Chicago Daily Southtown: ‘No sympathy for deadbeat dads’
Background: My co-authored column, Most Illinois ‘Deadbeats’ Aren’t ‘Reprehensible’ — They’re Broke (Chicago
Daily Southtown, 6/20/07), criticized “Operation Father’s Pay”–Father’s Day week police raids against so-called “deadbeat dads.” The column was written as a response to Deadbeat dads owe big (Chicago Daily Southtown, 6/18/07). The reaction from the Southtown’s readers has been rather hostile (see Don’t accept excuses from deadbeat dads), and below is another example.
This is in regard to Glenn Sacks’ ridiculous column about the poor deadbeat dads. Is he crazy — saying the men who lost their job or suffered a drop in income can’t get their child support payments reduced? The majority of men who don’t have jobs are deadbeats who quit their jobs so the state won’t garnish their wages. If they suffer a loss of job, does their child stop eating? Do they stop needing toothpaste? Clothes?
Whether the father pays his child support — the custodial parent (usually the mom) still has to feed and clothe the child. I am a single mother who works in an office, and I waitress on weekends. I found two jobs to support my daughter. Don’t tell me my ex-husband can’t find one. I haven’t received a penny since Jan. 4. I just called the state’s attorney, and now it will take me three more months to get a court date. Deadbeat dads are exactly that — deadbeats.
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Stumble It!
July 20th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Yo Momma! Did you think that maybe you should have stayed married to the father? That maybe the one thing any man wants from a woman is “no grief”? Did you ever offer him custody of the child and to pay child support?
Let me give you a clue: A very good reason for prohibiting extortion and peonage is that those being extorted sometimes react badly.
Like refusing to pay any money at all.
I am not going to tell you your ex cannot find a job. I will tell you that under 18 U.S.C. §1581 that using state sponsored extortion to try to force him to get employment is a FEDERAL FELONY.
July 20th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Roger your first sentence sums up the problem while the rest sums up the law. This woman is the poster girl eh?
Anyone want to get some gals witha few bucks together and make a pool of money to bet who filed and why?
It boggles the mind and pises me off when I read this crap. How anyone can get bored, dump a guiy, limit his contact with kids, then bitch he doesnt pay, is beyond the pale.
July 20th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
The father may have been fired from his job because he was frequently in court fighting a corrupt government for the right to see his children for more than four days a month.
Or he may have trouble getting a job because of the battery charge on his record that came up during a background check. The domestic violence charge after he argued with his wife the night she told him she filled for divorce.
Of maybe he spend 30 days in jail for violating a Order of Protection because of the he emailed her. She felt threatened.
Or maybe he is unable to keep a job because she subpoenas each of his new employers. She does not believe what he makes for a living.
Or he his depressed, so is unable to hold a job, because he heard the courts were more fair with fathers, but instead he observes that, after a fifteen minute before a family judge, he lost his kids, much of his income for eighteen years, his property, and some of his liberties.
Or he is depressed that his wife divorced him because she was unhappy and he was not making her happy, and that our government cares little for marriage to allow that to happen.
Or that, in a divorce, his church, government, family and friends mostly ignore his pleas for support, but tell him instead that he his bitter or angry.
Or maybe he lost his job to Affirmative Action so he was replaced by a single lesbian mom, who needs the job for her kids because, well, her ex-husband is also a deadbeat.
America’s marriage.
July 20th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
I recall the feeling when, after arriving home, I reread the court order for child support. I felt like a train had hit me.
At monthly $2,300.00 for about sixteen years, excluding college and other expenses, I owed my wife about a $450,000 for support. This did not include property and asset lost and liabilities gained by her divorce.
The future value of this support annuity at 5% is about $700,000.
Seeing your child every other weekend for sixteen years computes to about $1,700 per visit.
July 20th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
The fact that neither of you males showed any empathy toward this woman, her child or their situation speak volumes into your heartless souls. Perhaps he left, perhaps he was abusive and was asked to leave perhaps she just left…either way child support is support for the child.
This lady’s situation and her child’s are just a small window of what happens when parents abandon their responsibilities which is the child. The excuse is that these deadbeats can’t find jobs, if a mother can find two then we know that finding employment is not the true reason for deadbeats but in fact most deadbeats have the same similar mindsets as to what you demonstrated here. That is why the system has grown so tired of men trying to side step their responsibilities and the law to satisfy their need to further abuse the family they can no longer control.
Your heartless statements legitimize why deadbeat dad laws need to be tougher and swifter.
July 21st, 2007 at 12:17 am
Truthsayer, when you come across a soldier with a bullet hole on his foot, what’s your first thought? There are hundreds of thousands of women across the western world with holes in their feet who are complaining of lack of bandages, lack of cotton wool, lack of medics – and there are plenty of all of the above for their self-inflicted wounds – and guess what? They all want friggin’ medals too. Some even drive a nail into their palms and claim martydom to boot.
July 21st, 2007 at 1:51 am
Amfortas, Liesayer is just a troll, who obviously has his head stuck up you know where.
Liesayer, the reason we have so little compassion for this poor single mom is the choices she and so many women make:
1) She did not build up her ability to earn a decent income BEFORE getting herself knocked up.
2) Having got herself knocked up, she did not go to the abortion clinic and quietly take care of the problem so she can delay motherhood until when she can afford it. Whatever you can say about abortion, our liberals and judges consider it a sacred right of women to decide when they become parents, after already having done the dirty deed. But these same judges consider it frivolous for any man to claim the same right to the SECOND decision women have.
3) She did marry the father or was married to the father. However, just from the tone of her letter, she apparently did not moderate her demands for money and spending when married. She might have felt that she was entitled to the privilege of sliding the credit cards like crazy regardless of her husband’s thoughts on debt load and what his paycheck can support. She might have been a total bitch to him. And then when the inevitable explosion comes, she calls the cops on him because she is “afraid”.
4) 8 times out of 10, the wife is the PETITIONER to the divorce. If she used a protection order motion to secure custody of the kids and the house (if they have one, sometimes its just an apartment), she need not have maintained it once her man is kicked out and deprived of joint custody of the kids. Her motivation in running to the courthouse after provoking anger every which way she can is that she believes the judges will give her everything for being female and they did!
5) Unfortunately it turns out her husband was not lying when he said they cannot afford it! Boy is she disappointed to discover that everything he got was not that much! But with that great big child support order, she can stay home with the kids!
6) Except he quit or lost his job somehow and does not feel like working his ass off to support a wife who BETRAYED their marriage and to support a government through taxes who BETRAYED the Constitution and the Rule of Law.
So now little Princess Entitlement has to work two low paying jobs to support herself and ONE child.
If she just performed Step 1 a little differently, she would at least be making $15 to $20 per hour which is more than sufficient to support one parent and one child.
With some fiscal discipline, of course. Wives who exercise that little matter are the ones celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries.
I could be wrong, Liesayer, but I strongly suspect that Entitlement Momma did not understand the concept of “fiscal discipline” when she was married.
As for how the govenrment treats us divorced fathers? There is a little old Declaration on display in D.C. that includes the words: “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism,” that is exactly what no-fault, meaning no due process of law divorce, and the Child Support Crusade is. And the Declaration continues: “it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security”
We admire the courage and sacrifice of the men who signed this Declaration. But we noncustodials KNOW their motivation:
THEY WERE PISSED OFF!!!!
July 21st, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Now Folks don’t get all riled up. There is nothing wrong with this lady and most all other women that 15 or 20 years of ” growing up, socially, legally and morally” won’t fix. It is the fraud, I mean the legal system, that needs fixin’. We have to go back to the constitution and make the out of control thieving bastards obey it. once they get brought under control and start acting like they know who they work for, things will straighten out.
It may take a revolution to get it done, but if that’s what it takes, then I’m game!!!
I don’t really believe things will get better until men with guns do the fixin. We put a few of the thieving terrorist, I mean family court people, on trial for the crime of high treason. And they are convicted and a few of them hang for the crime, I think then the message will get across. Wrong is wrong , no matter how pretty and politically correct you make it. If you do wrong you will be punished!
We will not tolerate a bunch of government thieves and a bunch of spoiled rotten women. You will either straighten up or we will straighten you up!!
July 21st, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Truthsayer… here is the TRUTH…
Her needs do not have any correlation with the hsubands abilty or inability to pay…
in order to make the assertions you make you have to either not trim up loose ends of your lines of thought, and so the fact hangs in the air… or… you believe that everywoman scrimps and saves like laura ingals wilder.
for instance, your statments encompass the whole of womanhood in child cases, and since your an agit troll, who feels that by niggling people to respond in a bad manner as a means of seeing their true form, and in this case went for soft spots.
this is what a sadist does. when you jab a persons wounds with a sharp stick your not revealing their TRUTHful selves… your bringing them to their animal level, and you can do that with either sex, and gay men, or lesbian women, and athiests, humanists, islamists, etc… (though you would have a real hard time with the amish).
you are ‘radicalized’ and your means of chaning our minds is to hurt us as confirmation of your opinion of what you think men are like, then you use that confirmation to fuel your next expidtion… this is like putting dynamite in everything to blow it up so you can come back later and see what they rebuild as.
anyway… enough about you and your inconsequential, and empty self…
whatever the wife expresses has little bearing on the truth of the matter, it has to do with her expectations.
and people are rotten at imagining other peoples position, and even worse at imaginging their expenses and needs and such… make it worse when you think that your needs come before that persons, and then you have a situaiton where you believe that the person can starve and die and you dont care CAUSE YOUR NEEDS ARE NOT MET.
deep inside us the way it goes in our biological preference is that man encompases woman and children.. he will die to fulfill their needs… big animal, train, etc… they move and they die to fulfil the needs… mother only encompases child… she feels from her perspective if her needs are met, the childs needs can be met…
however, needs and wants are not defined… in fact, our world confounds needs and wants… and you truth dumb ass do to… she only NEEDS minimal food, clothing and such… but you can see a story here where they are getting 700k… do you make that money? does a person NEED 700k over 14 years, or do they WANT that? remember you have to make near 130k to be able to give that 700k tax free…
what about some of the others here… they are also encompessed in your statement… do you think 31,000 a month fulfils needs or wants? will the money heather mills gets… 50 or 100 million… does that go for needs? or wants?
if i am to guess truth, you are probably gay or asexual… and when someone like that takes a high ground they usally are taking it with the knowlege that thats not a situation they will likely be in. whats even more truthful is that by promoting this they are able to inflict pain on the heterosexuals that make their life a misery… like their own parents, or grandparents, or the ones that teased them in school, etc. they know that they can get double duty out of this one… they get to get back and cause pain and such (as its clear that truth is a sadist), and they get to look good to the women who are just like eve, and too easily tricked by those with an agenda that is not in their favor.
that woman writing… she works two jobs… but she makes a lot less at them… working hard is not working smart… i know your a communist socialist because you follow the labor theory of valuie… if she had 5 jobs she would be more worthy of it. but the whole concept that she puts forth and such is not valid when the amounts needed are quite way over minimum wage.
for instance.. she works two jobs… who watches the kid? oh… she has the added expense of having to pay a surrogat mom a lesser mom to watch her kid while she works for the same amount she pays, but has to pay taxes on it…
now he has to come up with enough to live and to maintain a lifestyle so that he can earn enough to do this. THIS is what marxists like truth dont get… that to work in an office or to run a business, one needs money in excess of what you need to work as a unskilled worker, or not have a business… the extra goes to dry cleaning your suits.. yes you can wash some, but then you have to iron them… so if he cant dry clean and iron or do all that, then he loses his position and his ability to make money…
hey truth… could you live right now from this moment if they took 20% of your gross away from net? so if you make 50k, you need to take away 10k… and the state/fica/taxes will take out almost half… 30-40% 20k… so out of a 50k job, you get to live on 30k… right? no no no… you forgot to add that you are also paying the mortgage on the house she lives in… and the school for the kid… and the clothes… what? you cant pay that? even on 50k? well then you better work double shifts? what? you mean your salaried… (salaried means you dont get overtime fo the extra hours you work… i am salaried, i work an extra 10 hours a week that htey dont pay me for but they require)…
you have to now take a second job… but the boss in your first job needs you on call, and needs you for overtime work (unpaid)…
so you have a choice… work a second minimum wage job that if you put in 30 hours will net you a nice $150 and lose the 50k job since you cant work the hours they expect from you..
or you can work the 50k job… and still lose it all because the courts and truth will go after you yelling deadbeat.
now the kicker… the mean for one person is more like 30k… many men work salaried positions in which the jobs stated hours is 35 a week, but in reality its 40 to 60 hours depending on industry and such.
oh… and you dont get that when a company that is smaller gets notices from the state… that reduces their profits because they have to have some worker work on that thing (like taking out child support)… so in essence the company can save money by firing guys with such obligations.. and not hiring them….
if you sit there and do the math.. you will find that one man, one woman, and one child living together with mom not working… can live better, in fact much better than one man in his own place… one woman in her own place… and a baby sitter earning a salary…
in ny.. a two bedroom apartment can run 2500 a month… a one bedroom is not 1250… its 1500… just as when you buy something that is half the amount the price of it is not half the price of the larger…
so when they split all expenses rise and new ones are added…
so the 2500 a month has to be a 2500 a month AND a 1500 a month…
if they were living as well as they could together… then how can they live at all when they are apart? the truth is they cant.
the food costs go up… there are now two gas bills… two electric bills… two pone bills… and a daycare bill thats equivalent to having to pay a minimum wage payroll on top of it.
most families live as well as they can… they dont save today… thanks to other socialist programs… and so a family living on 50k would have to live like they were at 25k so that when they broke up, nothing would change, except they would have no savings.
but lets look at the harm this causes… if they were able to save 2k a year for school, they definitely cant after the break up.. that 2k is the difference between homelessness and a small one bedroom apartment in a bad area (which increases your car insurance and such).
and truth? whats the end result… what will it be like in 100 years? all the extra monies that went into family businesses, and grandchildrens educations, and so on are not possible any more… with divorce the way it is and the message about whats truthful not truthful at all… all you ahve are dead bodies on the highways…
but what you do have are children that now will grow up and need the state to pay for their schooling… and so on..
what your making truth is a prison for everyone… thats what a socialist reality is… eventually your an animal in a zoo in which the state is the zoo keeper and the state makes choices just like the zoo keeper… and the more socailist we get the more like a zoo we live… and most zoos separate male and females who can mate so that they dont unless they are permitted to… and when they do, the zoo doesnt care that ping loves pong.. they only care about a new animal to have and such, and they take it away and raise it for zoo life… and when a zoo animal ges old… they have euthanasia… and when a zoo animal is born deformed they have eugenics to preserve the animals linieage for the zoo… (what do they do with deformed cattle? duh).. and what about medicine? well a zoo animal has medical paid for and given… but when it gets older its replaced… so its not worth having new medical proceedures and things… because all they do is preserve the life of old zoo animals past their useful existences! so they ration healthcare… this makes society look healtheir too as ther arent old members around that give the appearance of sickliness… and what about culture… no… zoo animals dont need turkey dinners… or familiy gatherings… a zoo animal in an enclosuer is family with whomever is there… what about entertainment? well, once we are in the zoo, there really isnt any… its a problem and a waste… the time can be better spent putting the animals to work…
and there you have it… separate them… and put them to work… make the decisions impossible to fulfill.. and so you get the maximum out of everyone as they try hard… and they waste away faster so their useless years are less.
thats what your helping make truth… you are truly slaying the truth..
and as a sadist you probably revel in this… but thats because you dont get that they will come for you too… for if your young enough to work.. they will work you… and if your not… well, then they will do something else.
what will happen eventually is that they will decide that its easier to just collect support from ALL males in the form of taxes… its actually less messy… its where we will end up… and its easier to break up families if all of one sex is taxed, and the other sex only gets the boon if they are not married or cohabitating…
our population in the west is going to plummet… are you ready for the fight that WILL come eventually? will you be too old to fight, and so something that they will get rid of.
while we are looking at a micro effect, there are much bigger macro effects and such that this will lead to… it was planned that way…
too many useful idiots.
Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten, habe ich geschwiegen; ich war ja kein Kommunist.
Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten, habe ich geschwiegen; ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.
Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten, habe ich geschwiegen; ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.
Als sie die Juden holten, habe ich geschwiegen; ich war ja kein Jude.
Als sie mich holten, gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte. – The Reverend Martin Niemöller
‘First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist, so I said nothing.
Then they came for the Social Democrats, but I was not a Social Democrat, so I did nothing.
Then came the trade unionists, but I was not a trade unionist.
And then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew, so I did little.
Then when they came for me, there was no one left to stand up for me.’ – The Reverend Martin Niemöller
Truthsayer… your on the socialists side… take some time and see what happens eventually, when little socialists grow up…. the ones that supported the change that came along that they helped are the first to go… because they are also the weakest and the ones that would weaken the new state they way they did the old, and once a change happens, they will not let it go back without outside intervention.
all this crap is making sure that we cant defend ourselves and will just lie down and give up.
in 30 years… we will not have a force to defend ourselves… and we will have some very large and very scary states over us… russia has a lot of extra men that its having problems with and jsut changed the conscriptions laws… with a snap of a finger they can change into whatever they want to with absolutely no answering to the people. after all, russia did 100 million in… china 65 million… right now, china has an extra 30 million men that it doesnt know what to do with, and hungry for taiwan.
so truthsayer… are you ready?
July 22nd, 2007 at 9:46 pm
If deadbeat fathers have it so golden, and single mothers so tough WHY NOT SWITCH?!
Seriously, the next time a single mother starts bs, ask her if she’ll switch and why not?
August 14th, 2007 at 7:09 am
What ROACH of the KNIGHT started off wrong…SHE GOT herself knocked up. What a disaster! Anyone have any raid????
These men need to pay their child support and stop whining. Their children need them and I am sure as sorry as you are…your children need you. Man up and stop the whining. If you were left…there is not surprise as to why. Get up off your lazy behind and make an effort to be a least a resemblance of a man and a father.
August 14th, 2007 at 7:13 am
jackal1994 what another stupid statement. Will you switch being pregnant, pushing out the big kid and what comes after it? NO
God made woman to give birth and he made us to love support and protect. The woman filled her role now you need to get up off your butt and stop playing pretend roles. You males make all the male population look bad!
None of that socialist crap either! Get up off your lazy butts, stop making excuses and be a man. If you were not being so SOCIAL then you would not be fathers. You made it now feed it and stop the crying.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Wow! I think what you have here are some very bitter men who got railroaded by the judicial system. And therefore are evermore heartless to others cases. But here is what some of these men, who legitimately want to be apart of their children’s lives but some gold digger woman is using the children as a pawn in her game, dont realize…Not all of these deadbeat dad scenarios are what Ive stated above. In fact a majority of them are not. Majority of them consist of a player gettin his rocks off and leaving the woman hold the bag. You can argue that the woman should have kept her legs closed til the cows come home. In a perfect world she coulda, woulda, shoulda. But what about the man keeping ol weenkie out of the kitchen sinky as well? But they didnt, and these women raise their children, work 2 jobs, and take care of their responsibilities. And those who are working usually dont qualify for that nifty little state check. So shes raising her child on her dime, not yours. This is how it is in the state of MO. While the fathers go out and whore around and make even more children that they have no intentions of paying for their 20 seconds of feel good! There is where there should be no sympathy for the deadbeat. And if you men who DO pay your child support knew the difference, youd see how these types of deadbeats make it even harder for the legitimate father seeking the same rights as the mother has with visitations ect, makes it harder for you to hold face in the courts of law. And easier for that gold digger to nail you even harder. So instead of sitting here cutting her down, you should be just as outraged about true deadbeat sperm donors! When it boils down to it, they are who’s running up the tax payers tabs to prosecute them. The problem is our courts dont distinguish the difference. Ive seen it from both angles. A friend of mine has over $11000.00 owed to her in child support, yet the state does nothing to help make him pay because she doesnt get a state check and foots the bill herself. Yet my husband pays his child support, and tries to be very faithfull in his payments. He hits a rough spot and his hours get cut from work, and his ex and the state are all over him like stink on poody! I will also admit it is disgusting how the state treats men who do pay and take care of their children as if they are second class citizens! We need to be able to have some kind of system in place that can tell the two types of dads apart. It would also be nice if a woman could be labeled as a gold digger or welfare sponge herself. If there is a record of this, that may be the turning point for the next time she takes her ex into court and tries to nail him for lookin funny.