How?

I acted like women do. I treated her as my enemy, and went after her before she could go after me.

Gonz, you mean “stuck WITH her?” (The alternative interpretation is a felony assault charge ….)

I have to believe the spellchecker I never use also persecuted you, because you always come across as a gentleman and a scholar.

Though I am interested to know if you had to “stick with” a bad second marriage period of turbulence?

I’ve observed that men who have been in prison use a lot of the same verbs that married men use to describe their situation.

and how come ??? –

(S. Baker) —

“there are some good American women out there” and I agree. They can be found if you will search for a true Christian woman. Conservative Baptist and Mormon women would be my top picks.

I lived in Idaho for many years. Mormon girls were well regarded as the raunchiest sluts between Coeur d’ Alene and Salt Lake City.

Those gals redeemed the whole Freudian concept of repression overcome!

The government now has a record that you (the man) were concerned for the safety of your children and yourself to call the police. You’re now the responsible, concerned spouse/parent.

You now increase your chance to get an order of protection against her during the divorce.

Call 911 when you feel afraid (I know. It goes against what you know, however, you will be saving yourself much grief and expense).

Orders of Protections are used by divorce lawyers and judges to get the other spouse out of the house. Getting her out of the house means separating her from the kids and your property. The order will say it’s only temporary arrangement (like all things government and feminist, this is a lie, as it is a permanent arrangement).

Further because you have custody of the kids, she may be obligated to pay support (in reality judges do not order this, however, you will not be ordered to pay 18 years of part of your income).

Remember when you feel afraid, call 911.

One quibble: I don’t think anyone should unquestioningly follow a lawyer’s advice (or the advice of any professional for that matter) especially if they are setting low expectations that someone can achieve on their own in the first place. (I have a friend who was told by his lawyer that the system was going to screw him and be happy with it. That costs $100 an hour?) Let’s not forget that lawyers are one of the players in the system…

If you want to read tips from the enemy, check out NYMOM’s site: She laments that many women took it for granted that the system was stacked against men and assumed that meant they could get away with ANYTHING. (That doesn’t make her admit that the system is biased in favor of women though).

Anyone who has siblings knows that it’s just as, if not more, easy to get into women’s heads than it is to get into ours (ours are more simple and therefore easy to clean up. I can list my insecurities on one hand.) Theirs can fill a hard drive.

I was laughing when I read one vicious hollywood lawyer use tactics against his crazy and very intelligent ex-wife against her. She tried to argue that he was threatening her even as she wanted to get goodies from him. So he suddenly cut her off of the goodies AND stopped answering his phone and the predictable happened (she left a nasty, threatening voice mail on his machine.) Oops!

So, hypothetically, Gonzman’s stupid naive brother could have been the ideal sap and gone for his limited visitation and even given the kids presents in the past and then, without explanation, just suddenly didn’t show up OR provide an explanation. Let HER blast HIS phone with calls asking him where he is or when he’s going to get around to bringing the presents when the kids start crying in her ears and she has a boyfriend waiting to go out on the town while he looks after the kids.

Play a Basinger and record and enjoy.

Right on, brother! I’m right there with ya. I had to threaten my ex-wife’s life to get shared custody of my daughter about five years ago, but it was worth it.

I thought Gonz was exhorting men NOT to be stupid.

Gonz, I think a lot of the commenters here still are not internalizing your point. Their complaints about American woman and so on, sure they’re valid, but this sentiment smacks more of sour grapes than steely-eyed determination in the face of an entrenched foe. Like you said, “You have to fight you first.” It’s the attitude of moral righteousness, overcoming the cold-and-calm mentality of a victor. Maybe taking the responsibility to become a victor is more than some men can bear, and instead they take to the blogosphere and Internet forums to vent.

Make sense?

I don’t mean to be doing a tag-team thing on you, KushinLos, but do you have a secret plan up your sleeves for accomplishing this which you could share?

My very casual observations lead me to think the average joe would have to fight like hell (and be impecable at same) to get away with maybe a 50/50 split and no child support payments on your part.
_______

Gonz – great piece, but could you elaborate on the following paragraph?

Gents, we are a minority. One the dating scene – for every 10 attached women, there is one floating around free. Know what that does? It gives you power – please me, or there is another who will.

I really could make out what you were saying. If there’s only one unattached for every attached woman, it makes it sound like they (the former) are the minority and the ones with the power.

Also I learned much by sitting and listening in the hallway outside of the courtroom. Sit near woman and men. Listen to them. If you can, ask them a few questions.

The more you visit the County’s Family Court, the more you ought to learn.

Also it is a great place to find a lawyer as you can observe the good ones in action. Do not hesitate to get their names and numbers (In an America marriage, it’s best that the husband have a good divorce lawyer lined up before you need one)(Do not assume that because the lawyer is also a divorced man that he helps divorcing men).

Recall that woman initiate about 80% of divorces and about 50% of them their husbands were surprised. Mine was a surprise, out of the blue – she was unhappy. (Personal note: by the time I recovered from the emotional shock it was late – Yeah I thought as tough guy, that I could handle it. I was wrong.)

PS During a divorce the man is called many things. Gay. Abusive. Lazy. Unfit. Dead Beat. Uncaring. Drunk. Druggie. Violent. Threat to children. Threat to self. Threat to wife. A recall a father/soldier was called a “trained killing machine” (though the government trained him to fight abroad for the government’s interests, the judge, a government employee, used it against the father to separate him from his kids.)