Women Who Batter, Proudly
Chivalrous men resist the image, but it’s a problem that has become so pervasive that we must summon up the courage to face it – an epidemic of women who pummel their husbands and boyfriends.
A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that among physically aggressive couples, 71% of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were female. And last year Renee McDonald of Baylor University published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology with almost identical results.
What’s going on, ladies?
The problem isn’t just gals who clean their boyfriends’ clock in a drunken rage. These high-testosterone females abuse their men and then come clean with a swaggering braggadocio.
A few months ago ABC Primetime did an experiment. The producers hired two actors –male and female – to feign partner violence in a public park. They wanted to see what passers-by would do when they spotted the woman pounding her boyfriend with a rolled-up newspaper. [http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2741047]
Most persons paused, then cast a “it’s not my problem” shrug. But one young lass was caught on camera doing a pumped-fist “atta-woman” salute. You go, girl!
That would never happen in real life, right?
Consider superstar singer Amy Winehouse. Married to Blake Fielder-Civil, she now admits that she uses him as a “punch-bag.” “I’ll beat up Blake when I’m drunk. … If he says one thing I don’t like then I’ll chin him,” she brags.
I recently came across a website called Jezebel.com. Jezebel is one of those tell-all websites run by women who flaunt tattoos that declare, “I know what I want and I know how to get it.”
Recently a Jezebel editor named Slut Machine posted a cheeky piece called, “Have you Ever Beat up a Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have.” Let’s put it this way — the column brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “female empowerment.”
Ms. Machine confided that one her co-editors had overheard her boyfriend flirting on the phone, “so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck” Another smacked a guy when he tenderly revealed to her “he thought he had breast cancer.” As an afterthought she wrote, “that one made us laugh really hard.”
[http://jezebel.com/gossip/domestic-disturbances/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383.php]
I was certain that such brazen admissions would draw howls of protest from persons who know full well that “there’s no excuse for domestic violence.” Well, this is what they said:
Probationer announced to her on-line Sisterhood, “Yeah, I’ve punched the shit out of a guy. But I don’t like to brag.”
Fromthetulleshed bragged, “I’ve had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex.
If I saw him again, I don’t think I’d be able to restrain myself.”
Some thought assaulting a guy was downright hilarious: “I bounced an alarm clock off my husband’s head from across the room once. I haven’t been able to find a decent alarm clock since,” lamented Kwindsorfish.
And Sparkle proved you don’t have to be physical to be abusive: “I try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. … But I just couldn’t keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of ‘ignoring’ him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all.”
When it came to the fact that female abusers often use weapons or the element of surprise to compensate for their smaller size, the women seemed clueless. JoanCrawford revealed, “My Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6’3” about 195 lbs.; she was 5’ and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs. Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?”
Creative excuses were de rigueur. Goupie reasoned, “I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it.” Azi’s comment, “I have to say I think he may have had it coming,” was the most common pretext.
And Crocodile Tears of remorse were shed by the bucket-full. Washionfore confessed, “I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it’s abusive.”
Actress Sally Field recently received an Emmy Award for best actress. During her acceptance speech she boasted that women are of the peace-loving kind, crudely shouting, “And, let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no [expletive deleted] wars in the first place.”
But based on the gleeful comments of the naughty Jezebel girls, somehow I don’t think Miss Field’s act is ready for prime time.
| More from Carey Roberts
Stumble It!
October 5th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I’m tempted to print out the thread and hand it out on campus. It sure would be amusing to see the reaction.
October 5th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Thom, go right ahead. Yield to the temptation to tell the truth. Put it on campus notice-boards. While you are at it, stick some up on police station notice boards too.
But don’t look for laughs.
October 6th, 2007 at 1:04 am
I strongly encourage handing it around campus. But it should not be done to get a “reaction”. This is real serious stuff. Anyone on campus who thinks its funny should be reminded that women beating on men is the case in over half of all domestic violence.
Campus men and women will have to “out” this issue. The evil of silence about this problem is the portender of the future — most men lose their families and life savings later in life to false allegations in divorce courts (the Duke Rape Case is an obvious example of where the artillery of the legal system is pointed).
Campus men MUST stop buying the feminist myths. Men should be unafraid to talk about it when they are being hit. In fact, they should record these things and taking it to campus police, the President’s office, and the Student governing body. Women who are abusive do it at predictable places and times. Guys in these relationships should carry a small digital recorder on them at all times and be prepared to use it to protect themselves from being accused of violence (campus feminists are famous for this). In your room, a carefully placed videocam (with remote) can be used to get it all easily.
Men should not sit around for feminist hate activities such as “Take Back the Night” (colleges certainly wouldn’t let whites do a “Take Back the Night” directed at blacks!!!).
And campus women must learn to be responsible and haul off any woman who is abusing her boyfriend.
October 6th, 2007 at 6:49 am
Thom. You mention bringing this thread to campus!! Thats a very important front in this information battlefield!!
Were planning a major reach out campaign on universities with the headlines…
FALSELLY ACCUSSED DUKE LACCROSSE BOYS
FILE A CIVIL RIGHTS LAWSUIT AGAINST THE DURHAM
KLAN THAT WERE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH TO PUT
INNOCENT MEN IN JAIL FOR A RAPE THAT SIMPLY
NEVER HAPPENNED!!!
GOTO. menscollegeactivist.com
The dukes of durham are going to start to make it costly to adhere to feminist Klan hysteria to the detriment of equal protection under the law for men/fathers/boys..
October 7th, 2007 at 7:16 am
for the 100th time:
the oppressor can be the only oppressor. the oppressed can not be the oppressor nor can commit, by definition, an oppressive act against their oppressors. in other words, dogs on a chain bear no responsibility.
once you or anyone gets this line of logic, then a whole lot of behaivors fall neatly into it rather than sit as an incomprehensible set of outragous acts. in this case they are doing what ‘they believe’ their oppressors have done to all women before, as says their herstory, and being that this is an act of equality, its well within their proper rights to do so.
if they didnt think this, how could they say openly and brazenly that this is what they do? if they didnt believe that this was how all men were in the past, then how can they create a future that is exactly that way, but reversed?
October 15th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
I used to teach self-defense but during one melt down with an abusive girl friend, surprise, I was bashed in the face, … she had horrible things happen to her in the past that made her periodically nuts just like many of those who resort to violence do. If I hadn’t been sexually abuses as a boy by an older female, and abused for years by my mother, I would have not been so messed up that I just took it for longer than I should have… just like some women do, and size doesn’t matter.
Felt suicidal the last time around, then left for good. Therapy, a good woman, and time helped heal (mostly) and I grew past those wounds. I did realize that if not for some luck I would have shot myself just like many men do. For some reason it’s a big laugh when men are hurt and noone considers the psychological damage that happens to the tens of thousands of men brought up in America with abusive women in control of their early lives. Few consider that the higher male suicide rates might be somewhat related to early child abuse and later domestic violence. Hey, it’s just guys, no big deal, … but don’t you ever raise your voice, or “push” a women, because we all know how f—-n serious that is and there is never an excuse for DV, unless of course you are a woman and then it’s never your fault, – it’s he made me do it, or the patriarchy made me crazy.
Glad to see more men and women willing to stop all DV. How the heck do they plan on stopping DV when we pretend it’s OK for children to see their fathers being slapped around, kicked, but not ok if that happens to the sugar and spice crew.
SD
PS The Press Democrat, Santa Rosa, CA had a great letter to the editor Sunday Oct 14 titled “Gender Violence” and it’s worth trying to find it if you can.