Queen Elizabeth Urged To Apologize For Slavery, And Treatment Of Native Americans

OK, folks, for once and for all time, I Amfortas, being a loyal servant of Mrs Queen, indeed her ‘Trusty and Well Beloved’ according to my Commission parchment, do hearby apologise for every friggin day that has gone before, for all the acts of all the peoples of the world since history was first recorded – aye and even before that, for the uncrupulous taking over of neanderthal caves by sapiens interlopers from the south, for the unconscionable actions of forebears who refused to stay in the trees where they belonged and invaded the plains occupied by peace-loving wombats, and for standing upright and abandoning the traditional pracices of walking on knuckles that God designed.

Now shut the f*ck up!