Carrie Underwood’s ‘Before He Cheats’–When a Woman Commits Domestic Violence, It’s Just Good Revenge
“I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats…I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires…”–from Carrie Underwood’s hit single “Before He Cheats.”
One of the ways the double standard about domestic violence manifests itself in our popular culture is the female revenge motif. Women who are wronged (which, to some, means all women) exact revenge in a way which, were the genders reversed, would be widely condemned.
One example is country singer Carrie Underwood’s hit single “Before He Cheats”, in which Underwood (pictured holding her Louisville slugger) brags about destroying her cheating boyfriend’s car. Destroying an intimate partner’s personal property is often considered to be domestic violence (at least when a man does it), though it certainly is a much smaller matter than a physical assault on the victim.
According to Wikipedia, the video debuted at #1 on GACTV, was #1 on CMT’s Top Twenty Countdown five weeks in a row, and was named best video of 2006 by CMT. In April of this year, the video “swept the CMT Music Awards, winning three categories: Video of the Year, Female Video of the Year, and Director of the Year. Underwood made history by being the first female to win Video of the Year.”
There has been no discernable protest or criticism of the song or the video. I find it hard to believe that a country song and a video approving of a violent, jealous man destroying his girlfriend’s car would get on the air for five minutes.
To watch the video, click here. The full lyrics to the song are reprinted below.
Before He Cheats
Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp, and she’s probably getting frisky… right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can’t
shoot whiskey…
Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo…
And he don’t know…
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats…I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires… (more…)
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Stumble It!
July 10th, 2007 at 8:28 am
Contrary to how most people view it, country music is chick music, perfectly suited to being played at a NOW convention. The target market for country radio is women 35-55 and 75% of country radio listeners are women.
Would you like a few more examples?
1. Toby Keith’s “How do you like me Now?” caused a breakup between Keith and his then-current label because Keith insisted on releasing it as a single and the label refused (”You can’t play that on country radio.”)
2. The original version of Garth Brooks “The Thunder Rolls” has the woman going back into the house, getting a handgun and shooting the husband. The label didn’t like it, but apparently Brooks started playing it in concert, to great applause from the women.
3. Miranda Lampert’s “Kerosene” video has her burning down her ex-boyfriend’s house after he rejected her. It wasn’t cheating – the relationship was over. Her latest album is titled “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” which she has described as “Kerosene on steroids”
Women may find this sort of stuff “empowering”, but all it’s doing is convincing guys like me that it is downright dangerous to get “close” with a woman, or at least closer than a one-night stand. Then women respond by calling men “immature jerks” and “afraid of strong women” What man in his right mind wouldn’t be afraid of a hypocritical woman who applauds violent overreaction?
I’ve complained plenty to the local country radio station and been threatened with legal action if I did’t stop harrassing them. I’ve also mentioned the both “Before He Cheats” and “Kerosene” on Dr. Helen’s Blog.
July 10th, 2007 at 8:52 am
I like the old country and Western music. It was about bad men and bad women. being a drunk, going to prison. You had to have soul and that means toughness to listen to and like it. Now what you have in this modern music ,re bad women, but they don’t like to be thought of as bad. It’s ok if a woman does it, well no…….You see there are women out there that need punishing. What they neglected to tell the women when they wanted all this ” equality” is there are some seriious draw backs attached to it. It is not all goodies and benefits. When women act bad there will be consequence, sometimes severe consequences. There are not going to like it , but that is the way it is.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:33 am
This is because of the woman is always the “victim,” and man is always the oppressor/preditor dynamic. Anything, “she” does is either self defense of justified.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:53 am
But, but…. she’s expressing her emotions. It feels good so it must be good. She’s been told that by Deepak Chopra and a hundred other Gurus. She’s from Venus, goddamn it. PhDs from the Marharaja Mahesh Yogi University can’t be challenged especially when they are millionaires. The self-help shelves groan under the weight of pop-psychobabble that tell her she is right. Always. The entire psychobabble profession listens to her angst without judgement, saying ‘Tell me more’. This is a democracy. When so many folk vote with their wallets that it is right, it is made so.
It is men that are always wrong.
You’d make a terrible woman, Glenn. You just don’t listen!
July 10th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Ahh but everyone overlooked the Dixie Chicks classic Ed. In that one the woman justifies murdering her man because he beat her. If a man killed his girl because she beat him it would only take a milisecond before he was on death row. I too enjoy country music. In fact I pretty much like ALL music except rap. Seems 90% of rap is just stealing someone elses music and changing the lyrics. Plus how many rappers can actually play an instrument? However I do like the older country (Marty Robbins and Johnny Cash) to most of the newer stuff. Toby though has good marks with me since he is one of the few performers that go to hot spots to put on shows for the troops. Ok no more rambling.
July 10th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Click:
Any Excuse Works For Women Who Commit Domestic Violence
July 10th, 2007 at 10:14 am
“Ahh but everyone overlooked the Dixie Chicks classic Ed.”
I thought the title of that misandrist song, IMO, was “Earl.”
July 10th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Click:
Working the Domestic Violence Industry Scam
July 10th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Sorry, this link will work. Click:
Working the Domestic Violence Industry Scam
July 10th, 2007 at 10:23 am
The Dixie Chicks song is “Goodbye Earl”. And, yes, I forgot about it. However, in that song, she got a restraining order, which Earl violated. In the process, he beat her severely enough to put her in the hospital. I have to wonder if I were the woman’s father, would I be tempted to kill Earl too.
On the other hand, it would have been nice to hear Earl’s side of the story too.
July 10th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Thanks for the correction. Ed …Earl…what’s the difference. I depise the Dixie Chicks either way.
July 10th, 2007 at 11:05 am
It’s a real education to watch TV and movies and make mental notes of how female-against-male violence is depicted. In the first place, unlike most other forms of violence, female-against-male violence is almost always (or maybe always) portrayed as appropriate. He always deserves it for some reason. Interesting too is what causes her violence against him. It can be as simple as something he says. I watched the old TV sitcom Ally McBeal about 20 times just to see if there was an instance of female-against-male violence in every single episode. It turned out there wasn’t one in every episode, just about 2 out of 3. Usually all the guy had to do was say something the woman didn’t like and BAM! The other interesting thing is the ease with which women are shown to beat up men. On Ally McBeal, 120-lb women routinely punched out 190-lb men with a single blow. I’m still trying to figure that one out. Something about I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar, I suspect.
July 10th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Jeez, you guys! What, no sense of humor?
In truth AOL ran story on Couric, the pathetic news anchoridiot on CBS. They touched on Poor little man hater Couric and how she has admitted she made the wrong move leaving the silly gynocentric Today show.
In that article was a sentence about some writer or editor who put he word “sputum” in one of her monologues that she read on the air. Apprantly she was pissed and slapped this guy in front of many other people. Not a peep said about this episode. Nowhere, not even on the major newspapers. Imagine ole Brian slapping some chick over at ABC or NBC or the NBA. They’d be fainitng all over Amerika. Anyway, there were literally thousands of comments made by viewers on the Couric issue, and NO mention of the violence she committed on a man.
The comments were very telling, a lot of obvious female contributors made reference to “poor Katy” and how it’s because men don’t like female news people that her ratings are so low. It was very telling actually.
In line with the other comments made above men are always guilty and women are always innocent to the point that even if they suck at delivering the news which she does, it’s mens fault.
Right on Glenn, it’s so pervasive it even goes to the television and the news. I mean she really does stink.
Matt Lauer
July 10th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
What we need to make are some “parody” videos that just switch the genders….
July 10th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
the gonsman…who would show the videos? stores wouldn’t sell them. what cable channel would pony up? not even fox would have the balls. remember andrew dice clay? don’t dis the chicks 9 even in a comedic setting ), its the kiss of death!
7 out of 10 married women ( thats my number ), bad mouth their hubby and usually to his face to boot. 9 out of 10 men wouldn’t dare do the same.
if you need actors, i ‘ll do it for free just to piss off all the liberal women i know which is too many.
July 10th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Jeez, you guys,
I think Donnieboy 57 is 101% right, men are so scared of women in this country it’s frightening. The Lowe’s tv commerical about some seemingly decent guy being pushed around by his shrewish wife and at the end of the video even his equally shrewish daughter. Complying with every demand such that neither has to say a single word. It’s silly.
Was over in Japan/Korea/Okinawa for two weeks last month and the world is completely diferent. Smaller. But different. These obese broads here in this dump are laugable.
And why we take any of this is a statement about American men.
In Japan illegals are arrested on the spot and have to pay for their own ticket back to whereever. No money? No problem. You work for the prison until you earn enough to be sent back. Women are are treated as equals or looked down upon. Here we worship their fat shod in every designer they can max out a credit card with feet.
.
July 10th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
In America, a man’s fear of women is justified.
In America, a woman calls 911 and lies. Without few questions, the police arrest the man.
Divorce is unilateral and easy, without question the man loses his children, eighteen (18) years of income, property, and liberty to woman – then he is ordered to pay his and her lawyer fees. Further, if the man is disagreeable to this arrangement, a two-year order of protection is placed against him.
Affirmative action gives the woman an unequal playing field during hiring and firing of a job (expect this to be modified soon with gays also given special priority).
He can expect more money and research to go toward women’s health issues, yet he dies almost a decade earlier.
When the man goes to church to pray for help, he can expect to hear a sermon to get responsible or how bad men are.
In America, real men need to run and hide for safety. If a man is able, he ought not to marry in America and or marry and American woman. Better, he ought to leave America for a patriarchal country.
July 10th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=j5xNI4y56E8
July 10th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
mruffolo said, “In America, a man’s fear of women is justified”. He is right. It isn’t just America though, and it isn’t women so much as the shotgun she carries, barely concealed.
When I was a kid, if some other kid challenged, the phase chanted was “Yeh. You and whose army?”. Well, women have an army of lawyers, legislators, Judges and cops to back them up. One has a right and a duty-to-self to be afraid.
“You are afraid of a strong woman” say the feminists. Only partially right. But a self-fulfilling prophesy.
July 11th, 2007 at 8:39 am
This article brings back memories of a woman I met through online dating who popped in a country-western tape in her car stereo on our second date. At the video store, she chose a film about about a woman who was gang raped and then had to “fight for justice” to get the men thrown into jail (it turns out that the case the film was based on took lots of liberties with the facts.)
She said she was an old fashioned girl and wanted men to have the pleasure of paying her way, buying a big diamond ring, and provide for her to quit her job ASAP to have children. That was on the third date or so.
On the fourth date, she said she was hungry and insisted at stopping at a taco bell. I can’t stand taco bell so didn’t order anything and after she got what she wanted, she got irritated with me that I didn’t offer to pay “like a gentleman”.
When we got to her place, she got nasty when I told her that she’s an adult and has to be responsible. She started chain smoking (which I didn’t see before) and shoved me.
Then I flew away. Like the wind.
Then the nasty phone calls began. I screened my calls and she left messages threatening to kill my cat. She was drunk. (Good grief! It DOES sound like a country-western song!) Later on, the calls took a pleading tone saying that we could “take time away” from each other and maybe get back together. Her friend called me and said she was worried I might go to the police with the records I had.
I just unplugged my phone altogether after that. I never heard or saw her again.
I wonder though: How many stupid American men out there either would have gotten sweet talked back into bed with such a woman OR were such “gentlemans” that they got through the honeymoon period without conflict and never saw their dark side?
About “strong men”: The modern American woman notion of the “strong man” who is so strong he can tolerate abusive women is belied by the fact that strong men don’t want abusive psychos in their life and have the choice to avoid them. Is putting up with that kind of crap a sign of strength or weakness or stupidity?
July 11th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
What can men do to stop their wife or girlfriend battering them?
Report Your Abusive Wife or Girlfriend