The Little Girl Died of Cancer, but the Ex’s Vindictiveness Lived on…
I recently stumbled across this article from last year from the Children’s Rights Council’s publication. It’s unbelievable and, given the letters I get and the stories I hear, totally believable. Very, very sad.
CRC Member Loses Child
CRC member and child advocate Tim Dycus of Nebraska lost his 11-year-old daughter, Addie, to brain cancer on July 8, 2005. The day after the funeral, Tim learned that the funeral home had given cards and memorials left for the “Dycus Family” to the mother with the expectation that she share those with him.
Over many months, Tim and the funeral home spent considerable effort trying to get the child’s mother to share the cards left in memory of their daughter with Tim. He wanted to acknowledge and thank those people who were so gracious and compassionate to his family. Tim said that the mom refused to comply, and with her attorney, took the position that his rights to any information about Addie, including cards and memorials, terminated upon her death. They also stated that Tim was not entitled to any of Addie’s clothing to keep as mementos, as they stated that Addie’s personal property is the mother’s exclusive property. Since Tim was divorced, he had paid more than $70,000 in child support.
Tim attended almost all of Addie’s school, church, and recreational events including soccer, softball, and dance, in or out of town since her birth, and continually tried to get more time with his daughters but was confined to the typical every other weekend and a few hours on Wednesday evening.
In a request to the judiciary, the District Court in Adams County, Nebraska ruled for the mother. The court stated that the decision as to whether to share was up to her, stating Tim needed “to wait while the other parent processed and went through the grieving process.” She then ordered Tim to pay the majority of the mother’s attorney fees!
Tim is also grieving.
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November 7th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
A woman scorned. Sometimes I wonder about the “fairer sex” and the “sugar and spice” crew. Every day I read about men raping, killing, in big city newspapers, but if there is a crime of the heart, separating men from their children, in life or death, must rank right up there with no values or morality at all.
November 7th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Courts which refuse to even comtemplate being humane do not deserve our respect or support or approval. This man has been grievously hurt, by a natural though catastrophic loss of his child, after losing her in life, and by a vengeful, inhumane ex-wife, who is no doubt going through her own form of grief, and he has appealed to a Court for sensitivity and sense. He got neither. Worse, he was saddled with her expenditures. Pile it on.
I know your attitude, Glenn, to Darren Mack. There are Judges who through their own considered action deserve an FMJ, even if we sit at the side-line decrying the necessity.
November 7th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
For men, the best they can get out of courts is the letter of the law. But, for women (only) is reserved the spirit of the law (in addition to outright injustice as in the Mary Winkler case).