Long resigned to their role as the “Garfunkel” of the international punchline community, Belgium has seen their stock rise sharply on the news of the recent French presidential election. Nicolas Sarkozy’s vocal pro-American stance, along with his large margin of victory, may shift the balance of French-bashing away from the traditional favorites; the French.
“I have to be honest with you, I’m not all that familiar with the Belgians,” said Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania resi
dent James Dyer. “But I better get up to speed quickly; they certainly aren’t going to just mock themselves. This election is a wake-up call for many of us in the France-mocking community, and we ignore the will of the people at our own peril.”
Dyer went on to say that although he does not know a great deal about Belgians, he does have some generic taunts “that can be utilized until more specific ones can be crafted.”
Experts say that more than anything, this election was a referendum on the cliched French taunting that has become prevalent in recent years.
“The French have given us so much material for so long, that it became almost too easy to make fun of them,” said veteran Francophobe Jack O’Malley. “Surrender, crepes, effeminate males, the f***ing beret? Comedy gold. I think that many people, myself included, have become complacent, lazy. On another note, let me be the first to welcome the gay, John Ritter-adoring, waffle-vendors of Belgium into their new role. You’ll be hearing from us.”
Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of The Nose On Your Face which offers “news so fake, you’ll swear it came from the mainstream media.”
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barkingdog said,
May 8, 2007 at 8:48 am
Buckley F. Williams said,
May 8, 2007 at 9:26 am
Menck said,
May 8, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Squiggy said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:10 am
Flanders said,
To recitify that infamous American ignorance, i should also point out that the majority of Belgians, (the Flemish region accounts for 60% of the population) speak Dutch, not French. Belgium is a tri-lingual state with three languages - Dutch, French, and German.
Belgians despise the French in a way that makes u guys seem like u love them. In fact mentioning to a Belgian that they wear berets, would be a particularly creative way of committing suicide.
An Englishman living in Brussels (oh yeah - thats Belgium’s capital)
May 10, 2007 at 3:34 pm