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Lohan vs. Nadal

2007-05-30
By

Self-Destruction Theater

America has a penchant for needless, round-the-clock coverage of center-stage performances at the Self-Destruction Theater, whose currently departing castmembers are Paris Hilton and Rosie O’Donnell. Paris is a week away from serving a jail sentence for violating her DUI probation; ABC/Disney just canned Rosie from The View for once too often shooting off her loud, offensive, uninformed mouth.

Because all shows must go on, Self-Destruction Theater was seeking to replace Paris and Rosie when, miraculously, its prayers were answered over the Memorial Day weekend. In a tribute to fallen American soldiers, inebriated Lindsay Lohan clinched the audition by running her cocaine-carrying Mercedes SL-65 — worth $107,000 — over a Sunset Boulevard curb and crashing into a tree, then fleeing the scene. Forty-eight hours later, to secure her place on that center stage, Lohan partied a full day at the Roosevelt Hotel, later barfed into a bush outside the hotel, and then, in the wee hours of the next morning, passed out in her girlfriend’s car.

Most TV talking heads began this week, while still fixated on Rosie, by debating whether 20-year-old Lindsay Lohan should go to jail for breaking numerous laws — and whether she helped or hurt her career by engaging in the MissBehaving that America loves to forgive.

Coincidentally, on center court at Roland-Garros Stadium in Paris, 20-year-old Rafael Nadal began a two-week quest to defend his singles title at the French Open tennis tournament. What a juxtaposition of two … I hesitate to call them peers (Rafael was born one month before Lindsay in 1986). These two kids couldn’t be more different. You see, American parents have a tendency hold their youths — especially girls — to a very low standard of behavior.

Case in point: pictured on the May 28, 2007, cover of Fortune magazine are two products of American parenting — a disdainful male and his arrogant female sidekick. The issue’s title reads: “‘Manage’ Us? Puh-leeze … Today’s twentysomethings have their own rules. You just don’t understand them.” Actually, I do understand them but don’t care: kids haven’t earned the right to make their own rules.

Because most Generation Yers (those born between 1979 and 1994) had free reign as kids, they feel entitled to the same coddling as adults. Unfortunately, they’re getting it. One Fortune vignette portrayed a female engineering grad whose new employer actually invited her mother to be present on her first day of work, just as she was on the girl’s first day of kindergarten. And, these Gen-Yers, suspended in perpetual childhood, are going to be America’s future leaders? I’m sure Al Qaeda can’t wait.

Lindsay Lohan, who spent her early years in wealth and privilege, obviously never issued an unfulfilled demand to her parents. Today, those parents are divorced, and Lindsay is estranged from her father, Michael. But, give Dina, her 45-year-old mother, some credit for being in the picture. Every time Lindsay goes to a bar, she is likely to find Dina there, out-partying her.

Legacy of Bill Clinton

Rafael Nadal, on the other hand, is from the island of Mallorca, off the coast of Spain. He is close to his parents, traditional disciplinarians, and, as a result, respects authority and social protocol. Watch his on-court and off-court demeanor. He is unusually poised, mature, and humble, considering his youth and #2 ranking. In many ways, he resembles his #1 adversary, 25-year-old Roger Federer from Switzerland.

In an excellent piece written on ESPN.com’s Page 2, LZ Granderson finds in Nadal a kid with solid grounding, a young man with self-respect. Nadal, who went to a private, religious school taught by monks, said this to Granderson: “My teachers were always very tough. They didn’t accept poor work, especially if they knew you were capable of better. They always pushed you to work harder, be better. Be a better student, be a better person.”

Rafael Nadal must be treated like royalty back at home, right? Wrong. He told Granderson: “When I am in Mallorca, everyone treats me the same. No special treatment or anything. They know what I have done in tennis and they are proud of me, but they don’t treat me any different. It’s peaceful.”

Rafael’s uncle and coach, Toni Nadal, explained how Rafael grew up: “If he ever acted out on the court, I would be very upset with him and very embarrassed. ‘Sometimes things will go your way, and sometimes they won’t. But you cannot lose your dignity.’”

Embarrassment? Dignity? These are forgotten concepts in America, the legacy of Bill Clinton. And, these TV debates about how Lindsay Lohan’s Memorial Day Mêlée may actually boost her career — because we “expect” her to behave this way — are proof enough for me.

Rafael likes to build himself up. Lindsay likes to tear herself down. While Rafael Nadal displays great promise as one of the greatest tennis players in history, Lindsay Lohan enters the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu. Most Americans have never heard of Rafael Nadal, yet everyone has heard of Lindsay Lohan. How sad.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

In our nonjudgmental culture, it’s common for people to confuse being a parent with being apparent. Americans who believe that the hands-off, discipline-free, entitlement style of “raising” children produces great results should look no further than the examples of Lindsay Lohan and Rafael Nadal.

Feminists have overwhelmingly convinced our state and federal governments to enact policies that redefine the family: a mother and her children living together, with the father living away from but supporting them. This is precisely why America is in a downward spiral, and why Lindsay Lohan is one of its many casualties.

If you dispute that, count the homes around you that have mothers and fathers living together. While you’re at it, count the homes that are producing Lindsay Lohans and then the ones producing Rafael Nadals. It’s no match.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 55+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719).

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

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Didn't make Oprah's Book Club. And Ronnie doesn't care. Man up. Buy the book now on Amazon.com. Or listen to Ronnie tell a story at escaping-from-reality.com.


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  • jackal1994

    Lol, just realized the USA link was a boys only spelling bee.

  • jackal1994

    Hey Marc.

    I remember you stating that Fox was so happy with the ratings of your weeky debates with Lis Wiehl that they were giving you an open invitation back on topics of your choice.

    I was reading about this years spelling bees in USA today:
    http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2007-05-31-bee-winner_N.htm
    and was shocked to see it’s a boy.

    Maybe the boy crisis in education would be a good forum to open.

    If Fox bites, ask her why educators keep blaming boys (for the disparity–like they’re dysfunctional) instead of the ecucational method–the disparity disappears in asian schools, and in home-schooled kids.

    A much smaller (and very debatable) disparity lead to the Gender Educational Act (or whatever it was called). Where is the publics outcry about this much larger disparity against boys?

    Lacking a huge bureaucratic semi-government entity to push boys/mens rights does the public even know that 65% of college enrollee’s are women, or that women are awarded 100,000 more bachelors degrees every year compared to men?

  • conservativation

    Oh I’m incredibly sorry…I didnt say MALE Drs in my last post

  • conservativation

    To this topic, when I was in the initial stages of my (ultimately not completed) divorce, I interviewed a woman lawyer recommended by a man lawyer friend of mine in another legal specialty. Her testosterone level was off the charts. Thats because her specialty was winning full custody for the Doctors that work in the Houston TX Medical center, including the WMD Anderson cancer center….extremely high profile men who likely were indeed away from home alot.
    But her tactics she recommended were so over the top I didn’t hire her…I wanted peace. It gave me a glimpse though into how the other side thinks and schemes…it is an ugly beast.

  • Menck

    David R. Usher said “Then children are sent to endless counseling and put on drugs to create the appearance that the child is ill, that doctors are feverishly trying to save the child, and the child is so brittle that a custody change should not be made.”

    To David,

    This is EXACTLY what my former spouse has been doing to the oldest of my two sons (age 17) since the divorce eleven years ago. Constantly having him placed into treatment facilities with ‘specialists’ to cure his behavioral issues, placing him on a plethora of medications to control his behavior, and then placing these overall issues at the forefront of every meeting with yet more ‘experts’ and family court types to justify whatever goal du jour she was currently pursuing.

    And also to justify pushing me out of my sons lives because only SHE, as might be expected, was qualified to take care of him properly.

    She was especially dangerous in this regard because she practices at a pretty high level of medical specialty herself and was able to manipulate, with great ‘credibility’, all the other players in this perverse process.

    I have experienced the extremes of parental alienation (a good deal more than what I’ve mentioned here) and I have to say that you certainly have a clear handle on what goes on beyond the view of the general public or the shrill denials of feminist organizations.

    It is hard to get people to believe this stuff really happens.

  • David R. Usher

    It is remarkable that Lindsay Lohan’s father has to beg on television just to talk to his daughter on the phone. Parenting cannot be done without parental authority.

    Children know what they want to do, and tend to attach to the parent who will let them do it. Most children do not like discipline, and will triangle adults against each other to manipulate the parenting environment. Mothers know how this works — so in divorce and custody situations they set up situations so the child can break rules, increasing the chance that the child will reject the other parent.

    In this light, we see that parental alienation does not necessarily mean actively programming a child against the other parent. Simple passive-aggressive permissiveness does the trick.

    Parental alienation can be a simple as being extremely permissive so the child will reject the other parent, and then assuming a “Munchausen-by-proxy syndrome” role (often called the “protective parent” in feminist jargon), pretending the child is just a child who is incapable of doing anything, and therefore no external yardstick of discipline or behavior should apply. Then children are sent to endless counseling and put on drugs to create the appearance that the child is ill, that doctors are feverishly trying to save the child, and the child is so brittle that a custody change should not be made.

    The above describes the classic situation played out in divorce courts every day.

  • scottkirk

    children are held less accounteable in a court of law…and now were regressing back to (women as children) by not holding women accounteable in our courts of law…is this progress for women?????

  • scottkirk

    Fathers can’t change the world overnight, but they can start by maybe educateing their sons about what an earlier society “the greeks” used to initiate their boys into manhood. They gave their boys The lesson of ” The sirens”, and how only the men who didn’t answer the seductive cries of the sirens safelly sailed their ships past the destructive islands.
    This may still work to some degree in transitioning our young boys from the “mother, and women” as gods..to women are human and fallible like all humanity.
    I agree marc..most modern young adults (and some elders) are stuck in a state of perpetual infantilism.

  • brmerrick

    I think that in Lindsay Lohan’s case, it’s about more than bad parenting. It seems to be epidemic among child stars. Even the Osmonds, brought up with old-fashioned Mormon discipline, have not escaped the ravages of early fame: Marie freaking out on her second husband after a difficult pregnancy, Donny as a middle-aged man having panic attacks before performing.

    To the parents of the future Lindsay Lohans of the world, I say, you have no business putting a defenseless child in front of millions of people, for any reason whatsoever. And maybe it’s time for all of us to stop participating in this poisoned mass culture.







Right.

Man up.

Buy the book now on Amazon.com. Or listen to Ronnie tell a story at escaping-from-reality.com.

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