By Craig J. Cantoni

This season’s Super Bowl will be played about 10 miles from my home in Scottsdale, Ariz. In one of the silliest gestures produced by the unwarranted mass hysteria over global warming, the host stadium is planting trees to counteract carbon dioxide produced by the game.

If global warming is truly man-caused, and if environmental catastrophe is as imminent as Al “Zinc Mine” Gore says, then the Super Bowl should be cancelled. After all, what’s more important: a football game or the inundation of Florida and death of life as we know it?

Consider the carbon dioxide produced by fans flying on jet aircraft to Phoenix from around the country for the game: Assuming that 40,000 will do so, the carbon dioxide spewed in the air by jet engines could total more than 40 million pounds, or more than 1,000 lbs. per passenger.

No doubt, some of the 40,000 are wealthy left-liberal greens who idolize Mr. Zinc Mine and throw their empty Perrier bottles in the recycling can in his honor. Then they spew 1,000 lbs. of carbon dioxide into the air to fly to something as unessential as a football game. Their hypocrisy is as astonishing as the hypocrisy of gaseous Gore, who flies around the world instead of teleconferencing.

Similarly, take the example of a green guy from San Francisco who has corresponded with me about global warming. He’s so distressed about the destruction of the planet that he wants a world government to dictate the reduction of greenhouse gases. He also thinks that tribal life in New Guinea is superior to life in a democratic, capitalistic, industrialized society.

This is a guy who has visited New Guinea and has climbed Mt. Everest and other peaks on other continents. Just one of his trips produced more carbon dioxide than what a big SUV spews in six months.

Maybe his world government will execute mountain climbers for befouling the planet. Or maybe it will outlaw Super Bowls.

If I were czar of the world, I’d ban Super Bowls, not because I believe that humans cause global warming, but because I think the games don’t match the hype and are played by goons, who, if they were fighting in the Roman Coliseum, would hear me rooting for the lions.

Hmm, come to think of it, how will the world government determine whose ox should be Al Gored in a futile attempt to end global warming? The answer is that the determination will be made by political calculations, just as they are now.

Al Gore is not a master scientist, but he is a master politician (and demagogue). He would never suggest canceling the Super Bowl, because he knows that working stiffs would get angry if their bread and circus were taken away. Instead, he advocates measures that hurt working stiffs without them realizing that he is responsible for the hurt.

For example, now that he has achieved fame and fortune with the help of his family’s zinc mine, Gore advocates measures that will have the indirect effect of closing mines and putting miners out of work. He can count on his fellow propagandists in the mainstream media to not connect the dots for the proletariat.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a good idea to plant trees. I’d like to plant one in Al Gore’s behind.

An author and columnist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at ccan2@aol.com.

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