I’ve often discussed the inequities against men in the domestic violence system. William Stoneking (pictured), a male victim of domestic violence, has experienced them. His book The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father’s Struggle describes his fight to navigate through the DV and family law system to protect his relationship with his daughter.
In the excerpt below, Stoneking describes what happens when his former wife, whom we’ll call “Susan,” was physically attacking him and the police arrived. While Stoneking was not seriously injured by his wife’s attacks, I find it hard to believe that the police would have treated the case the same way were the genders reversed.ÂÂ
Excerpted from The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father’s Struggle
By William Stoneking
[After I questioned her on where our money was being spent] she attacked me, hitting my back, smacking the back of my head and trying to rip my arms off. Someone obviously had something to hide. She knocked me down on the bed and then onto the floor. I grabbed the phone and called 911…She had left some really nice marks on my arms and I was going to press charges of domestic battery. She hadn’t changed her abusive behavior and the only way she’d change was to be arrested. I talked to the 911 operator and told her what was going on and that Susan was going ballistic.
I went downstairs to the front door with the cordless phone while I was talking to the dispatcher and the dispatcher told me that help would be on the way… Two Kansas City squad cars arrived at my residence and I told them what was going on. I told them I wanted to press charges for domestic battery and they looked at the marks on my arm and told me that was ‘incidental contact.’ I was floored…The officers went and talked to her and she had no marks on her. They asked for my license and within a few minutes I was being placed under arrest. (more…)
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