A man who does not make sure all I’s are dotted and T’s are crossed is in for a rude awakening today. Like attorneys always say, “If it ‘aint on paper, it doesn’t exist.” The system will use whatever excuse it can to confiscate and redistribute a man’s wealth, as can be seen in this example. That is all the family courts really are: a method of confiscating and redistributing wealth.

This poses a big problem for less educated men, who are apt to believe that the system is fair and who do not have access to expensive lawyers and advisers that are paid to look after their interests. This is exactly what the system relies on. Any man who has been through the system via lawsuits, contracts, etc, would know that the second this woman brought her daughter to his doorstep, lawyers should have been contacted and paperwork set in order.

I think that many of today’s men are suffering from what I call, “Regular Guy Syndrome.” The tell-tale signs of this syndrome are the following: 1) A belief that they system is fair and honest prior to experiencing the workings of the system. 2) Shock in discovering that the system is self-serving, irrational, and unfair. 3) Ignorance of the various laws and poilicies that subjugate them. 4) A belief that a basic morality and worldview is shared by both genders.

It is the Regular Guy who gets screwed because he thinks that his ex-wife will ‘Do the right thing” post-marriage. It is the smart guy who knows that his ex-wife will do the wrong thing post-marriage and does what he can to protect himself before this happens. It is the regular guy who relies solely on his lawyer to handle his divorce. It is the smart guy who knows that his lawyer’s primary concern is himself and his BMW, and treats the situation accordingly. It is the regular guy who thinks the police will take him seriously when he files a well-founded complaint of domestic violence against his abusive wife. It is the smart guy who brings his lawyer or a qualified witness to the poilce station with him so that the police do not pull any funny business.

The point is that the Regular Guy is screwed in today’s world. We need to become the Smart Guy. The only way this can be done en masse is for men who have been through the system to teach Regular Guys the real deal.

And yet, people never really listen, do they?

but in the US (oregon) there is no “handbook” or any other concise description of what it is you are in for. the laws are burried and you only find out about them when you trip over them by accident. there is no “user manual” on how to deal with or negotiate the support system. you just get whacked and then try and deal with it the best you can.

forums like this are the only beacons of light around. the truth is mostly available here. who are you going to believe? the government website that states that 95% of DV is man on woman? or the figures you find with the help of men here?

here is where the help begins.

Umm I guess she could have robbed a bank and he would do the time.

We have gone from a system of Justice to a system of hungry-hungry power whores. American Justice? No, AmeriKan Bar Association. Mothers can steal the children, hide them or just deny visitation in direct violation of orders written by these Kommie Klowns, but let a father raise the kids and not continue to pay as directed by Herr Commisar and all hell breaks loose. F*CK the law!

roger:

You make a good point. However, there are some very helpfull books, such as Warren Farell’s “The Myth of Male Power,” and Stephens Baskerville’s “Taken Into Custody.” Unfortunately, and I think this speaks to your issue, these books are not well known outside of our movement. (Gee, I wonder why?).

A literal handbook would be a good thing, though. For example, young, college-bound men must now be warned against having sex with a female student that has consummed ANY amount of alcohol, as the law now considers a woman who has consumed any amount of alcohol unable to make an informed decision about sex.

Not to thow this guy under the bus here…but he has no-one to blame for this but himself. He needed to make the court and county agencies responsible for monitoring this aware the the minor child was in HIS physical custody.

As it stands, and as a matter of law, the divorce decree states that the ex-wife has physical custody of the minor child. Until that wording has been modified to reflect the reality that HE is, in physical custody of the minor child then the support oder still stands and it looks like he’s on the hook for whatever….

Sorry pal, you have my sympathy, but it ends where your tardiness begins.

I went into marriage with both eyes wide open I thought. I heard that things were different in divorce compared to other decades. Though this statement is true as dads had it worse in the 70′s and 80′s. The main stream media and government did not report this, but fathers only recent got “visitation rights” of four days a month, also child support would be adjusted for any amount, while the dad was ordered to pay for all court costs.

Because the government issues marriage licenses, a law ought to pass that creates awareness of the likelihood for divorce (about 60%) and what the consequences – mom most likely gets kids, money, property; dad pays and loses civil rights, among other things.

Further, the future husband and wife ought to be required to spend 2 to 4 hours in their county’s family court. A short quiz could also be important.

If the government spent as much money and advertising on drug and DUI and seat belt awareness as it does on divorce awareness, then America may have stronger families for our country’s future.

Very demonstrative of the tyranny of the courts. Many if not most judges think that they are the great annointed ones of our society. If you want to see realy abuse of power, real judicial terrorism just stop in any courtroom.

Hmmm. Seems to me the father’s proper response here would be to immediately seek the court’s recognition that it is he who has physical custody. Then, only once his custody has been established by court order, file a motion to collect child support from the mother. That way, he might eventually get his money back.

The risk, of course, is that the court will not recognize him as custodian, despite the fact that he has, and has had, physical custody of the child for years. That’s where witnesses and a good lawyer are important. And if the ex gets even a hint that she will be pursued for support, she will likely immediately seek to re-establish custodianship for herself. That’s why it’s important for him to get the custody order first, when the only opposition is likely to be the court’s greed for federal subsidies. There are limits on what a judge can get away with, even in family court, if the plaintiff is persistent enough.

The proof the system `wants it that way`, the system is built that way.

My references. Along with over two dozen appearances before family court on behalf of my children I spent three years in court every day following other family hearings. For the last tens years I`ve analyzed all the empirical data and studies relating to sole custody. The government won`t even respond to the questions generated. I`m in Canada but the US readers should pay close attention as you`re not to the point where we are,,,yet.

On child support.

The Cdn government final report on children declares the most important thing to a child is child support, yet every study do says definitively the most important thing to a child of divorce is not losing a parent.

If the custodial parent is on welfare child support paid stays with government to pay the welfare bill which is unconstitutional.. Here welfare is a safety net funded by all the tax payers of Canada, it is unconstitutional, illegal, to force an unfair responsibility to pay on a minority group.

Child support is not only illegal here but it has nothing to do with being important to the child, as a matter of fact it`s failing Cdn children. In Canada, British Columbia and Quebec collect the most child support, over 80% while Ontario collects less than 50%. Ontario has the fewest youth problems even though their economy has been shedding high paying jobs since 2002.

A new study on crime in Vancouver (home of the 2010 winter Olympics) just came out.
Property crime is the highest of any North American city, four times the rate of NYC. Furthermore unreported crime has climbed to historical highs, police estimates range from only 1 in 3 to 1 in 7 crimes are reported.
It wasn`t long ago China warned travelers to BC to leave their valuables at home so come on up in 2010, just leave the bling at home.

Here`s the list of 5 problems outlined by the study showing crime in Vancouver is out of control.

1 `Organized crime.` Odd it should be at the top of the list when organized crime doesn`t create crime, it`s crime that creates the organization.

http://www.fathers.bc.ca/stats.htm

Children denied a parent;

85% of all youths sitting in prisons.
——–

2 `Childhood development`.

http://www.fathers.bc.ca/stats.htm

Children denied a parent;

71% of all high school dropouts.
———–

3 `Mental disorder.` It has been reported out of a population of 30m there are 2 million children denied a parent with half suffering from PAS.

http://www.fathers.bc.ca/stats.htm

Children denied a parent;
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control).
———-

4 `Repeat offenders addicted to drugs.`

http://www.fathers.bc.ca/stats.htm
Children denied a parent;
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers.
—–
5 `Criminal justice system`. I belive I`ve just explained why it`s broken but not broke.

My stepdaugher’s mother, who has physical custody, receives nearly $20,000 a yr tax-free for 1 child (other child removed permanently for neglect); the mother has failed drug tests; has a 5-page rap sheet, often for serious violent assaults; lives with convicted drug felons on a regular basis; and routinely moves (11 times in 18 months) and fails to put the child in school. In KY, if a parent fails to put a child in school for 6 or more days, she/he is supposed to go to court – my stepdaughter missed 6 WEEKS in one semester alone last semester.

My husband, who was in the Marines (now combat-disabled and home) has been trying to get his daughter, but the mother moves from county to county using 3 different names.

Neither my husband nor I have criminal or drug records; we are career people who have successfully raised 3 other happy and educated children.

So here’s my complaint: Despite a number of complaints to personnel about her welfare fraud, social security fraud, educational neglect, and drug use, she has managed – with the help of tax paid-for state attorneys – to get her case transferred and delayed now for nearly a year. If I hadn’t witnessed this nonsense myself, I would not have believed it possible.

Taxpayers pay for drug addicts to abuse the system and in the meantime, a poor six year old is the victim of all of this. We have kept receipts showing that my husband has attempted many times to visit the child with the mother refusing visitation and that we have paid nearly $50,000 in just the past few years, yet the mother moves the child around to criminal homes.

Where are our public officials? Why is this allowed? I have no doubt that the violence my stepdaugher has already seen will haunt her forever. We are awaiting a court date….again delayed for the 3rd time this summer…even though KY law says that such issues are supposed to be expedited.