Response to anti-armchair generals

Hi Rich,

I just purchased your book. I am really looking forward to reading it (on its way from Amazon).

I have purchased and circulated “The Liberator” on many occasions. It is very shared-parenting centric but also covers the general injustices of family court, child support and the “deadbeat dad” myth.

I’ve read some of your posts here and I am in strong agreement. Unfortunately we (men) have many hurdles to overcome – one of the largest being selective ignorance. It’s not that they are more ignorant than women, just selectively ignorant in areas that are critically important to men. Generally, they find this out way too late.

Secondly I think men are misled about how to regain their own recognition and respect amongst men and women. I have seen posts advocating everything from a new spirituality (which will presumably just naturally regain a patriarchic society) to suggestions of ducking out of society all together. My view is in simple contrast to these advocating the rational debate of the issues facing males. Men need to recognize that being the smaller population they need to convince not only all men of the importance of men’s issues but also women. We need society to recognize the many issues facing fatherhood and men the same way society finally recognized many other plights of mankind.

This needs to be done in hard, cold facts, figures and actions – and perhaps significant sacrifices (financial, time, etc.). Nothing else will work. Change requires effort – the larger the change the greater the effort. However, one important lesson that we can learn from the women’s movement of the 70′s – every women became an activist of sorts, at the very least bringing the injustices to everyone’s attention. Not accepting bad jokes, pointing out slanderous ads, discussing slanderous TV shows, etc. etc. So large changes can also be made form great efforts which are a composite of many smaller efforts.

Progress is being made on many fronts and we can not lose sight of this as well. I have discussed the men’s movement with someone who ran a web site for many years and finally gave up because he felt that men were hopelessly ignorant on the subject. But I argued with him that his efforts had a big payback – they were the kernels which grew into larger efforts which, while still not fully empowered, are making waves (perhaps ripples) in today’s placid waters of misled feminism and chivalry. Each small, sometimes individual change builds a stepping stone. For example Sean Puffy Combs and his case which made a clear indication that accounting for a child’s actual expenses is required for high-income cases of child support. My case, and others as well – each place another nail in Dracula’s coffin or at lease a single smack of the hammer on an existing nail.

Keep up the good work Richard – would love to see many men go to their local borders and ask for this book – the world works by demand.