Gilberta Estrada hung her four small daughters, three of whom died–and it’s her ex-boyfriend’s fault?! For example, Christian Newswire just issued the press release “Victim of Domestic Violence Hangs Self and Four Daughters” in which they claim:
“Domestic Violence is a destroyer. It is believed that Gilberta Estrada hanged herself-after hanging her four young daughters first. A police investigation hopes to confirm the tragic facts of this case. An already confirmed fact is that Estrada was a victim of domestic violence. The Associated Press reports that she had previously obtained a restraining order against the father of one or more of her children. Can we rule out the possibility that domestic violence, or the threat of continued domestic violence, was a contributing factor to the depression Estrada was reported to be experiencing and the decision to end her life and the lives of her children?”
Even if Estrada were a victim of domestic violence, it wouldn’t come within a mile of excusing or explaining her horrendous crime. But it is in no way an “already confirmed fact that Estrada was a victim of domestic violence.” Estrada got a temporary restraining order against her ex-boyfriend Gregorio Frayre Rodriguez. While to outsiders this may sound impressive, it is, in fact, absolutely meaningless.
According to Elaine Epstein, former president of the Massachusetts Women’s Bar Association, restraining orders are doled out “like candy” to “virtually all who apply,” and that “in virtually all cases, no notice, meaningful hearing, or impartial weighing of evidence is to be had.”
Restraining orders are generally done ex parte, without the accused’s knowledge and with no opportunity afforded for him to defend himself. When an order is issued, the man is booted out of his own home and can even be jailed if he tries to contact his own children. Despite these grave effects, many courts grant restraining orders to practically any woman who applies. Research shows that these orders often do not even involve an allegation of violence. Usually all that’s needed is a claim that the person to be restrained “acted in a way that scared me†or was “verbally abusiveâ€ÂÂâ€â€Âwhat’s known as “shout at your spouse, lose your house.â€ÂÂ
A restrained person does have the opportunity to contest the orders at a hearing a couple of weeks later. However, these proceedings are often just a formality for which no more than 15 minutes are generally allotted. In fact, the State of California’s website gives the following advice for men who are contesting restraining orders:
“Practice saying why you disagree with the charges. Do not take more than three minutes to say what you disagree with. You can bring witnesses or documents that support your case, but the judge may not have enough time to talk to the witnesses.â€ÂÂ
One study of restraining orders published in the Journal of Family Violence found that 94% of those brought by women in one Massachusetts district were extended.
Many if not most domestic violence restraining orders are simply tactical maneuvers designed to gain advantage in high stakes family law proceedings. The Illinois Bar Journal calls the orders “part of the gamesmanship of divorce.â€ÂÂ
A recent article in the Family Law News, the official publication of the State Bar of California Family Law Section, explains that the Bar is concerned that “protective orders are increasingly being used in family law cases to help one side jockey for an advantage in child custody.†The authors note that protective orders are “almost routinely issued by the court in family law proceedings even when there is relatively meager evidence and usually without notice to the restrained person….it is troubling that they appear to be sought more and more frequently for retaliation and litigation purposes.â€ÂÂ
The restraining order against Rodriguez was only temporary, and was probably issued ex parte. Yes, it’s certainly possible that Estrada may have been a victim of domestic violence, and I’m sure her family, friends and defenders will try to portray her as such. However, as of right now, we have no credible evidence that she was a victim of domestic violence. And even if they did have a violent relationship, it may have been Estrada who was solely or largely responsible for that violence. After all, while we have no proof of any wrongdoing by Rodriguez, we do have absolute proof that Estrada was violent and mentally disturbed.
The Associated Press story is Mother hangs herself, 4 children; infant found alive.
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