so noticeable. She could see that they noticed her breasts while she flirted and asked where the rubbers were … One guy asked if she had a boyfriend and she said – “kinda – sorta but I am still looking. ” What a tease.

I know such women who are that forward, aggressive, are rare. Most women know that they can get laid each day, if they want. The problems is, if it’s not with who you want most, settling for less is more empty for more women than for men. Few women think mediocre to bad sex is bettere than no sex where more guys will put up with it while they try to upgrade a bit.

No guy can get away with what this women did, dress like an exhibitionist and ask women to help him find rubbers. Some women would call a cop. Most would hurry in another direction.

And if a guy said to others that an attractive women with “in your face” breasts was flirting with hiim and asking him to help her find rubbers… or trying to turn him on, or sexually harassing him, as she was doing to those guys, most people would think it was his imagination All she would have to do is deny it and he would be told that “men don’t ‘get it’ ” and always assume women are flirting when they are not.

The joke told is that the average women knows she can get laid that day when she wakes up in the morning, it’s not something she worries about – She hears, as a girl , that any guy will fuck any girl if she let’s him.

Average men – esecially those recently dumped, wake up and wonder what it will take to get sex again, if they ever will. The guy dumped knows he has to hustle to get sex. And even some married guys think he will have to he to seduce, or buy presents, or praise, and even beg in some cases. It’s an ego/self-esteem thing and uncomfortable for many men – so when some boys grow up to be Alphas, passing up the groupies isn’t even seen as something to consider. It’s like a hungry person growing up poor and then eating too much just because it’s there. I had one friend, bad athlete, clueless about clothing and style, as a boy, who grow up to be a sugeon, a specialist, worked out, bought Armani, and felt when he was around women that he was like a kid in a candy store, … it’s the money stupid, he thought, but he did become an attractive man too and the combination was one where he had trouble settling down to a wife and being faithful.

For some guys, and I have known a few, being unattactive during teen years, rejected, neglected, while the cooler guys get sex … when some become men, sugeons, actors, or wealthy business men, having women finally hunt them down, makes them feel validated “Bond, James Bond” … and some find such “conquests” addictive. And for others, hey, admit it, a variety of sexy women is exciting, fun, … and more guys would go for it if they could get it.

Then again, in some countries, and some periods of our own history, if you had sex with more than two or three women in your life you were seen as sinful, … then it became ten or more… smile. Today – “promiscious” is anyone that has a lot more sex and more partners than you have.

It’s not just men who keep score to feel “wanted” and it’s not just men who have lots of partners because it’s exciting. But it’s just about all of us that are quick to judge those who seem much different than we are.

I really don’t much care if some people are asexual and others marry ten times in serial monogomy and others have sex with random strangers, … it’s a big world and to worry about who is doing what, how often, with whom, then making a moral judgement or comparing yourself seems a waste of time. If you are lucky and find one lover that does it for you, you are blessed. Most people don’t find that, do they?

And if men are – as accused, too horny and having too many partners, isn’t it women they are usually having sex with, aren’t the numbers a bit equal, or are some women just really overdoing it making men look like pikers while most women are being what? Morally superior because they have fewer partners, less lust? It’s more complicated than “why do men want so many partners?” or “what’s wrong with that guy?”

SD

surgeon, needs an r … slow down dude.

Denice: There’s a misconception here that is all too common. Crane’s behavior is not a normal behavior for men. Most men are not interested in womanizing. Some are true, some women like to sleep around too. Too few women realize that saying “no” to sex is a VERY common male behavior.

There’s a misconception in the comments too. There is a powerful reason to cheat in women and one that is as common as cheating in males. That being the women who cheat with a dominant male and get a normal man to raise the child. Add in just general sex between single adults and you see the not-quite acceptable for the majority behaviors that one can add to the unacceptable sexual behaviors.

The non-criminal sexual bad-behaviors exist at the same rate for the sexes, that rate being a variable between 10% and 33% of adults. The majority do not find the behavior of the minority to be acceptable.

As for Bob Crane? I have no idea and do not really care …

TheRanger said,
I think the cops had the right guy just not enough evidence to convict. I think this cowards name was Carpenter, can’t remember at the moment his first name.

(Denise) Read my article at http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/classics/bob_crane/1.html and find out!

amfortas said,

Mixing the factual character with the fictional and asking questions of both calls for care.

His fictional ‘Hogan’ was a good foil for the fear that many men experienced in war. Making comedy from a situation and having the character not only overcome his condition but reign supreme over his oppressors is a reflection on and turning of the fantasy of revenge for the feeling of inability when completely controlled.

(Denise) I think you’re right. As I pointed out in my article, Crane said that ex-POWs were some of the program’s “biggest boosters.” I have a friend who says his father, a WWII veteran (not a POW), watched “Hogan’s Heroes” faithfully.

amfortas: I see no reason in an age of ‘Eeekwaliteee’ for women to be protected from capture in war.

(Denise) Actually there is. The sexes may be equal in most areas but in at least a few they are not. Female POWs would be subject to rape and pregnancy.

amfortas: Nor preventing them fighting on the front line. I hear – and agree with – the argument that in wartime a male soldier might be inclined to unreasonably risk himself more to aid a female colleague, and recommend all-woman battalions. There are none of course, because women have stopped well short of demanding equal responsibility. Equality means something different to women. Whooda thunk!

(Denise) Again, women and men are equal in most areas but not in everything. Women soldiers should never be put on the front lines as they would not be as effective as men soldiers in that capacity whether in mixed battalions or all-female battalions. However, there are many positions that women can fill effectively and they do in today’s American military. I support utilizing women in every field in which they can be effective.

amfortas: As for Crane’s womanising and boasting about it, more fool him. Adolescent boys have a high hormonal drive without the experience and wisdom. One does not envy them, admire them (as if, for goodness sake) etc as you suggest. These growing boys and their boasts are tolerated, just. They are different from grown men. Most adult men do not womanise. They may well act a little forwardly sometimes but when women do this it is ‘flirting’ and excused. Women even write books about how to do it, to encourage one another. Men have a different standard applied. Whooda thunk!

Women expose an ignorance of men – as you seem to be doing Denise. “All men are little boys”. All men are the same”. “Men just want one thing”. These are the mantras that 14 year old girls pick up in the schoolyard from their (one year) older sistas and use them as excuses for never having to bother themselves with understanding. Adolescent boys are all they know. Such forever little girls end up in their middle years asking silly questions about men to try to shame them. Covers their self-shame. Just like Hogan.

(Denise) I’m not trying to shame men as a sex. I often deal with men on a professional basis who are anything but flirtatious and act in a perfectly businesslike manner. I don’t believe that men “are all alike.” I am close to a popular financially successful man who was a virgin at age 27. I correspond regularly with Yuri Nesterenko, founder of the Antisexual Stronghold who plans to remain a virgin for life. I have corresponded with Ben Shapiro, a well-known conservative columnist who is proud that he is a virgin.
I was asking for feedback from my male readers about Bob Crane’s lifestyle and exploits because I’d like to know what a variety of men think of him.