“There we were: your basic American family. My husband loved his job in foreign relations; I worked from home as a writer so I could be there for our kids, a girl and a boy. Yes, we had the usual quarrels over money and time, but we seemed happy enough, with one exception: My husband was content to stop at two children; I wanted more. Every few months, we’d go back and forth about this…and he’d say, ‘We have two wonderful children. Why do you want to mess everything up with a baby?’
“I saw his point. Still, I’d look at my kids, thinking about how special each was, and wonder, Who else is waiting to be born? And then, in the space of a few impulsive moments, I stopped wondering and did the unthinkable.ÂÂÂ
 “I knew I was ovulating. I had the diaphragm in my hand. But instead of putting it in, I told myself, ‘Let’s just see what happens. Just this once.’ And I quietly put the diaphragm back in the medicine cabinet, knowing my husband was lying in bed waiting for me, knowing that he trusted me completely, that it wouldn’t even occur to him that I could deceive him in this way. Afterward I told him that I’d forgotten to use it, and eased his fears with some lame remark like ‘probably nothing will happen.’
“What makes an otherwise sane woman do something like this? I can try to ennoble it, to turn myself into Mother of the Year and make my husband out to be the bad guy because he didn’t want more kids. But the truth is, I was selfish–selfish enough to think I should have what I wanted and everyone else would have to adjust.”
The above quotes are drawn from “Confessions: The big lie I told my husband” (Redbook, Oct. 1998), told by a woman who had two children, lied to her husband about birth control, and then had twins. The full story is below.
I certainly don’t condone all of the husband’s behavior here, but it is refreshing to see a woman take responsibility for her actions. What she did to her husband, in my humble opinion, is a far bigger betrayal of his trust than what he did to her in retaliation, though both acts are clearly wrong.
A marriage is supposed to be built on trust, but ours was almost wrecked by
my one thoughtless act. And no, it wasn’t an affair
By Elizabeth Hume
Redbook, Oct. 1998
I’ve never cheated on him, nor have I ever faked an orgasm. Still, I betrayed my husband, and for that, we’ve both paid a very steep price. Of course, at the time of my deception, I had no idea just how far-reaching the consequences would be, or that we’d still be picking up the pieces this many years later. (more…)
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