Dear Mr. Sacks:
Here’s a little parental-alienation horror story you may use as you see fit.
I was married in 1960 and soon had two children. I had a newspaper job in Virginia, but my wife (a New York girl) applied unremitting pressure for us to move back to Manhattan.
It was tough going. I worked a full-time job and did freelance work half the nights in order to keep my children in a private pre-school, then a series of private elementary and secondary schools in Manhattan.
My relationship with my wife got worse and worse, and I finally moved out and sought a divorce. I made every effort to see my children until my wife (who was later diagnosed with psychiatric problems) started physically attacking me on sight. I took the matter to Family Court in Manhattan, but they could/would do nothing to stop the attacks. I saw less and less of my children, who by then were in secondary school.
My wife started calling my employers to tell them of my evil ways. Finally, she started appearing at my work to create scenes. I lost my last job because of this and was unable to find equally remunerative employment for years.
In the meantime, my wife–who was always able to afford legal talent–managed to have my support payments jacked up in a series of ex parte hearings that I never knew about. Worse yet, she was successful in having her and the children’s names changed, and I was unable to locate them. (Although I suppose I could have if I had had the money for private detectives.)
[All this reminds me of the classic example of chutzpah: the man on trial for murdering his parents who begs mercy from the court because he is an orphan. In this case, an ex-wife who destroys my career, then complains that her support payments are insufficient; two otherwise rational children who can't understand why, living in Manhattan and having had their names changed, their father doesn't get in touch with them.]
Time went on, and my health declined. After a bad second marriage in which I lost nearly everything, I found myself totally dependent on my Social Security. I moved to China where I have friends and where food, housing, and medical care are cheaper . . . and where, by scrimping, I was able to live on my Social Security.
That is, until I tried to get my passport renewed two years ago . . . and found that I couldn’t because of the Bradley Amendment. Still living in China, I used the last of my savings to hire a lawyer to file a petition in Manhattan Family Court to have the support orders vacated, which, of course, can’t be done.
Needless to say, this petition was denied–my supposedly knowledgeable lawyer apparently was unaware of the Bradley Amendment.
But at this hearing, my children suddenly showed up (my ex-wife died soon after). (more…)
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