California NOW Launches ‘I Love Consensual Sex’ Campaign

2007-12-05
By

After years of staring across the battlefield at the National Organization for Women and other misguided women’s groups, I can usually predict what the feminists will do, but this one caught me by surprise. In a recent blog post on the California National Organization for Women’s website called “I Love Consensual Sex,” Mandy Benson, President of CANOW, writes:

“Oh yeah. Definitely. Absolutely. I really, really do. Yesssssssss…..I just love consensual sex.

“California NOW in partnership with chapters across the state are launching the I Love Consensual Sex campaign, hosting I Love Consensual Sex Day in April 2008 during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Most people don’t want to talk about rape, but lots of people want to talk about Consensual Sex. This campaign will open up communication about consent, asking and teaching people what consent is and how to ask for exactly what you want.

“Both Minneapolis NOW (who created this fabulous campaign. Thank you!) and NOW at SDSU have had outstanding success with the campaign. Hundreds of students at SDSU wore I Love Consensual Sex t-shirts raising consciousness and controversy. Many people really didn’t know the definition of ‘consent’, which probably accounts for some crazy percentage of the date rapes that happen at college parties, so we are also considering legislation that would require campuses to teach the definition of consent.

“Want to join the campaign? Want to create your own I Love Consensual Sex Day? Want a fabulous I Love Consensual Sex t-shirt, sticker, button? We want you involved, so just let us know. I want something too…I want to know, what is your definition of consent?”

Now that I’m off the floor, a few thoughts:

1) On a initial level, the campaign seems male-positive, and seems to acknowledge something that some feminists have had a hard time acknowledging–women enjoy having sex with men.

2) Predictably enough, my suspicion comes in when Benson alludes to a feminist definition of “consent.” In some ways feminist groups have done admirable work in helping rape victims. In many others they’ve tried to make the definition of rape so absurdly wide that many consensual sex scenarios fall under it. Feminists have also denied the large problem of false rape accusations, which has also caused great harm.

3) Benson asks feminist blog readers “What is your definition of consent?”–I wonder what those definitions would be?

4) If this marks a shift away from the exaggerations, distortions and rape hysteria of Sexual Assault Awareness Month and towards a more rational discussion about sex, young people, and consent, that’s a good thing. I still have a faint hope that the more positive, male-friendly feminism of the ’70s will come back and replace today’s anti-male feminism. A faint one.
 

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17 views

  • El Cid

    The question “What is consent?” is essential to defining rape where rape is defined as “lack of consent.” If you don’t know what consent is, it’s hard to know if you have consent–that is, whether what you did was “rape” or “consensual sex.”

    In most legal contexts, consent is well-defined. For example, signing a contract is a form of consent. But in rape law, it’s far murkier.

    Must consent be verbal? Or can it be in the form of “body language’?

    If a woman grants consent, can she take it back? When? Before, during, or after sex?

    Is consent an enforceable contract? In most legal contexts, it is. If you consent to a loan, the lender can enforce payment.

    Who has the burden of proof? Does the man have the burden of proving he had consent–if so, he is assumed guilty unless he can prove his innocence.

    Does the woman have the burden of proving she did not consent. If so, she must prove a negative–often a challenge.

    And do men have to consent to sex–or is their consent assumed by the law, at least when having sex with a woman? I don’t know of a case where a man has successfully brought rape charges against a woman because she failed to get his consent.

    If a drunk woman cannot consent to sex, can a drunk man?

    If a drunk woman is not responsible for consenting to sex, is she also not responsible for driving drunk and, say, killing someone in an accident? Same question for a drunk man.

    If consent defines the difference between “rape” and “consensual sex,” we need a very clear, legally defensible definition of consent. My observation is that such a definition is lacking.

  • mruffolo

    Sexuality put feminism on the map. In the 1960′s when feminist started the free sex movement, this was the beginning of the end for men’s rights – abortion, easy divorce, affirmative action. That American men got distracted by lusting for women. Men lost our moral authority to lead.

    I suspect that free, consentual sex is not free. Ask a divorced father. Further not paying for sex is main point of Marc Rudov message.

    A debt is created when a man lusts. And when kids are made, he will pay more.

    I observe that the more feminist’s advertise sex to get men’s attention the more we lose.

  • mhays8100

    I just want to know what is ‘sexual assault?’ I hear constantly in the news that ‘so and so was ‘sexually assaulted’ but they never say what the person did! It is all very confusing!

  • RScott

    There was a humurous video going around the web where a college age couple begins to get hot and heavy, leading to the question – at which point each turns to their legal counsel, who are in attendance, and the lawyers negotiate the terms of the pending sexual encounter, in detail, followed by a flurry of signing of documents, witnessing of signed documents, etc. before resumption of passion. I suspect the feminist definition of consent is not far from this – though the subject of “products” of the sex would also need to be addressed – the man consents upfront to comply with the woman’s abortion/adoption decisions. If he does NOT consent, then he should be considered a reproductive rape victim – like that is going to happen!

  • Big shooter

    Stay away from feminists- they are just looking for a reason, ANY REASON, to cry rape and stick it to a man.

  • http://MSN Tancredman

    Oh! So the nags @ NOW will now run a new national psycho-campaign celebrating consensual sex after YEARS of never-ending stereotypical negative campaigns of men as perpetual rape mongers to indoctrinate women into believing that every man around the corner has only aggressive sexual intentions at every possible moment.
    I’m not buying this one from these minority gender jibber monkeys.
    Honestly….Who cares?

  • Dustball

    OK, call me paranoid, but this whole “consensual sex” thing strikes me as a feeder into yet another NOW ploy to find yet another way to blame “the patriarchy” for yet another supposed grievous crime done to wymun, by men, yet again.

    The constant male bashing gets old after a while…

    To quote Ash (from: Army of Darkness): “It’s a trick, get an axe!”

  • BobH

    To El Cid:

    My compliments! That’s the best statement of the problems I’ve ever seen.

  • college activist

    mruffollo…A debt is created when a man lusts..

    …The older generation of males..”missplaced chivalry” The Idea that they are just “protecting women” by the funding of anti-male hysteria… Is takling it’s greatest toll on one segment of the population that is most vulnerable to this particular brand of “group think”…That is our young boys/men!!

    ..You’re generations perverted sense of chivalry …is choking my generation.. (the Falselly accussed generation) .

    ..The “falselly accussed” generation will lift you’re perverted sense of missplaced chivalry, and will in fact jail false rape/ domestic violence accussers!!






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