The Cure for PMS
Sinking Feeling
More than 95 years ago, the RMS Titanic sank on its maiden voyage after hitting a huge iceberg that ripped through its hull. The crew, too distracted and preoccupied with the ship’s beauty, didn’t notice the iceberg until it was too late. Accordingly, a man can suffer the same fate if he’s too distracted and preoccupied to take note of a woman’s icebergs.
Many believe that a man and woman must spend a couple of years together before knowing each other well enough to cohabit or marry. I say they need only a couple of weeks. That’s all. Here’s my claim: After spending one solid fortnight in each other’s company, new lovebirds will see, hear, and feel evidence of all the icebergs that will sink them — if they act naturally and don’t tiptoe around on eggshells to impress each other.
Unfortunately, one of two human failings is at play here: not recognizing an iceberg (she’s an emotional clam) or choosing to ignore it altogether (I shouldn’t be so judgmental). Ask anyone after a recent breakup why his relationship didn’t last — whether it endured three months or three years — and, he’ll admit, with a sinking feeling, that he saw the problem immediately after meeting her but chose to overlook it.
Because I make my views known publicly, I receive lots of feedback from men and women around the world. As a frequent TV guest, I get courtesy limousine service to and from the stations. My limo drivers, who also serve international politicians, athletes, celebrities, and businesspeople, tell amazing stories about these luminaries. Consequently, I am bombarded with people’s personal sagas, some of which are shocking and sad. What’s fascinating is that, regardless of our occupations or wealth, we’re all quite similar.
The common thread running through all of our relationships: we see the warning signs — the icebergs — early on and choose to ignore them. Then, we spend the remaining months and years reinforcing this self-deception. This happens because our parents and teachers and clergy socialize us to focus on people’s good attributes and minimize their negative ones. As I pointed out in The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women, this is terrible advice. Icebergs sink ships.
Princess Mentality Syndrome
Weighing all the input from others, and factoring in my personal experience, I’ve concluded that a man will face no female iceberg more destructive than PMS: princess mentality syndrome. PMS makes a woman feel entitled to special rights, privileges, chivalry, and pedestals — just like a princess. PMS causes men to suffer headaches, cramped lifestyles, bloated expenses, low self-esteem, and bleeding of cash. Her PMS is nonsense and totally avoidable. If you suffer from it, you do so by choice.
What causes PMS? The two-word reflexive response men give to women: “Yes, dear.” In a nutshell, fathers initiate PMS; boyfriends and husbands perpetuate it. Allow me to illustrate PMS in its two basic forms: teenage girl and adult woman. Notice that, in each form, PMS cannot exist without a man’s endorsement. Do either of these scenarios look familiar to you? PMS is an iceberg that will sink your ship. Ignore it at your peril.
The next time you see a man in a TV commercial or TV sitcom being portrayed as a buffoon, remind yourself that such negative male depictions are direct results of millions of men tolerating PMS, by saying “Yes, dear.” Such obsequious male behavior is duplicated and institutionalized everywhere from universities to corporations to newspapers to restaurants to bedrooms to courtrooms — all the way to the Senate floor, where Joe “Yes, Dear” Biden convinced his colleagues to enact VAWA and reauthorize it three times. The “VAWA Iceberg” — and all misandrist legislation — is directly derived from PMS.
The NoNonsense Bottom Line
PMS is the worst iceberg you’ll ever face in your life, because it is insidious and seemingly harmless at first glance. But, most of its mass — and potential harm — lies below the surface. Do you see PMS on your horizon? Will you avoid it in time or inevitably crash into it? Or, is it too late to ask?
Visualize Leonardo DiCaprio, playing Jack Dawson, hanging on for dear life at the end of the movie Titanic. He didn’t survive. He froze to death, sacrificing himself for the woman he loved. Did you ever sacrifice yourself for the woman you love, or for a woman you once loved? How’d that work out for you? Did you ever sacrifice yourself for a woman you didn’t love? Was this voluntary or court-ordered? How did that work out for you?
There is a simple cure for PMS. Two words: “No, dear.” That’s how you avoid the iceberg. Do you have the balls to say them? If so, you will change your life, overnight. If, however, you won’t take the PMS cure, you’ll end up like Jack Dawson. You probably won’t freeze to death, literally, but you might emotionally and financially. Will that make you feel any better?
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.
Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.
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Stumble It!
November 18th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
..I’m finding more and more women are searching desperatelly for a man who has his own interests and can stand up for themselves!!…With the modern American castration of males..these womens searches are in vain!!
…A man who can say “get a grip on youreself” to his girlfriend is a man who has not been neutered, and women are attracted to bold men like someone drowning grabs a life preserver!!
November 18th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
He may have hit on a new slogan for the Men’s Rights Movement:
Don’t Sacrifice Yourself For the Woman You Don’t Love
I saw the film “Kate and Leopold” with my Russian girlfriend again last night. This modern NY woman was looking for an old fashioned guy and found one…but I never believed the part of the old fashioned guy (from another century) falling for her as well.
That movie has a schizophrenic dichotomy:
1) Modern feminist woman wants a man’s man and not a metrosexual.
2) Expects that man’s man to respect feminists and to want to date her
So the movie was “chick fantasy” for the baby boomer women viewer market.
November 18th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
“There is a simple cure for PMS. Two words: “No, dear.” That’s how you avoid the iceberg. Do you have the balls to say them? If so, you will change your life, overnight. If, however, you won’t take the PMS cure, you’ll end up like Jack Dawson. You probably won’t freeze to death, literally, but you might emotionally and financially. Will that make you feel any better?”
Marc, you have a gift for saying clearly in a few words what so many need to hear. I will go a little further if I might: Women are not our saviors, and are probably not even our friends. That may be sad, but it is still the case.
November 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
“Don’t Sacrifice Yourself for the Woman You Don’t Love” is good but shouldn’t that be “Don’t Sacrifice Yourself for the Woman You Don’t Love…or for the Woman You Do love Either!”
“No, dear!” is a good one too but I’m still partial to Rhett Butler’s parting words to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
Whichever we use the bottom-line is the same: American women have grossly inflated egos and expectations and no sense of responsiblity towards men.
They need to be re-educated NOW! Saying, “No” with or without the “dear”
is a reat place to start.
(As I’m writing this, one of those greedy Christmas jewelry ads just came on. I love the one that ends with the woman saying, “I love this man! I love this man” after she has just received a rock from him. A couple days later she’ll be back to being the same old…what is that word again?)
November 18th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Elegantly simple, articulate and above all relevant advice for Western men….
Marc shows uncommon good sense in a society that seems to have largely lost that quality.
Mind you, I’m not certain that most American entitlement princesses rate the word “dear” directly after “No!”, as Gus points out.
November 18th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
it’s a lot easier to get financially independent w/o some princess spending every dime you will ever make before you make it. speaking from experience here.
paying someone else gobs of money to raise children you weren’t ready for isn’t the way to financial independence either. again, experience.
working for years to accumulate something and have it given to a princess in “family” court only wastes your life. oh yes, me again.
odds are against young people today making a marriage work. so why bother? if you must get married wait until you get older and financially independent and able to better understand what marriage entails. also, you can get you a younger woman you have grown to know w/o all the bitter baggage that comes w/ the older broads. some of my friends that married young and are still married (very few left) look like they are w/ their gigantic mothers when you see them out carrying her bags, shopping. yeah, where do i sign up for that?
November 18th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
…The costs and burdens of marraige for men seem to have risen over the last 50 years!!..like a pot of boiling water, It was so slow that no-one really notices until the water starts boiling over the sides!!
November 19th, 2007 at 2:14 am
c.a. – don’t know about that far back, 50 yrs? it seems that marriages pretty much worked in the 50’s. the late 60’s brought feminism and men viewed as demons. “all men are rapists” mentality came along early 70’s, i think. women can do no wrong divorce court definitely existed in the 70’s. it became so obvious that women were being naughty and still getting rewarded in divorce court that they invented no fault divorce. then she could still be rewarded w/o it looking so one-sided. federal matching funds really put a lock on the cell door, so to speak. the abomination of the present “family” court system definitely evolved. it would be interesting to track this spiral we took into femihell. maybe some ambitious college student could do some research and write a paper. maybe ms gandy could help w/ the exact dates.
November 19th, 2007 at 8:36 am
daveinga…I’ve written a few research papers full of male friendly facts that shocked professor and students!!
…I tell you man, my stomach was turning as I presented one of my papers to the entire class!!…shock and dismay when i presented the fact that boys are now committing suicide at 5 times the rate of our girls, and it seems politically incorrect to discuss it!!
..Or the fact that “contrary to popular hysteria” with all the anti-male rhetoric you would think that women have short brutish lives of oppression in this country….But did you know men in 1920 died 1 year earlier, and are now dying on average 6 years earlier!!
…I went on, and on, with a classroom that was almost in shock!!
Although my spelling and grammer were a little challenged, the content and substance got me an A in both classes….And I’m prepared to throw another wrench in anti-male hysteria Academia next semester!!
November 19th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Marc –
Thank you for your advice; now that I’ve started reading and understanding – actually LISTENING to what women say, I have shut down numerous potentially disastrous dates/relationships early because of the icebergs you mention.
Talking on the phone with one woman this weekend, she says: “When I get married the FIRST thing I’m going to do is quit my job and be a stay at home wife! Working for a living is NOT FUN!”
I made a mental note and said not a word. At the end of the conversation I told her that things weren’t going to work between us and that we were done. She was stunned and confused, insisting that I tell her WHY.
I did not tell her, because she would probably hide her idiocy in front of the next guy; if he’s listening he’ll hear her greed and send her packing too.
As I hung up, I quietly said: “Thank you Marc!”
November 19th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Excellent.
Marc-
I emailed Neil Cavuto asking him why in the polling results of your last debate with Lis Wiehl that the results started out 64% Lis to 36% Marc and never changed. I doubt my own vote even got counted. Perhaps Lis made Neil rig the poll results and Neil did not have the balls to say “No dear”.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Eventually PMS (the princess syndrome) leads to PWS, Pushy Woman Syndrome.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
rast4406,
Thanx for the note. I’m pleased that I was helpful to you and that you now are LISTENING to women.
BUT, you should have told her what you think. Women MUST hear men say “No, dear.” The problem is men keep their mouths shut, further perpetuating the situation.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Denis,
Yes, the Fox News poll has been broken since minute one. I’ve raised the issue with Fox News. Also, the people on my mailing list wrote to him at cavuto@foxnews.com. Sometimes, these things happen.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
The “Adult Women” you-tube video was the best laugh I had all day
. This PMS is one of the biggest problems facing men. It is also an area of concern in which each of us can rectify by changing our attitudes towards women. Stop treating females as princesses and they will stop expecting to be treated as such. That includes fathers, husbands, boyfriends, and acquaintances. They will consider you mean and heartless at first, but eventually they will learn to accept it.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Marc –
I see what you’re saying about women needing to hear the word, “No.”, and I strenuously agree.
Having said that, my past experiences have taught me that people don’t normally change much in any meaningful or fundamental way. I truly suspect she’d just make a mental note to avoid saying she wanted to be a housewife until the gaff hook of her love was truly and surely imbedded in some schmuck’s chest.
It’s selfish, but while it might do society as a whole good to let her know she’s not that special, I just don’t feel much inclined to try to fix some self-centered woman that I’ll have no further dealings with.
Perhaps a bit of a quandary?
November 19th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
rast4406,
Voicing an objection is not tantamount to changing her. But, you MUST vocalize your objections.
Imagine if the princess with whom you spoke had heard “NO” from every man she ever met. Do you think she would have pulled the PMS routine on you? Of course not. The reason she pulled it on you is that all the men she has met previously have condoned her behavior — both vocally and silently.
The next time you meet a princess, let her know how you feel.
November 21st, 2007 at 7:17 am
marc…isn’t “sometimes, these things happen” just about the same as “it is what it is”? if you remember our e-mail conversation last week.
November 21st, 2007 at 7:22 am
i am just sayin’, both suggest that in some instances , it is almost out of our control to change or rectify. i admit you got me with the is what it is thing. how about the fox poll? love ya anyway.