Phallus or Trailer Hitch?
Dollar Signs in Her Eyes
There’s a bottom-line question every man must ask himself about the woman in his life: Does she view me as a phallus or a trailer hitch? If you’re on the fence about it, allow me to suggest a test query: Will she be in your bed tomorrow if you stop wining & dining her? Now, if you stop having sex with her and she remains in your bed, it means, Mr. Trailer Hitch, that her phallus sleeps across town.
When you began dating her, you acted like a trailer hitch, bragged about being a good trailer hitch — showing her photos of your cars, plane, yacht, summer home, ski chalet, and private jet — and now you’re shocked to realize that she’s been along for the financial ride from the start? Didn’t you see the dollar signs in her eyes? Give me a break. As I explained in my book, Under the Clitoral Hood, women are aroused by men, not money. Never mistake avarice for arousal.
How many times have I heard women proclaim themselves strong, tough, and smart — and not in need of men’s money — only to admit a few breaths later that they are receiving alimony? More than I can count. Perhaps that’s why so many of them carry Louis Vuitton bags: they need space, expensive space, to hold all their double standards.
The Greater Good
There exists no better example of a woman hitching herself to a man for a financial ride than Heather Mills, soon-to-be-ex-wife of former Beatle Paul McCartney. Heather wants $100M from Paul in a divorce settlement. She’s entitled to this much money why? And, to epitomize hypocrisy, Heather said the following to justify her avarice:
“Sadly, you have to mix at a certain level of people to raise the level of funds you need to bring about the greater good,” she said. “Because people are very snobby. These people who have lots of money, they’re either snobby or they’re stingy. If you have lots of money, you have to be stingy — because why would you want that amount of money?”
The greater good? Heather is referring to her own greater good and is, of course, totally full of it; everybody can see that. But, when you think about it, is Heather Mills that different from many women you enounter? Not really. It’s simply a matter of scale, determined by how much you earn. Heather Mills is greedy only because so many trailer hitches fuel her greed — in her social life as well as in the legislative, judicial, and executive branches of government.
The NoNonsense Bottom Line
When a woman at a bar expects you to purchase her drink, why is she behaving this way? Because she sees you as a trailer hitch. If you oblige her, she is correct. When a woman presumes that you’ll foot the bill for dinner, simply because she’s a woman, she sees you as a trailer hitch. And, if you choose to hook up, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself when your “travel expenses” escalate. The Estrogen Express is an expensive ride, but boarding it is a choice.
When you call AAA to pull your vehicle, you must pay for that haul. Why, then, does the typical man pay a woman to haul her? Because he’s insecure and knows nothing about the female libido. Wouldn’t AAA go bankrupt operating this way? Bingo. It’s no coincidence that marrying is called “getting hitched.”
How she sees you is directly connected to how you present yourself to her and what you’ll tolerate from her. So, are you her phallus or trailer hitch?
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized radio/TV personality and author of 70+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.
Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.
| More from Marc H. Rudov
Stumble It!
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:35 pm
“…..showing her photos of your cars, plane, yacht, summer home, ski chalet, and private jet “. I don’t think I shall be plagiarising that line!
Your lawyers can go back to scoffing their grub while you and I scoff at the very idea of yachts and summer homes. The snap of my private jet is by virtu(al) of Microsoft, and I don’t think anyone would be impressed by that.
Nevertheless, Marc, you hit the nail on the head. It seems wired in though, that we chaps fall into the ‘impression management’ in the most consumer-oriented way.
So, when did you stop doing it? Was there a moment of clarity when you were 30 or were you a precocious lad who grasped the nettle at 10, before the Tsunami of girl’s demands and alternative kiddies-with-lawn-mowing-rounds broke over your head. Was there a day when you opened your wallet only to find, once again but this time the last time, that there was the usual ten bucks short of the ‘needs’ she had, that had to be satisfied right then, and said “Fuck it, and fuck off”? Or did you suddenly find that putting your wallet away and whipping the old John Thomas out was the equivalent to the number 42?
These are deep questions.
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:28 pm
amfortas,
Ass-kissing women isn’t wired in — it’s socialized in. Just desocialize yourself of that ridiculous behavior.
The day you realize you need to change is the day you must begin to change. If you fail to change that day, you’re just a eunuch with no convictions or courage.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Marc, you are correct it is socialized. You don’t see female worship in Asia (not including India, and some American Indian cultures), Eastern Europe, Africa, Latin America, Latin Europe, or the Middle East. It is an Anglo-Saxon phenomenon, brought over to this country from England (via Victorian era). From there, it can be traced back to the nights of the round table and Sir Arthur (legend or real). Back then, chivalry may have been necessary, but today it’s a fool’s game. We need a Brothers United against chivalry, Club. We could call it B.U.C.; as in the BUC stops here. Brothers United Club to stop PMS.
December 4th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Marc,
I work in NYC every day and spend a great deal of social time there as well, and I can tell you that today’s single women are laughing all the way to the bank.
Women are making more money on average than their male counterparts now, at least in big cities. And they have plenty of dumb men at their disposal who are willing to pay for their social lives. It’s a game that women play well, from executives to administrative assistants.
This is how it works: A woman dates, and men pay. She gives sex to the good looking men, if they grovel enough. She does this for a while, and starts to narrow down her pool to the best looking man who will pay the most without asking her for too much in return. She will take a less handsome man if he pays more or makes more money than the better looking man, but it usually depends on what her physical beauty can get her.
Her other tools are varied, but include, primarily, relationship psychobabble and self-help nonsense, which she sprouts here and there to show that she is ‘enlightened.’ She might use religion-speak to show how ’spiritual’ she is. (Yes, for all you God-fearing men, there ARE gold-diggers in church!) Others give you their ‘hardship’ stories to show you how strong and independent they are. The really smart ones will convince you to show them your ’sensitive male’ side, allowing you to confide in them your deep dark secrets. Of course, all of this will be used against you if you cross her too seriously. And, BTW, all of these tools will be used during dates that you pay for.
Women know perfectly well that they are employing a double standard in today’s dating scene. They do it on purpose. That’s why they flip when you point it out. You’re messing with their game! You’re putting the kibbosh on their plans! They’re like bankrobbers who whip out their guns when the cops show up. What choice do they have but to hold court right there in the street? It’s either that or prison. (In this case, prison means that women will have to work for the rest of their lives, like men. And they NEVER wanted that.)
From experience, I can tell you that when you point out the double standard to almost any woman, even the most hirsute feminist, she will either rationalize, call you a cheapskate, or suddenly develop a Victorian outlook on relationships. If you try it with a group of women, they will gang up on you lest you spread your poison knowledge to other men. They KNOW they’re wrong, and they don’t care! You are a potential wrench in the works.
But if you don’t care how the women react, it can be great fun. After I’ve gotten a few of them screaming, I walk away laughing my ass off. You have to be careful for the ones with weapons, though.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
My bad, I meant the KKKnights of the round table.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
metalman……have you been reading some Esther Vilar???
December 4th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
If a man has to impress a woman with what he HAS instead of WHO HE IS, something is wrong.
Same thing the other way around.
Sure, I’m impressed with someone who has worked hard and gotten nice things, but it’s only one aspect of that person.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
the vicar…
the problem is men who refuse to be yoked…
Are competing against men who will eagerlly Act as a “trailor hitch” for her “estrogen express…”
alot of women will choose the trailor hitch!!!
December 4th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Well college activist, that would depend on the man and the woman.
The better the bait, the shorter the wait.
Just like fishing in many respects.
You’ll see….
December 4th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
..The next time i meet a women, I’m gonna ask her….
“listen babes..I’lle be straight up wth ya!! are you looking for a man..or for a trailor hitch???
December 4th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Metalman et al,
It’s as though you guys haven’t ever read anything I’ve written, ever watched me on TV, or ever heard me on the radio. I’ve been teaching men about female nonsense since 2003.
Come to http://www.TheNoNonsenseMan.com. Get real.
December 5th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Marc,
I don’t get your comment. A lot of the content within the replies here, including mine, indicate that we have, in fact, read at least some of your writing. Maybe you’re just trying to sell books.
My comments are very real, brother. I was there when I wrote them.