Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed both profound sorrow and anger this morning upon receiving news of the death of Iraqi Al Qaeda leader Abu Ayyub al-Masri.
Pelosi, who became fast friends with al-Masri during her recent Middle Eastern visit, issued the following statement:
“While George Bush and his Muslim hating cronies high-five each other
over Abu’s murder, I would like to share with you another side of this very complex man. As many of you know, as part of my official capacity as Speaker of the House, I completed a tour of the Middle East last month. During my time in Iraq, I met with Abu and several of his freedom fighting colleagues. While they have been branded as misogynistic and backward thinking by many on the right in our country, I found the exact opposite to be true.
Case in point. As we strolled through the streets of Baghdad late at night on fact-finding missions, Abu was always careful to take my cultural upbringing into consideration. Knowing that I am a strong, liberated American woman, he allowed me to walk five paces behind him instead of the standard ten. He also let me keep both of my eyes and my nose uncovered on our evening jaunts. Furthermore, he truly put himself out on a limb when he made the decision to have only half of my genitalia mutilated; a move that could have had disastrous results for him.
Oh, I know the official word is that he was killed by other freedom fighters. This is true in much the same way that the Virginia Tech shooter was responsible for the deaths of his fellow students; in both instances George Bush and his pals built the gun, loaded it, aimed, and then allowed someone else to do the actual shooting.
I looked into this man’s culturally equal eyes and found another human being staring back at me. A man I knew we could work with to build a more peaceful tomorrow. And now, tragically, he is gone.”
Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of The Nose On Your Face which offers “news so fake, you’ll swear it came from the mainstream media.”
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Squiggy said,
May 4, 2007 at 4:30 am