Going to a Strip Club Is Domestic Violence?
“[Going to a strip club] is ABUSE. It is no different from hiring a hooker for sex except that you don’t stick it in…the man did deserve an ashtray in his skull (or perhaps the loss of one important piece he needs to get excited for strippers)…”
Syndicated columnist Amy Alkon (aka “The Advice Goddess”) often emails me amazing stories, and this one is no exception. Recently one of Alkon’s readers sent her the following letter:
“My husband of two months has always treated me very well, and is usually thoughtful. But, one week before our wedding, he broke a promise. I hate the whole stripper thing, so he agreed to a coed party at a dueling piano bar. There was a strip club next door, but he promised he wouldn’t go in. All was well until I learned that he and his brother (who’s nothing but trouble) were at the strip club. I went over and went crazy and tossed an ashtray at his head. I was kicked out, they followed, and his brother yelled at me. I wanted to call off the wedding, but we still got married. Since then, I keep bringing this up and he keeps begging for forgiveness, saying he’d never been so drunk, and he didn’t know what he was doing. I just can’t understand how he could hurt me this way.–Still So Angry Inside”
“If your husband tossed an ashtray at your head, do you think he’d be describing himself as ‘Still So Angry Inside’ or ‘Still In Court Trying To Get The Charges Reduced’?
“It doesn’t take much for domestic violence against men to be taken seriously…usually, just a chalk outline where a man’s body used to be. The rest of the time, people tend to shrug it off or even find it cute: ‘Well, well, well, she’s quite the firecracker!’ Granted, male abusers can do much more damage with their fists, but put a heavy object in a woman’s hands, and good morning brain damage!”
Alkon then received the letter below:
“I just had to write back over this one. My mother sends me your articles and this one just set me off. Just like the woman whose husband went to a strip club, so did my husband of 10 years (we have 3 kids together). I have to say that I had much the same reaction as she did. I do not advocate any type of abuse from either side of a relationship, but going to a strip club IS JUST THAT….ABUSE. It is no different from hiring a hooker for sex except that you don’t stick it in. I find it disgusting that you attack this woman for her reaction, and then advocate this strip club behavior as ‘normal’…I think the man did deserve an ashtray in his skull ( or perhaps the loss of one important piece he needs to get excited for strippers)…This behavior should not be legal ANYWHERE…”
Alkon’s full post, including her response, can be seen here.
[Note: If you or someone you love is being abused, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families.]
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I have always wondered what accountability the stripper should carry being that she is the service provider.
She benefits financially, yet is blameless.
“The stripper story is why the Republican Party is controlled by feminists.
They are called the anti-sex feminists by the erotic industry.”
Jim, if you mean the Christian Right, I agree with you. Christians are suspicious of all male sexuality. Here in Virginia, the buckle of the Bible Belt, we learned that the hard way.
Let’s not forget about the female side of the equation: emotions. They share their emotions all of the time, not just with their men. Look at the chick flicks and soap operas. This is a form of cheating not recognized by feminists. Women LOVE to cry and love sharing it. It’s cheating.
The reason they don’t like porn is low self esteem. In their minds, their men are comparing them to what they are looking at. I have NEVER compared my woman to any other; there is no comparison. It’s like comparing two sports cars that are exactly alike except for color. A car is a car and a woman is a woman. The difference is, you commit to the red one, and you commit to your woman. What’s wrong with fantasizing about driving a blue one, or having sex with a red-head?
I firmly believe that, as men are biologically programmed to spread “seed” to as many women as possible, porn is a safe outlet for this need. Yes, it’s a form of cheating, but it’s NOT cheating. There is no danger of pregnancy or disease.
Men need to bring this to the table when agreeing to live with / marry a woman, but at that time the woman is the only one on their mind. The “cheating” factor is nil or at an extreme minimum. Women should just get over it and accept that this is a safe form of cheating, and probably enhances their love life. They should go into a relationship knowing this is probably going to happen. and accept it.
The stripper story is why the Republican Party is controlled by feminists.
They are called the anti-sex feminists by the erotic industry.
But they are just a different branch of feminism…a different brand of the same thing, like Salem and Marlboro.
The stripper problem is one of jealousy of the competition.
It is exactly equal to the problem with international dating websites and why IMBRA sailed through Congress.
Many woman throw a fit if their husbands look at a men’s magazine. “ABUSE”. The fact that the average woman’s magazine has twice as many naked women and women in lingerie as most men’s mags do is quite ignored.
A man will be sentenced in the next 12 months for reading. Some women will applaude and a lawyer will buy a new car.
I’m getting sick and tired of combating the feminist klan using facts and statistics!!
I’m begining to see what ESTHER VILAR was saying in her bestseller..”the manipulated male”
She says emotional pleas to women about right and wrong are futile because women are simply more callous than are men!!
…So with this new revelation..Im considering starting a new website with the domain name of… Anti. OAFS.org
OAFS..meaning sows..But also an acronym for
Organizations
Against the
Father
4.Ouderkirk.
You provided a story that many of us were not aware of. I also was not aware of Michigan Rape Shield Law prohibiting cros examination at trial While Mike Nifong rush to judgment of Duke University students got a taste of his own medicine, some his defenders pointed out that VAWA prohibits polygraph examination of alleged rape victim. (I have not seen that section of VAWA).
Wrongful conviction, even with a short sentence, result in Internet registry and reporting your address and workplace to registry.
This Halloween a story in newspaper reports that sex offenders have to post “No trick or treat” sign and turn their porch lights out. (If he can find a home)
In the neigboring county a cleaning lady alleged that a lawyer had touched her breast while passing by. After the conviction the lawyer killed himself.
Link to Halloween story of police and parole agents cheking list of registry
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/baltimore_city/bal-md.ci.pedophile31oct31,0,4891415.story
Thank you, Ouderkirk for providing information on the case of William Hetherington.
Such an appalling, sickening travesty of justice!……..
It’s precisely this sort of case that shows just how little regard for due process American men receive in courts of law.
“The judge used Michigan’s new Rape Shield Law to prohibit cross-examination of Linda.”
Thanks to the feminazis!…….
“They have created a judicial system where the woman must always be believed even though she has no evidence, one in which the man is always guilty.”
The old Soviet courts would have been proud of the way that Hetherington’s fate was sealed, the moment that his scumbag of a wife lied to the police.
William J. Hetherington has been incarcerated in Michigan prisons for more than 20 years for having sex with his wife Linda. In 1986, he became the first man in Genesee County convicted of the new Michigan crime called spousal rape.
Linda was not a battered wife; she testified at the trial that he had never beaten her in their 16 years of marriage. Hetherington was honorably discharged from the U.S. Air Force, received a National Defense Service Medal, and had no police record of any sort.
The sentencing guideline for this new offense was 12 months to 10 years. But, without showing cause, the judge sentenced him to 15 to 30 years (twice the time served by the average convicted rapist in Michigan). Twenty years later, despite an exemplary prison record, the parole board routinely refuses to parole him, giving as its sole reason “prisoner denies the offense.”
Hetherington has always maintained his innocence. It was a he-said-she-said case during a custody battle; he said it was consensual sex, she said it was rape. The judge used Michigan’s new Rape Shield Law to prohibit cross-examination of Linda.
No physical evidence of rape was produced at the trial. A pelvic examination of Linda at the hospital three hours after the alleged offense showed no evidence of injury or forced penetration. Apparently, what persuaded the jury to convict was the testimony of two police officers that they had observed tape marks on Linda’s face.
The court-designated psychologist who examined Hetherington, Harold S. Sommerschield, concluded: “This is not a man who would force himself sexually or hostilely on another individual, as this would be foreign to his personality dynamics. … his histrionic personality … would substantiate his explanation of what has occurred in regards to the relationship with his ex-wife.”
The rape charge was prosecuted simultaneously with the custody case, and the divorce court had frozen all Hetherington’s assets so he had no money to hire a lawyer or make bond. Nevertheless, the criminal court ruled that he was not indigent and refused to provide him with a lawyer.
For 12 years, the court refused to provide Hetherington with a transcript of the trial. Without funds, he was unable to buy one, so he was effectively denied his right of appeal, and no appeal has ever been heard on the substance of this case.
At the sentencing, prosecutor Robert Weiss called Hetherington’s alleged offense equivalent to “first-degree murder” and falsely accused him of beating Linda. Weiss was running for a judgeship. Observers sized up his prejudicial statements as grandstanding for support from feminists.
Linda walked away with custody of their three daughters, the marital home, and all marital assets.
Ten years after Hetherington’s conviction, a volunteer attorney, Jeff Feldman, using the Freedom of Information Act, obtained copies of five photographs taken of Linda by police at the alleged crime scene immediately after the alleged offense. The photographs were in a locker in a police garage. The prosecution had never disclosed them to the defense.
The photographs were then examined by a forensic photographer John Avlor in Miami using all modern techniques. Valor’s four-page notarized report detailed his impressive expertise, including service as the lead forensic photographer in the trial of serial killer Ted Bundy.
Valor’s sworn statement, dated Jan. 8, 1998, states that the pictures of Linda showed absolutely no scratches, tape marks or abnormalities of any kind, and that marks would have been clearly visible if there had been any. If a government witness gives false testimony a convicted prisoner should be entitled to a new trial. But Hetherington didn’t get one.
Years later, a completely unsolicited letter was sent to the parole board by Melissa Anne Suchy, who had been employed by Linda as a baby sitter. Suchy’s letter is hearsay but has the ring of authenticity.
Suchy wrote that Linda told her she made up the story about rape because she was then pregnant with the baby of her boyfriend. Linda said that her boyfriend pushed her to press rape charges, saying that she would have to “get rid of Hetherington or he wouldn’t take care of the baby.”
Over the years, several pro bono lawyers and concerned citizens have tried to secure a pardon or a parole for Hetherington, but Michigan appears determined to make him serve 30 years because he won’t admit guilt and because the bureaucracy won’t admit it made a mistake.
Almost everyone who reads the record of what happened to William Hetherington concludes that he was unjustly accused, unjustly convicted, unjustly sentenced, unjustly denied his due process and appeal rights, unjustly denied a new trial based on physical evidence of inaccurate testimony by government witnesses, and unjustly denied parole.
A man’s life has been sacrificed, and three children have been denied their father by malicious feminists who have lobbied for laws that punish spousal rape just like stranger rape and deny a man the right to cross-examine his accuser. They have created a judicial system where the woman must always be believed even though she has no evidence, one in which the man is always guilty.
2.college activist
You’re right.Several years ago some states made “marital rape” a crime. Some woman who wants to get rid of her husband, seduces him into bed and then calls it attempted rape. It the husband is convicted, after prison he may have to register rest of his life as a “sex offender”
…IT”S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!..IT”S ALL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!…WE NEED TO RATCHET UP THE HYSTERIA A FEW MORE NOTCHES!!!
And women wonder why they’re so often considered to be “logically-challenged”…..
Basically, what the woman in question means is that ANY form of behavior by men which THEY (women) do not approve of constitutes “abuse”.
If going to a strip club is “abuse”, then a much stronger argument could be made that taking one’s husband’s ATM and credit cards on a shopping trip ALSO constitutes “abuse”!