Grandmothers are an important ally in the struggle for shared parenting. I often receive heartbreaking letters from grandmothers and grandfathers who have lost their grandchildren in their sons’ divorces. When the custodial parent cuts the ex-spouse out of the children’s lives, grandparents are usually cut out, too. Sometimes grandparents in these situations are also targets of Parental Alienation. I discussed the important role women should and do play in the shared parenting movement in my co-authored column Why Are There so Many Women in the Fathers’ Movement? (Minneapolis Star-Tribune, 6/21/02)
The article below details the shared parenting activism of Violet Downs, of Highland, Michigan.
Highland grandmother rallies for family rights
By Alison Bergsieker
Milford Times, 8/2/07
Just like many mothers, Violet Downs, 80, of Highland, is happy to brag and boast about her son, Brian.
Brian graduated from the University of Michigan in 1979 and later received a juris doctor from the University of Arizona in 1991 and served as a patent attorney for many years.
And he’s got three children younger than 16, all of whom he’s fighting to support and gain joint-custody rights from his ex-wife.
 ”As it turns out, he lost everything,” Violet said. “When he got his divorce, it was just awful.”
Brian and his ex-wife divorced, and she was given sole custody of the children. She moved them to Grand Rapids, requiring Brian to leave his home in Arizona in order to be close to his children, Violet said.
While Violet can’t get involved in her son’s custody issues, she’s getting involved elsewhere.
From Aug. 15 to 20, Violet, Brian and two of his children, Jack and Paula, will head to Washington D.C. for a “Family Preservation Day” rally at the Lincoln Memorial site. Supporters of the rally will gather to address issues of parents’ rights, adoption and child support.
“It’s not right  men that have prepared themselves for good marriages and then they get these rotten women,” Violet said. “I hardly know a family that doesn’t have a divorce in their family. The kids are suffering because they really need both parents.”
Two bills regarding the joint-custody issue have been introduced in the House since 2006  the most recent being House bill 4564.
The bill moves to apply joint-custody to both parents unless a court determines evidence of a parent who is “unfit, unwilling or unable to care for the child.”
 According to the bill, sole custody may be issued if a parent moves his or her residence outside of the child’s school district. The bill would still require both parents responsible for child support based on the needs of the child.
The bill awaits a vote in the House and must pass before it can be voted on in the Senate.
“It makes me heart sick,” Violet said. “Nothing’s ever done… I don’t know where the patriots are who protect this country.”
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