Sad Self-Delusion
Every time a man tells me, whether in person or via e-mail or on a radio show, that he wears the pants at home, I laugh to myself. I know that the opposite is true: he’s engaged in a sad game of self-delusion.
Most men refuse to understand or believe or learn that they have no rights in the USA, except for the right to remain silent — a right they exercise brilliantly. Men rarely protest any of the injustices in our civil and criminal laws. Yet, they happily will vote for politicians who promise the world to women.
At home, these men live under the false impression that they’re in charge, and their wives and girlfriends are happy to encourage such fantasy. Women know the score. So, what does it mean to wear the pants at home?
I’ve decided to help men understand who’s in charge by making PANTS an acronym, with these five elements: pregnancy, alimony, nest, treasury, and sex — as depicted in the graphic below. As you can see, whoever controls these elements is wearing the pants.
Let’s look at the elements of PANTS, one by one:
- Pregnancy: a woman controls whether she becomes pregnant and whether she remains pregnant (Roe v. Wade). She can legally commit maternity fraud: lie about her fertility or use of contraception. Unless a man produces no sperm, a woman can become pregnant — even if he is wearing a condom: 1) it can break; 2) she can fish a used one out of the trash, impregnate herself, and legally collect child support from the semen’s owner. Also, a woman can legally engage in paternity fraud: become impregnated by one man and tag another (including her own husband) as the father. And, unless the innocent man discovers said fraud by the child’s second birthday, in most states, he owns that child for 18 years. Only Florida allows a victim of paternity fraud out of his child-support responsibility, but he can’t recover past payments. Element winner: the woman.
- Alimony: the receiver of alimony, usually the woman, has enormous power over the payor of alimony, usually the man. Anyone who disputes this is on crack. Element winner: usually the woman.
- Nest: If a relationship produces children, whether legitimate or not, the woman has power to retain the home, especially if she fraudulently files a restraining order against her husband — something that happens routinely in today’s divorces. Most people think that, in a childless marriage, divorce will result in a clean splitting of the assets and that neither spouse can rightfully claim the home. Well, if a woman falsely accuses her husband of rape or domestic violence, he can forget about ever reentering that house. Maybe he eventually can get the divorce judge to force her to sell it, but don’t count on it: judges, especially male and lesbian judges, almost always side with women. Element winner: almost always the woman.
- Treasury: a man who likes to wine & dine women is signaling to them that they can control his and/or “their” treasury throughout their entire relationship — from dating to divorce. I’ve appeared on enough radio and TV shows to safely conclude that most men willingly engage in legal prostitution — paying to have sex with their girlfriends and wives. Some men refuse to live this way, but most relent. Element winner: almost always the woman.
- Sex: most men do not realize that women are the libido champions — they crave sex much more than men, which is why almost all of them own vibrators. Because of their ignorance — and low self-esteem — most men will do almost anything, from spending fortunes to doing ridiculous favors to tolerating verbal and emotional and physical abuse, in exchange for sex with pretty girls. Element winner: almost always the woman.
The NoNonsense Bottom Line
As shown above, in almost all cases, women wear the PANTS — either by law or through sexual manipulation. This ought to be a wakeup call for men, but I’m betting most will continue sheepishly deferring to their women. If you say you’re wearing the pants, you most definitely are not. If you want to wear the pants, accept that, in 2007, you cannot.
This is why having a peer relationship with an unentitled woman is paramount: if, when you meet her, she doesn’t already believe in and practice equality, she will own you — and it will be your fault.
American laws do not protect men at all. No presumption of innocence or due process. But, when women are caught falsely accusing men of rape, they are never prosecuted. Men, consequently, are at the mercy of women — a situation that belies the Constitution and is the result of misandrist lawmakers and judges. But, men, who comprise only 46% of the electorate, keep electing and reelecting the politicians who do them in.
The typical man never thinks about why he spends so much time scheming to get into a woman’s pants. Maybe it’s because she is wearing them. Remember that the next time you reflexively reach into your wallet to fund her meals, her entertainment, her bling, her vacations, her tennis club, her car payments, and … her pants.
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719).
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.
Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.
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mruffolo said,
I enjoyed as much as “Her Double-D’s Can Bankrupt You”
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2006/04/13/her-double-ds-can-bankrupt-you
September 9, 2007 at 10:30 pm
NotNOW said,
Marc you are freakin’ awesome, and right on target again. And your message, I believe, is helping to reach younger men, which is one of the the “growth” audiences we need. Go Go Go!
One other thing you have helped me realize is this: we have always been taught that men have the higher sex drive, and this FALSE NOTION gives women power over us. This is one of the (few) weaknesses of western society, but it is the genesis of many evils that face men today. Modern Christian dogma embraces this idea, and it is why the Right helps the Feminist Left repress men. For example, read this piece about Andrea Dworkin (if you can get past the picture of her that greets you when the page loads…), written by a Christian blogger.
http://www.anotherthink.com/contents/essays_on_faith/20050425_what_andrea_dworkin_got_right.html
It includes ridiculous comments like:
“What Andrea Dworkin got right is that men are promiscuous. The liberalization of divorce laws has aided and abetted men who want to shirk their family commitments and spread their DNA far and wide. Marriage is on the decline because too many men lack the self-discipline to honor their commitments to the women they marry and the children they father.”
The fact remains that much of the Christian Right actually believes this. Men bad, women good. Judges on the left AND right are both willing to pummel men. We have met the enemy and it is us.
September 10, 2007 at 6:20 am
Ed said,
Course, there is only moi and the daughter. Threw the shrew out 12 years ago so she no longer has any control over anything, including how I choose to raise MY daughter (full custody). Course, having said that I knew from day two (post divorce) that keeping my pants on meant keeping any additional women from entering my life and giving them any control, even the slightest measure of control over my destinay and that of my daughter.
Marc is right, they have the laws on their side and they know it, having sex or even co-habitating with them is a recipe for disaster. But only for men.
A friend of mine in Nebraska retired and reported a lot of women were hot to trot to marry/live with him. He retired with money in the bank and a decent retirement, seems the divorcees there can’t make him enough offers to let him support them in a style they feel they are entitled to. He’s managed to stay single his whole life so I don’t worry about him.
I think I see the same in the late forty early fifty crowd that I’ve dated over the years I’ve been single. They couldn’t wait to dump their husbands and now are complaining about men at the same time they cry poverty. Haven’t dated one yet where they offer to pay for ANYTHING on a date citing “traditional values”. Yeh, right, traditional values.
So. listen to Marc’s comments, the destructive power of marriage in Amerika to men is real and very tangible.
As a matter of fact, I think a good move would be to force every man thinking of getting married to sit thru a day of “family ourt” ala the same type of program that takes inner city youths to prison for a day. Let men who’ve been handed a life sentance of poverty and lonliness talk to the young husbands-to-be about what she’ll turn into in a matter of 1 or two children. How she’ll denigrate him and blame him for every thing possible including her weight gain and lack of diamonds on every fat finger and toe. Maybe we won’t save all or most but even a small percentage might be saved.
September 10, 2007 at 7:11 am
conservativation said,
September 10, 2007 at 7:20 am
tom of covent garden said,
September 10, 2007 at 8:46 am
Ed said,
Was it me or were the moderator and Pollard in sync? Quote statisitcs and they simply ignore them and quote their own. Cite the fact that men aren’t the ones doing most of the abuse and they bring up the poodle/doberman comparison. Funny, when they were talking about the dobermans I couldn’t help but thinking it’s women here in Amerika that are the predators and men the poodles.
September 10, 2007 at 9:46 am
fourthwire said,
Those men who believe that they “wear the pants” in this nation have only to sit through a “family court” session, as Ed suggests, to see otherwise. There are ZERO downsides for women to lie about DV or rape, simply to have their husbands kicked out of their own houses.
Don’t marry, don’t co-habit, don’t procreate….. and don’t place women on pedestals.
Keep writing, Marc. You ARE making a difference!
September 10, 2007 at 10:00 am
mruffolo said,
Resist woman worship, lust, and partnership. Remain interested, but distant.
With a hostile government and feminist woman around, do not share your pants.
September 10, 2007 at 10:49 am
Marc H. Rudov said,
Yes, it’s just you. Click on the CNN link, and wait patiently:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/09/05/intv.war.on.men.CNN
September 10, 2007 at 11:08 am
Zebster said,
Oh, and as an aside: whoever thought up that Doberman/Poodle comparison is basing it more on stereotypes than on any real knowledge of dogs in general, and those breeds in particular.
September 10, 2007 at 1:26 pm
emarel said,
September 10, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Marc H. Rudov said,
September 10, 2007 at 5:10 pm
mruffolo said,
That in general the government’s courts award divorcing women the children, eighteen years of income, and most of the property.
That marriage and divorce rules are established and enforced by the American government.
That sometimes good women do bad things motivated by government incentives.
However, above all government laws is character. Would a person steal if stealing was legal? Would that person lie if the government had no punishments for lying? The answer is yes.
American government gives women power in marriage, because whether the man knows it or not, the government and media and culture mostly sides with her.
Though the America’s divorce rate is one of the highest in the world, no man goes into a marriage with the belief that his wife may divorce him.
My previous post suggests a fail safe way to avoid serious financial and emotional trouble. I do not desire to see one more man go through what I or my friends have gone through.
September 10, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Virgin said,
“The thing is, though, that it’s the ones who society considers attractive that are most likely to take you for all she can get. A lot of it looks like it stems back to their adolescent years, when the ‘popular’ girls back-stabbed and put down their peers, and ridiculed those who weren’t as pretty or as popular as the ‘in’ crowd. Unfortunately, many of the girls who were at the top of the game at that age never really seemed to grow out of that phase, instead adapting their immature strategies to get what they want in the real world.”
I think you really got to the root of it, Zebster. As I look back at the girls I graduated with from high school some 23 years ago, it’s those “popular” gals who are screwed up most. They only become more desparate as they age. And believe me, they are not aging well at all!
As for the younger generation, I don’t know what went wrong with them (except that they are being raised by the same kind of “popular” girls I went to school with). Best I can guess is their parents never controlled them and did not raise the girls to be ladies. Instead, their parents failed to discipline or control them and even worse, failed to instill any morals in them. They were never given boundaries. As a result, we have spoiled, whiney promiscuous brats.
As Marc said,
“…whether or not a man gets hosed is entirely dependent on the character and actions of the women he’s with.”
How true. And sadly, a person of good character is hard to find these days.
The more I read about women and their bad behavior, the more angry I am at these women. Those women have ruined and contaminated society with their path of destruction. Bad behavior has become acceptable, even encouraged (just take a look at the celebrities).
By my own choice, I no longer date, and haven’t done so in several years. I will not lower myself to the sewer-level behavior and mentality of some of these women.
After reading so much on this site and others, I will gladly remain single, chaste and free of chaos.
September 10, 2007 at 9:23 pm
KateM said,
You are a great writer.
mruffolo,
I am very sorry about what you, and so many other men, have gone through because of the whim or forethought of a woman.
With much of what you say I agree but I do not understand what you mean by, “That sometimes good women do bad things motivated by government incentives.” If she is a good woman, why would she do bad things for any reason?
Zebster,
Thank you for your support. The women many men speak of here make today’s environment very difficult for me as well.
emarel,
I truly understand the heart of what you write but there are some of us who don’t think the way you suggest. It might be very few of us, but we are out here.
September 10, 2007 at 9:29 pm
amfortas said,
All you could do to add to it is to find a paragraph for ‘i’ and ‘e’, to insert before the S.
That phrase - “”…whether or not a man gets hosed is entirely dependent on the character and actions of the women he’s with.” is spot on too. But who looks for character in woman anymore? Last time I heard ‘Character’, Martin Luther King was saying it. It is a word burned and buried by feminists. Women can be whatever they want and most chose to be characterless bigots who operate on automatic misandry.
I have great sympathy for the KateM’s of the world and the Teris, the Jens, the other women who sometimes come here in support and to add their piece. They are so few they must be terribly lonely. It is all very well to hold out the hope of finding such women but needle-searches in Manhatten sized haystacks springs to mind.
By the way, Ed’s mate in Nebraska puts a whole new perspective on ‘Fuck You Money’.
September 11, 2007 at 12:34 am
Marc H. Rudov said,
As I see it, and I’ve written about this before, the divorce rate and out-of-wedlock birthrate translate into an abundance of fatherless homes. Girls grow up never getting daily discipline from strong men, never hearing the word no. The Uranus Dads (see my article: “And Dad Is Uranus”) overcompensate by overspoiling their daughters. The boys grow up as self-loathing empty shells of human beings.
Watch a man around a teenage girl who throws a tantrum. Watch a man around a woman who’s crying. Watch a man around a woman who’s screaming. What does he do? Anything to make it stop. THAT, coupled with what I wrote in the previous paragraph, is why women have all the rights. In my mind, women are not to blame — they are just taking what men are giving them.
MEN HAVE NO BALLS. If a man can’t handle a woman at the restaurant table, he can’t handle her on the Senate floor. I have a friend who’s a limo driver. He told me about all the “powerful” men — including Congressmen, governors, businessmen, and athletes — he drives. Powerful? They all are pussies around their girlfriends and wives, he told me. It doesn’t take rocket science to understand why women have all the rights!
September 11, 2007 at 10:23 am
DaPoet said,
September 15, 2007 at 1:17 pm